Most college profs put their required texts, expecially the most expensive ones, on the Reserve shelf for 2-hour in-library use. But many students don’t know that. So, when a student does not buy the book, the student can easily fail the class. This is a compounded problem for poor students, who might also be helped by TRIO program at thier school…if they knew about those. It’s a real problem, the not-buying of textbooks. Certain assigned books in public domain are downloadable from Project Guttenberg for free, but those tend to be titles also available as cheap paperbacks or on loan from any library (Moby Dick, etc.).
@zimmum :x [-O< 
So many hugs, @zimmum ! That must be so hard, but how brave you and your son are! D’s school has several international students-one is from Ghana, and I believe one from Nigeria.
As for positive things-H and I are looking forward to eating what we want, when we want. D is not exactly picky, but on certain days she just turns her nose up at certain options, and is obsessed with Taco Tuesday. We’re good to go now!
I wonder if you’ll find yourself eating tacos today, @sseamom, just because you miss DD! :x
I’ll maybe kind of go put my face in my daughter’s pillow, trying to catch her scent.
Dorm mountain has been organized. It’s not too big. My mom says her room was a disaster before college.
@EastGrad that’s entirely possible since I am almost hard-wired for tacos on Tuesday now.
@zimmum I don’t know what to say. Your post was heartbreaking. Sending you only the best as you readjust your life.
Aloha, friends! I’ve missed you.
I tried to break myself of the CC habit the last few weeks but realized I really want to be a part of this tread. It’s taken me a couple days to catch-up. I love the collective emotions found here and of course all the great tips. We have created a very special place.
D and I leave for Northeastern in less than three weeks. All that has been bought is sheets and towels. I have plenty in online shopping carts (including the fake Ikea cart from Target) and am waiting for the mailing address that won’t be released until about a week before we arrive. Still, because the space is a big unknown, I think a lot will not be purchased until we are there.
D is getting anxious. By no means has she exactly said this, but the clues are there. Physically she has been glued to me in a way she has never been before. Not a day goes by that she hasn’t flopped on my bed, had our dog join her, and then bellow to me, “Come cuddle with us!” She likes to be the middle spoon! She has also made cryptic remarks about the workload and being successful at the level she expects from herself. Finally, over the summer, she broke her habit of biting her nails, but just last night I noticed they were ragged again.
I absolutely know the University of Hawaii would not have been the right choice, but the fact that every other choice is thousands of miles away has made this separation feel inevitable. I’m ready for it but that doesn’t made the sad moments any less overwhelming.
Hugs to you @palm715. I applaud your certainty that the school is the right place. Focus on that and come here when you need an understanding group.
DS has not suddenly become a cuddler with us–never was since he was always on the move! He has allowed his GF to snuggle closer in front of us since she needs that right now. PDA has never been his thing so I see this as a major allowance for her on his part.
Well, my S has been gone a week; well, more accurately we moved him in a week ago.
Surprisingly (shockingly??) we’ve heard from him very little, and then only brief one word answers or short two word questions. We’re disappointed, as normally he likes sharing moments with us. We can’t decide if it’s him exerting some newfound independence, being to busy/wrapped up/tired to do so, or just him sub-consciously getting us used to him being gone.
We’re contemplating not making the return trip next week for orientation as there is nothing left at home he couldn’t survive without until parents weekend in October. His being gone is a little harder on my than DW, so I was looking forward to the trip as a chance to see him/check in, but maybe that just makes the separation harder.
My DW does want to remind him that he needs to respond to texts with more than “grunts” (and not just to us - he ignored texts from my FIL and another family member last week) because, after all, he’s still a member of the family. No doubt if he needed something from us he’d expect an answer on the double
Wheee…
@dbjs70 It’s time for the intervention that I posted earlier after returning from orientation. Buy a card and enclose this line " Just wanted you to know that we love you and miss you. Enclosed is a $50.00 visa gift card for you to enjoy . " but don’t include a gift card. You’ll hear from him. 
Or text him and let him know that because you haven’t heard from him , you’re sure he’s doing great and that you’ll see him in Oct. But only say that if you truly are not going to go.
@carolinamom2boys, Mom thinks we shouldn’t go unless he tells us he wants us there, and that if he only wants us to come up to bring him his keyboard that isn’t reason enough. She knows I want to go, but wanted me to wait a few more days to see how I felt about potentially not seeing him before asking him.
My fear is that he’ll tell us he’s good, then once orientation starts realize he wants us there, and well, then it’s too late (that’s the advice my sister gave me - go because he won’t really know until he has that “oh s***” moment).
I don’t think not hearing from D is going to be a problem. She has both texted and called every day since she moved in on Saturday and except for today, that includes having just seen her earlier at orientation activities. I fully expect I’ll hear from her less as time goes by, but unlike her sister who only called when money was involved, she’ll always be a sharer when it comes to me.
@dbjs70 is there a reason that you need to be at orientation ? Paying a bill, etc? It truly is a personal decision whether you go or not. Just know that you will continue to be treated the way that you allow yourself to be treated. You will have to decide how long you allow yourself to be treated that way. Would you accept this treatment from other family or friends? Sometimes it takes an Oh crap moment to open some eyes. Good luck in your decision .
@carolinamom2boys, it’s a bit out of character for him. In the past when he’s been away (school trip to Italy, Scout Jamboree) we’ve heard from him when there has been fun things to share which is partly why I think this is just the independent side coming out more.
As for going or not going, there are a fair number of parent/family type orientation activities next week, including a couple we’ve been personally invited to (but not yet RSVP’d one way or the other). Beyond bringing him the rest of his stuff (aforementioned keyboard, cold weather clothing and some organizational “stuff”) he did ask about opening a local bank account (so he doesn’t get whacked with ATM fees using our local bank) which he can’t do without us (age).
There you have it. At least we have several more days to mull it over.
It sounds like not going is really not an option then. Maybe you can go and use that time to come up with some expectations regarding communication in the future.
@dbjs70 I would say go. I know I’m just a kid but if you were planning to go, he’s probably expecting you
@dbjs70 When my D16 and D14 were gone for the summer both swore that they would call and text. I rarely heard from either. D14 had an excuse (sort of) because she was in Ireland. D16 however had no real excuse. She would only text when she wanted a picture of her cat and called just because one time. I kept asking for things I needed from her in order to pay her bill and such and never got it. I finally stopped sending pictures of the cat and said if I couldn’t pay the bill then she would have to settle for CC. I got the info shortly thereafter.
I think it’s normal but it sucks.
@dbjs70 S16 went to a summer program a few years ago and did not respond to texts or answer calls while he was away. I was really upset! It was his 1st time away from home for more than a weekend. When I asked him about it afterwards, it seemed that he just didn’t think it was that big a deal. Because of that previous experience, I have been trying to be clear and help him understand that we do expect to hear from him and that he needs to respond with more than just an “ok” or “fine”… I told him that texting makes it so easy to stay in touch! Just take a minute to respond. When I was in college, I had to call my mother once a week or she’d start to worry.