@readingclaygirl congrats on the grad speaking role-- what an honor!
re: the Stanford rape case-- I have been following closely as well as the Vanderbilt case. One of the VU perps was found guilty in April (for the 2d time) and jury selection for another one begins today (also his 2d trial after the first was declared a mistrial.)
Totally understand the need to protect. Anyone sending their kids thousands of miles away has nothing but respect from me . I canāt even imagine. I was not happy with DH yesterday because he thought it would be a great idea if the boys took the monorail from Epcot to Magic Kingdom while we drove over . Every crazy thought went through my head ( accident in the car on the way over, monorail crash , they get separated ,the ferry into Magic Kingdom sinks, the park reaches capacity and we canāt enter, etc) Yes, I am a worry wart and those are helicopter rotors you hear . It brought back way too many memories of when DH allowed DS16 go to the bathroom unattended at 6. I realize there has to be a middle ground, but boy itās hard to find.
Iāve been following the Stanford rape case as well. Iāve come to the conclusion that DS16 wouldāve most likely attempted to rescue her as well, which is frightening in and of itself. I realize that it no way compares to the experience of being traumatized as that young woman was, it frightens me that he would put himself in harms way , and could become a victim too. For my own sanity, I need to step away from that case for a while.
Wow, @carolinamom2boys your Epcot thinking is a lot like how my brain works. I can come up with an unlimited number of scenarios to worry about on any topic involving the kids.
@sseamom, I hope all the crying now will make for a less emotional graduation day. Sometimes a few good cries can work wonders to stabilize things a bit.
@zimmum, welcome and wow, your S sounds amazing! I hope having a bunch of friendly online parents here in the States will help your comfort level with sending your S here.
@palm715 , Iāve always been a little uneasy with my D far from home- but felt better once she had a long term boyfriend to watch out for her. Now heās gone, so my worry is flaring up again. Itās a never-ending work in progress.
@psychmomma My husband attributes it to watching one too many Criminal Mind episodes. I attribute it to growing up in a major city and working in psychiatry for 8 years. Whatever the reason, I own my "
Craziness" and have used it to my advantage on several occasions.
In the same vein, has anyone read " Protecting the Gift" by Gavin DeBecker? Heās a social anthropologist(?) who rights about how humans are the only mammals in nature who are trained by society to disregard our intuition. Very good read for anyone whose interested .
Graduation is getting all too real. Finals done yesterday, cap and gown picked up today. Spoke with a long-time friend yesterday who pointed out how close D and I are. Wahhhh! Cue the tears!! :((
@zimmum yes it is a summer job. He is responsible for earning his own spending money for the summer and school year. I was also starting to worry about him getting way too accustomed to sleeping in very late, going out with friends and staying out very late and doing little else. This will give him some structure.
@zimmum Welcome! I have a moody S as well who actually just turned 18 today! When asked, he says he is excited about college, but he really doesnāt show itā¦so I worry incessantlyā¦sighā¦But I guess as parents, we will never stop worrying about our children.
We still have a full 2 weeks before graduation. Finals are next week and he has been working more than usual to finish up projects and papers, but this is possibly due to procrastination.
Itās always so comforting to read posts that make you realize you are not alone. I, too, have fears about not being able to protect my D as she heads off to school. Uncharted territory, though Iām guessing I will feel the same way in a few years when S steps out into the world even though it wonāt be as new to me then.
Itās difficult to turn off the helicopter, or step away from the concierge desk, and take on this new role ofā¦consultant? I can give advice and options, but ultimately their decisions are their own. I may not like what they choose. It might not be what I would choose. But the consequences, big or small, will be theirs to deal with. Kind of scary to stare at the screen and read that. Iām probably going too far down the worrying route. Iām sure everything will be fineā¦we were all 18 once, and probably made varying degrees of dumb decisions, yet we all turned out just fine. Right? 
2 more days of classes and 2 weeks until graduation! At this moment in 2 weeks I will be very nervously getting ready to give a speech and receive my diploma
When my D was heading off to college, someone on CC recommended the book āThe Gift of Fearā. I bought it for D and decided to read it first myself. Well, I just found it. It seems I never finished it and forgot all about it. I meant to give it to her while she was home but again got distracted. It might be something for your daughters. I did counsel my D before she left about not walking anywhere alone and being very careful with her safety. Not sure how much sunk in although I donāt think she is a big risk taker. Her school did require an online alcohol class prior to freshmen year and she had to do another one when she joined a sorority. I was glad she joined a sorority as it seems they all looked out for one another. I worried more when she moved away for a job and only knew two people there at first. Now she has several groups of friends and a boyfriend but I have only met her apartment mate. It is hard knowing they have a life away from us and we donāt know all the people they spend time with.
I worry for my S about peer pressure in college to drink. My D did not seem to have any but I think there can be more pressure on guys re drinking.
The best we can do is know that we gave them the ability to make good decisions and hope they will make safe decisions.
Honestly regarding drinking in college, I know Iām just a kid but my mom has strictly told us not to drink under the age of 21. Maybe some people still will drink but we wonāt. My sisterās college doesnāt really have parties and neither does mine (although you can find them on nearby campuses) and we have also expressed zero interest in drinking at all. I canāt really drink even at 21 for medical reasons. Basically just know your kids and them know your rules.
Straightedge is an option.
Iām guessing being a straightedge isnāt really a good thingā¦ @dyiu13 In the tree news, an insurance adjuster guy is coming out to see if there is any damage. Itās progress
I hope my D16 is straightedge. Itās a good thing on my book.
Oh okay @dyiu13 I get what you are saying. Interpreting things over the internet isnāt always easy
Ok I have a question ā¦ I am booking airfares to the States now from Zimbabwe and back home to ZIm in May next year after the Spring Semester is over for the Summer Break. On the school calendar it says their grades have to be in Monday 15th May 2017 5pm and that is the last thing on the calendar. Is that the day they finish up? When should I book his flight home, any suggestions?
@zimmum contact the school to ask what the policy is. Some schools have rules like āstudents have 24 hours after their last final to move out of their dormā. You would need his spring class schedule before you could adhere to that one.
What is straightedge?
back in the day-- my college years-- straightedge was a counter-punk termfor those who were anti-drug, anti-sex kids.