At my S school, we can get our own account to see financial data but that is it. I have it seen any option for us to get access to anything else school related.
We have told him we expect to see grades at the end of the semester and we have told him what type of grades we expect. We have also told him if he isn’t on track to make those grades we expect he’ll have had a lot of discussions with us ahead of time. For instance, if calculus is going to be a C we figure we’ll know about it because he’ll have been too busy going to tutoring to talk to us or he’ll call telling us the last test was a doozy. Communication is the expectation and then we can adjust from there.
We too have friends who lost a child to suicide, There were depression issues but the parents believe academic pressure was a compounding factor and the key to the timing of the decsion.
In my immediate family the experience of the men (my brothers, my H) in their first year of college has been shall we say “lackluster.” We are prepared for a stumble but also have ample evidence that it does not mean the end of the world.
Fist semester at DD’s school they don’t get any grades. Just P/F. She decided to take Chemistry, her least favorite science that semester
I would like to be able to see her grades even though we both know they will not be in the same range as her HS grades for obvious reasons but don’t know if it is possible since school does’t communicate with parents and using many levels of security for student to log in.
@Ballerina016 Your D would have to sign a FERPA waiver. They are usually available through student services. @gettingschooled If you want more access/the ability to call the school and get actual information, have your S sign a FERPA waiver, usually available through student services. On the topic my sister and I already signed them. My mom never outright said we had to, we just figured we did. Plus I did so she could be at my meeting w/ Disability Services. In other news- Dorm Mountain has grown! I now have a mini fridge, pillows, hangers and fans.
I have her login and a password. School is using security login only from specially certified computer that sends login code to her phone every time she logs in. Then she has to enter that code to login. And you have to do it every time. Code is good just for one login. She is very much aware that I just paid a small fortune for her first semester. I know that she will do her best.
I think if a parent is paying for school, its 's a reasonable request to see proof of grades at week 6 of semester. Waiting for the end leaves no time for “correction.”
My mom has no worries we won’t tell her our grades. We always told her our test/quiz and overall grades in high school,good and bad, without prompting. It’s not hard to do when you are constantly reassured that you are not in trouble over one bad grade, or that the love you receive is tied to academic success. Of course my parents want us to get good grades and succeed, but by not punishing bad grades(not doing homework would definitely be punished b/c not doing it was seen as a lack of effort), it allowed us to feel comfortable sharing them. Just my 2 cents
Has anyone else been preparing their child for the differences in grading from HS to college. In my experience, there are many more opportunities to boost grades with homework , extra credit , etc in HS. In college , they may only have several grades . I think many of our kids are going to be surprised once they get to school regarding grades .
@carolinamom2boys Yes, I’ve had that discussion with my sweet girl. She experienced the grade drop when she transitioned from the IB MYP (middle years program) to the IB DP (diploma program). The students took 10 classes in the IB MYP (9th and 10th grade) which included Digital Technology and PE. For most kids that was an easy 6-7 (IB grading scale is 1-7 with 7 being an A+).
The other 8 classes were Biology, Physics, Chemistry, History, English, language (French/Spanish or Mandarin based on the students track) Math (HL or SL) and Music or Drama (whichever the student chose). The students didn’t get extra credit assignments during the year but had one assignment called the Middle Years Personal Project which could earn the one addition grade. Over a two year period (9th and 10th grade) they worked on a 3,500 word research paper which included a presentation which was made in front of parents and family. The projects ranged from starting a non-profit, to building a computer, to learning to play an instrument, to writing a book to writing original music.
When the students transitioned to the IB DP they went down to 6 classes but the IB DP included the 4,000 word extended essay, 1,500 theory of knowledge essay, creativity/activity/service (150 hours required but all kids had 300-500 hours in the end) and a 2,000 word essay/assessment for each class. The college counselor’s and IB DP Coordinator met with the families to explain that to see a drop in grades would be natural because the IB DP is considered college level. My sweet girl was happy because she got to pick classes geared toward her college major which would not be STEM heavy (even though she was a consistent 7 in physics she really didn’t like it). Since the kids took Biology, Physics and Chemistry in 9th and 10th grade they actually met their Core 40 Academic Honors criteria by the end of 10th grade.
Each senior year, the prior year students who are college freshman’s return for a panel discussion regarding their college experience so far. Since our classes are so small (no more than 45 students per grade level) the kids are pretty tight knit so many kids come back to chat with students throughout their undergraduate time. All of the kids have said that their first two years were not as difficult as their IB DP (11th and 12th grade). Also, because they were taking classes in their major (many had earned credit from their IB exam scores) they were more comfortable with the classes.
Our kids do a lot of writing throughout the IB MYP and IB DP programs. They earn their Core 40 Academic Honors Diploma in April and sit for the IB Diploma Exams for three weeks in May (but don’t learned if they earned the diploma until July).
My sweet girl always says that staying organized and not procrastinating were keys to her success.
@HappyFace2018 - love reading your posts, especially this one ^^. S16 just received his IB diploma, and it sounds like he had a bit of a tougher time than your daughter (or mine when she got hers in 2009!). He’s a little late to the organization game, and played a schedule-heavy spring varsity sport, so it was quite a journey!
My daughter also was surprised at how well-prepared she was for college – all of the writing and research really helped her to be confident in her approach to assignments.
Am hoping the IB prep plus my son’s newfound respect for scheduling/planning will give him the tools he needs. He’s also quite happy that he’ll be focusing on only 4 classes vs. 7. Should be simpler to keep track of!
@carolinamom2boys I’ve talked with D about the differences in grading too. Her HS was project-based, and the district uses standards-based grading, and there were indeed many ways to meet standards, and many of those were non-traditional. While they also did plenty of research and writing, critical thinking, etc., the idea of lectures followed by midterms and finals as a primary grading method will be entirely new to her.
She IS a very organized person, and I know that will serve her well. But there’s no doubt that her college classes will be in a more more formal setting, and the expectations quite different. So we have talked about that.
As far as getting access to her grades, I think she signed the waiver, but I’m not sure-we’ve all signed so many things lately. I do know that the school handbook says that it has the ability to contact parents if the students are faltering in some way, even without a signed permission form. But D has always kept me updated and I never checked her grades once her senior year-couldn’t even remember the password. But it really depends on the student. I had another student whose father and I did insist on access to grades because her senior year was rather spotty.
But I don’t think I’d ever insist on access just because I was paying some tuition and “had the right” to see them. For this D at least, we’re going with her knowing the gpa she’ll need to keep her scholarship. It’s not overly punitive, and we think she’ll do all right. I also remind her that she can ALWAYS call me if something is troubling her, that her well being is more important than anything else, and to never think we’ll be “mad” if she finds she’s struggling.
Looking back over her HS years I can say the most important things we’ve encouraged is her ability to advocate for herself and interact with her teachers. This was very important when it came to discussing a grade with her teacher that she thought should have been higher and asking for letters of recommendation for activities/college applications. The friendships she built with several of her teachers will last forever. While she did not care for a few of them, they all respected her (so much so that she was chosen as a member of a three student panel to interview three Upper School Principal candidates by the teachers during a phase of the interview process).
Her private school used a program called ManageBac to record grades, CAS updates, communicate with the students and post grading period reports/semester reports. I had access to it. What was more important to me were our conversations about school. Each day, when her dad picked her up from school, she’d call me.
I’d ask “How was your day sugarplum?” She’s say “my day was good, my day was good” and then she’d go through each class with me including what she learned, what she liked/disliked about class and what homework she had. This conversation could last 10-15 minutes of her 25 minute ride (I let her off the hook for these daily conversations in college…I’m really gonna miss that part) :(( I told her she can call for anything at all but texting with “Hey momma, just wanna let you know I’m okay” would be appreciated.
Because she was selected for GW’s University Honors Program and received a Presidential Academic Scholarship she has to maintain a certain GPA in order to keep the scholarship and graduate with Latin Honors. She understands that “to whom much is given much is expected”. She had a full plate with orchestra, performing acts, fulfilling her duties as a board member of a youth organization and school activities. She said she wants to be active in school (GW, the Elliott School and Honors Program are already emailing her with activities available to her) but wants to stay focused on classes and ease into her schedule (which also includes working out on a regular because she’s heard about the “Freshman 15” from her friends.
Our kids are so blessed! So I’m weeping now because as I was typing this a notification popped up “30 Days to GW #RAISEHIGH” :((
I agree @sseamom that your daughter is one of the most organized kids I know ( well kind of know) . Quite an accomplishment to graduate at 16 , and with all the world experience that your daughter has had. She’s making quite the difference with the at risk population. She’ll be a great teacher .
I don’t foresee any difficulty for DS16 in the transition. He’s always taken a heavy academic load in HS ( no extra credit for him) . He truly loves learning , especially reading . He’s also very organized and always prepared ( I guess that Eagle Scout means something after all ). Maturity wise , he’s my 50 year old 18 year old. His biggest difficulty will probably be slowing down adjusting to a less rigorous schedule . While we don’t expect any difficulties , no one truly knows how the transition will go. There will be new challenges like homesickness , making new friends , learning to live in close quarters, sharing a room ( he’s never had to and his dorm room is smaller than his current room), sleeping in a twin size bed after sleeping in a queen for 10 years, making sure that he eats, etc. There will be a lot of changes that have absolutely nothing to do with academics.
Academically , he has always done well despite being in a huge ( over 450 students in his graduating class) educational environment . He tends to be his hardest critic and has always been self driven. That being said, he will be in a academically challenging environment where he needs to maintain a 3.5 GPA to maintain his near full ride scholarship. Those things add a new level of stress that he has not experienced before . He will be in an environment full of other " 1%" students , and will have to adjust to that as well. It sounds like many of the students here will have to make that adjustment this fall. That adjustment is not something to be taken lightly. Every year there are hundreds of posts reflecting that. College is so much more than academics, and at times that is forgotten or minimized. We too have had the discussion with him that we love him dearly , and that academics does not define his worth as a person. If he loses his scholarships , we will regroup and move on. I never want to get the phone call that one of our other Scout mom’s received that her son had committed suicide near the end of his freshman year. I keep that in the forefront of my mind while I navigate the transition from parent to consultant .
@HappyFace2018 DS16 has also had to prioritize what he chooses to participate in. He routinely gets emails from the Honors College and other departments inviting him to consider participation in their programs, but he’s made the smart decision to not over extend especially during the first semester.
@auntiek Congrats on both of your kids earning the IB Diploma! That is outstanding! I’m sure your DS is “Ready for the World’s Stage” (our schools motto ) It was very rigorous from start to finish. The only small complaint she had was that she was still studying for the IB Diploma exams when most of her friends who weren’t in an IB program were done with their exams ;). She got over that feeling the minute she saw the “DIPLOMA AWARDED” message! Proud momma I am!!
As for organization and transition to college, I will admit organized I am not! I really never have been- the only “below expectations” I ever got on an elementary school report card was organization. But I know I have to be in college and I already have a planner to use! I’m hoping the transition goes smoothly. I already have friends- both first year and upperclassmen. I know my boundaries regarding partying. I feel mostly ready. My roommate and I were talking yesterday and we agreed that it’s the little things we will miss the most
My D said what was really different once in college, was that other than the class times, your day was not structured and nobody told you what to do. She had to remind herself to eat regularly because sometimes she lost track of time.
She walked a lot because she lived on upper campus and walked down and up “cardiac hill” several times a day. Even in the winter, I think she only took the shuttle bus a few times on the coldest days.
She got a huge wipe-off calendar to keep track of everything.
She took lecture notes and then rewrote them again nicely because it helped remember things. She attended review sessions that the professors offered before big tests, and formed study groups.
“His biggest difficulty will probably be slowing down adjusting to a less rigorous schedule .”
@carolinamom2boys yes, that’s something D and I have talked about, along with the less structured environment. Because D likes to sign up for things, and in fact, her scholarship requires her to join two activities, I’ve cautioned her not to choose EVERYTHING that appeals to her at first. Liker her principal told her, “You only HAVE to choose 2, not 10!” I figure it’s going to take some time working out the best schedule for herself.
And this too:“College is so much more than academics”. This is SO very true. D will also be sharing a room for the first time since she was a toddler. She’ll need to shop for groceries if she wants to make her own “mug meals” in the microwave, figure out a new city’s public transportation, manage her budget. I think people who college as a trade school with a career as the end goal lose sight of the fact that college is also life skills learning.
I saw a picture come through my Facebook the other day “How moms see their kids heading to college” and it was a photo of a little girl with a big suitcase and a teddy bear. I realized last night that it’s not that I see her as a little kid, or still think of her that way, but I DO think of her as my "kid (young but not a preschooler like in that picture) who might need me or feel sad or lonely or too tired or sick and she’ll want her mom-just as I still did when I was 40 and my mom was 65. And I’ll be all the way out here and she’ll be there. And THAT’S what makes my heart break a little when I realize how soon she leaves.
) It was very rigorous from start to finish. The only small complaint she had was that she was still studying for the IB Diploma exams when most of her friends who weren’t in an IB program were done with their exams ;). She got over that feeling the minute she saw the “DIPLOMA AWARDED” message! Proud momma I am!!