<p>Based on our sample size of 3 kids…I’d say absolutely!! We’re thrilled that our kids perform well academically, but it sure would be nice if we could actually see the floor in ANY of their rooms. I worry sometimes what may be lurking underneath all the clutter…picture the trash compactor scene from the original Star Wars movie. :)</p>
<p>I guess in the grand scheme of things we’ll take high-performing slobs and hope that they can learn neatness and transfer their school-based organizational skills to their non-school lives. In the meantime, break out the dozer and dumptruck…it’s time to clean.</p>
<p>Keepmecruisin, your story made me cry. It’s so sad but so inspiring. It hits harder now that we are close to that point in our relationships with our children. Your mom sounds like a very loving person. You are also a loving person who gave her a great gift by being with her at the end of her life and also showing her that she could pass without worry about your future. What an amazing strength of character you showed by being able to grow up rather than being consumed by sadness.</p>
<p>You are also making me reevaluate our plans. Since we are from the east coast, all of my family and some of H’s live there, including my eldest D. We also have close friends there who would care for her. That wouldn’t help if she suddenly needed to be closer to home for whatever reason. Selfishly, I am not eager to let my youngest go so far away. She is a homebody too and I suspect she would like being able to escape to home from time to time and bring her friends to us. So, even though I think we’ve been assuming she’d go back east for college, I’m rethinking it.</p>
<p>There is no place in this country that is near an urban area that is not within 7 hours of any other urban area, given air travel.</p>
<p>D’12 is at Yale, and they do NOT pre-register for classes. They have a shopping period of the first week, and with the exception of certain classes with size caps (where you apply ahead of time – and would NOT be required for a major, but can be very cool classes) they don’t cap classes. Last year, intro to computer science was MUCH larger than expected, and they kept moving from classroom to classroom for the first several weeks until the number of the students in the class all had seats in the classroom. Getting closed out of required classes seems fairly common in schools with more limited resources.</p>
<p>Having dealt with a college kid dependent on air travel for half her time in school, I can tell you that relying on flying is not an ideal plan. It may be the only plan and it may be worth the sacrifice but it is not ideal. For one thing, there’s no flexibility to the schedule. You often have to make arrangements well in advance and then find that your finals conflict. Or you are missing an important meeting or game. And you can’t just come home when you need/want to if there’s a short break. It takes too long and it’s too expensive. </p>
<p>There’s also a huge difference where you are flying. Every time my D had to make a change somewhere, there was a problem. You have to count on delays. In one case, she was stranded in Texas overnight. We are prepared to face this again but I’d rather be within driving distance–even if it means driving the godawful I-95 corridor. (That can take just as much time as flying cross country too and it’s just as miserable as sitting in the last row of coach next to the lavs in a no-recline middle seat.) </p>
<p>Columbia definitely closes classes and there are priorities for registration. Seniors first, juniors, second, etc. and majors also get priority over others if the class is needed for the major. I don’t think resources is the issue there. There is a shopping period (isn’t that common at most schools?) where you can beg the professor to let you in or hope that others drop out. Resources do play into it in the UCs for sure where classes are cut back and made less available.</p>
<p>For financial and travel reasons (which overlap), we’ve ruled out the west coast and plains. Midwest, SE, NE…as long as it’s driveable in a day, like 12 hours max (Boston or Atlanta and anywhere in between, or Chicago), then it’s on the table. We have family in those areas so that makes a difference too.</p>
<p>Would i prefer close by? Yes, probably, but it’s her call within those parameters.</p>
<p>My older S actually made his own not-more-than-3-hours-away rule :)</p>
<p>Our D1 travels by air for the Christmas semester break and for Spring break, and we’ve had a mixed bag of experiences with it. For this coming Christmas, we booked her ticket back in June for what we thought was a semi-reasonable price and it was a non-stop from Minneapolis to Flint and vice-versa for the return. Foolishly…we thought we were set.</p>
<p>Delta initially changed her itinerary to a one-stop on the front half with a layover at Detroit Metro. We weren’t pleased, but at least if something happened she was only an hour and a half away. Then they changed it to a one-stop on the front half going through Atlanta. Who the $%#*# goes through Atlanta while flying from Minneapolis to Flint? I called Delta and explained in my relaxed, dulcet toned voice that this was NOT acceptable, especially 4 days before Christmas. Oddly enough…they switched her itinerary back to a non-stop from Minneapolis to Flint that was 3 minutes different from her original times. I just “love” Delta.</p>
<p>Last week we got the dreaded itinerary change e-mail…again…now changing her non-stop return routing to a one-stop with a layover in…you guessed it…Atlanta. I don’t have the heart to argue with them anymore. Since Atlanta and Minneapolis are both hubs for Delta and she’s heading back with a day to spare before classes start I think we’ll just take our chances.</p>
<p>I never really thought about the distance issue. In college, I had roommates from Oregon (she eventually transferred to Reed), Hawaii (she transferred <em>from</em> WPI) as well as the usual NJ/NY/PA. I totally get Keepmecruisin’s take on it. During my mother’s final illness, my brother came down from NYC every weekend to visit her. We were happy none of us lived that far away from her and each other. We saw our parents go through incredible grief because they were unable to visit their parents one last time (both parents had immigrated from China, so quick travel just wasn’t possible).</p>
<p>Re: our own college experiences and how they color our opinions about our child’s college search, I was a product of an upper middle class family where everyone, men and women, back many generations had attended college. One side of the family typically attended Auburn, the other Tulane/Newcomb. I was NMF, with grand illusions of applying to Ivies. Our local flagship at the time was not good. I did not even apply to it. But when the time came my family sustained a number of serious financial reversals requiring us to sell our house. All of a sudden I was on the financial aid track. I applied to about 7 schools, had a great NMF scholarship to U of Texas, but chose to go to a small liberal arts school in Virginia that gave me a huge grant. I lucked out. Flash forward to today, the school I went to is $60,000 a year and the local flagship has improved such that it attracts many top students and is a great bargain. I’ve had to suppress my snobbery about the flagship, as I am sure one of my kids will go there. I now find myself encouraging my D to look at state schools in the South that I would never have considered in my day, due to their value. I would love to send her to the type of school her mom or I attended, but it does not seem economically prudent.</p>
<p>Here’s the “other” Sally just joining this thread–not sure how I missed it for so long.</p>
<p>I am wondering if anyone in the 2015 group has a fine-arts student, particularly a dancer. My daughter is starting to focus on college options and we have visited a few schools in driving distance (two state flagships, a “directional” safety and a large Catholic college). She talks variously about a) doing a double major in dance and ??, b) majoring in ?? with a minor in dance, or c) doing either of the above and making a college dance team. Of the schools we have visited, two have outstanding dance programs and the other two have outstanding dance teams. I am dreading coordinating on-site auditions along with everything else that we’ll have to tackle senior year.</p>
<p>My daughter is a focused, practical girl who wants to get a good job when she graduates. Being a dance teacher is not her career goal. If anyone with a dancer has any advice on the best way to go about all this, I would love to hear it!</p>
<p>(As an aside, she is my second child, so I have done the college thing once already–my first is happily ensconced in a wonderful southern LAC.)</p>
<p>Hi Sally!
Sorry I stole your name… I didn’t realize there was a Sally till a few weeks after I created my username. I had to change my original name after I was busted by my kids!</p>
<p>D1’s room mate is a dance minor. Majoring in French. Her dance minor actually negatively impacts her GPA. She is graded along side girls that are majoring in dance. I think she juggles well- though I know she gets stressed with productions/ rehearsals when she is spending hrs at the studio and trying to keep up a rigorous academic schedule.</p>
<p>Bunhead’s d is a dancer- she regularly posts here. Hopefully she will have some advice.</p>
<p>sally305–Hi!! No dancers here…but, my oldest son is a theater performance major getting his BFA at a private university in California (they also have an fantastic dance program, too). Older S, when he applied for schools wasn’t 100% sure he wanted to go all the way with acting and wanted a school where he had options. (He has decided to go for it after being there). My youngest is a classical/jazz bassist already looking ahead to auditions next year and has no desire to study anything else (Oy, and we have to travel with his bass to each of them–across the country, I might add). If your D is interested in a double major or doing dance as a minor the best advice I can give you is to stick with a school that is not strictly a conservatory or look at conservatory programs that partner with another school and allow for crossover. If dance is secondary, then a lot of schools will work.</p>
<p>No dancers here either. My daughters friends sister is minoring in dance at a small school near Boston. She may decide to teach dance for awhile after she graduates until she figures out what to do ( she is a senior). </p>
<p>Most girls here who do dance are not going to major or minor in dance. Most are majoring in physical therapy and some want to be on the dance team in college.</p>
<p>Interesting about your D’s roommate. Even if my daughter were a minor, I think she would do as well in each class as anyone who is a major, because of her level of training and ability. But the grade aspect is interesting. I will keep my eye out for bunheadmom as well. I have seen her on the dance pages from time to time, but that forum is pretty quiet.</p>
<p>momsings, good advice. She definitely does not want a conservatory environment where she is isolated from the “regular” students. She thinks on the whole the BFA-type kids are more “artsy” than she is, which I find interesting since she is actively involved in the performing arts.</p>
<p>I cannot imagine hauling a bass around the country. Hopefully he won’t have to go too far! A friend’s son is in the dual-degree program at Lawrence (also for jazz bass). He adores it.</p>
<p>Welcome sally305!! No dancers amongst my kids (D1 - Class of '11, D2 & S - Class of '15) but I’ve been told I have moves resembling a seizure. That’s a compliment…right?? :)</p>
<p>Keepme, I so understand wanting to limit the search to a drivable distance. That must have been such a difficult year for you in college. I think the same way. If something comes up that means kiddo wants to be home more, or needs us to be there more…if it’s a flight away it just won’t be doable. I do wish there were more options that my D would like nearby. </p>
<p>W2Bhome, It’s great that you like looking at the course and program info at the colleges. I have no idea what I am even looking for. When it comes down to it, I suppose we can compare one program to another, but I really don’t know what is good or bad at this point.</p>
<p>I wish it could be a drive-able distance for us, but for both boys, for what they want to study it didn’t and isn’t going to happen that way. At least older S is only a 2 hour plane ride away. That doesn’t seem far. But S 2015 will be going across the country, and really, for what he wants that is what is best. It will be very difficult for me, to be sure. Oh well, since DH is retired, maybe we’ll move with him (ha),</p>
<p>I don’t know, unless it’s a recent phenomenon. Or I should have had a much higher GPA when I was in HS. D’s room is usually pretty neat, not super clean, but neat. The problem is the messes she leaves everywhere else in the house, but it’s hard to get on to her about it because I do the same thing. My husband is the neat one in the family. If you see the house where he grew up compared the where I grew up…his absolutely, perfectly neat…mine, so not. lol Our house is a blend of that.</p>
that this was NOT acceptable, especially 4 days before Christmas. Oddly enough…they switched her itinerary back to a non-stop from Minneapolis to Flint that was 3 minutes different from her original times. I just “love” Delta.</p>
(ha),</p>
D’s room is usually pretty neat, not super clean, but neat. The problem is the messes she leaves everywhere else in the house, but it’s hard to get on to her about it because I do the same thing. My husband is the neat one in the family. If you see the house where he grew up compared the where I grew up…his absolutely, perfectly neat…mine, so not. lol Our house is a blend of that.</p>