@crowlady - I agree. I didn’t like the school’s senior photos either and keep putting off having professional ones done as well. Had been hoping to have some for Christmas cards, but will now have to wait until the spring I guess. Always something!
DS16 is slowly plodding through his applications. Only 3 submitted so far: 2 early actions and 1 RD. He has written, a lot, but still not decisive on the final list.
Weather is a consideration. We live in a warm climate and his favorite likely school is in frigid Canada. DS12 is already in Montreal and says that as long as you wear the right clothes, the weather is only a slight nuisance. DS16 is not 100% sold, and continues to consider adding more no-snow schools. It is a balancing act because his school limits applications.
We tend to favor keeping options open. DS12 was very entranced with LACs in the Fall of his senior year. By Spring, his perspective changed and he matured a lot, and he felt that a larger school would be a better fit.
So I wanted to vent a little, and I think you guys will understand best. Last night D had a mini meltdown over going to college. Saturday and yesterday we were among H’s extended family for various family events outside of Thanksgiving-lots of talk of course about D’s plans post HS. H and his brother are the only 2 who went to 4-year colleges. The sisters all have AA’s, but none of their kids or kids’ spouses do (D is the youngest by almost 20 years than her cousins on H’s side).
They were asking D if she was really ready to “be an adult at college” since she forgot something in the car (???), how she’d survive since she needs lots of sleep, and so on. D said that most of her schools have strict quiet hours, and they laughed and told her that no one would follow that rule. So she said no, her colleges are very strict-some even do room inspections and one friend had to miss a dance because her room wasn’t up to snuff. Then they laughed and said that kids are too coddled and wouldn’t grow up…it seems that she can’t win.
So last night long after she’d gone to bed, D came in tearfully asking me if they were right-WAS she too stupid to survive in college? WAS she going to get enough sleep? What if her roommate hates her? What if she has no friends, and so on. She wanted to know if I’d been nervous about it all, and I told her that of course I had been, and not to let her relatives get her down. She holds her own with them in conversation, but obviously it was getting to her.They love her and are proud of her, but all but H and his brother really have no frame of reference and I wish they’d just stop. D is ok today-off to continue with her 50-year plan.
@sseamom I am one who sometimes says kids these days are too coddled, but at the same time, I have come to realize that the pressures they are under, especially the super competitive kids, are way different than in the stone ages when I went to school. I have some friends who went to top universities and I know there was nowhere near the pressure on them. They mostly had no help, no tutors, no one reading their essays, no spell check even, and it all went fine. Today, that’s just not the way it is. I have heard of more than one story of super bright kids with many great options having similar meltdowns and seriously questioning their ability to succeed and even get into college. I feel for them and I wish it wasn’t so ridiculously stressful. Here’s to a good week for your D. It sounds like it was good for her to vent to you even if the circumstances were rough!
Thankfully we liked D’s senior pictures but that is no panacea either because we could not decide on which poses were better than the others so we picked 9 poses! After a fortune of money later we picked a good but large and expensive package. I am a sucker for pictures. LOL.
Did a lot of Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping online and got some great bargains (D’s comforter, body pillow, sheets, towels, foam topper, etc. along with great price on S’s suit, shirts, ties, bow ties (which are not common in our area here in the northeast but he says its the southern way and he is a southern boy at heart LOL). Went to a few stores late Thursday but it wasn’t the same because many of the stores closed at 1:00am and reopened at 6:00am. I am used to going straight through (store to store) until mid Friday afternoon, but I think those days are gone. I will get some sleep and begin next year at 6:00 am on Friday and continue until I am through.
Funny note…I was doing lovely son’s laundry and wondered why his white socks and white sleep tee shirts were a horrible shade of grey…apparently he didn’t realize (although I know I told him…LOL) that you are supposed to wash whites separately and therefore he turns up with dingy grey socks and sleep tee shirts. Black Friday solution - black socks and black sleep tee shirts! At least he’s doing laundry I guess its too much to ask that he separate whites, lights and colors…
We are in waiting mode now for a few weeks until more decisions are released sometime in January. Finishing up 3 remaining RD applications will hopefully follow in short succession but the waiting is difficult.
@sseamom It sounds like the relatives were being a bit insensitive - probably without realizing it. I think the school challenges are a lot different and harder now, and people that aren’t going through it themselves don’t understand. Hope she can shrug the comments off. I’m sure she felt better after talking to you.
DD submitted her UC apps last night, more than 24 hours before the deadline! She’s a procrastinator and a perfectionist, but decided to get them done and submitted before going back to school today after a week off for Thanksgiving. I am so proud of her! She spent a ton of time on her essays which, unfortunately, she wouldn’t let me read. Thankfully, she let her older brother take a look at them while he was home from college this past week and give her feedback. I figured since he got into all the schools he applied to four years ago, he would be a good person to do that, plus she’s willing to listen to him more than me or DH. She’s already submitted apps for both Cal Poly’s and will submit one more Cal State app today. Then she’s got two more RD apps for private schools with January deadlines, so she’ll be able to take a breather for a little while. I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
“…apparently he didn’t realize (although I know I told him…LOL) that you are supposed to wash whites separately and therefore he turns up with dingy grey socks and sleep tee shirts.”.
When I was having my vacation stay after giving birth (you used to get three days in the hospital then) my husband thought to be helpful on the morning he was to pick me up and did the laundry. I think he left notes on the wall for your son.
When I first met my ex, all of his tees and socks were light blue. That was because he’d washed brand-new dark blue sheets in with his other laundry. After we got married he wasn’t allowed anywhere near my clothes, and I did his for safety’s sake. Then I met my now-H, and early on I ended up with all of my underwear pink. That was the last time he even offered to do my laundry. Smart man.
Just submitted S UC applications. He is applying to three. One he decided just this morning to apply to as a safety.
@sseamom, aren’t there always people who have something negative to say. Hopefully your daughter made the connection that no matter what she did they criticized her for it. Sounds like they are just jealous
@sseamom I have had several college related breakdowns. So I completely get your daughter. And relatives- my twin sister is getting a ton of grief from my dad’s side for applying and getting accepted at culinary school. I’m getting my fair share of grief for applying to a women’s college(which my grandfather calls a girl’s school). Ugh. If your D wants to talk about it just PM me
@sseamom, ugh, family (sometimes!) They may mean well, but…ugh! College can definitely be a tough atmosphere for some young people, even the best and the brightest. Sometimes especially the best and the brightest. However, I don’t get the impression that your daughter will struggle. She sounds like one who will embrace the experience and thrive.
Senior pics: finally got my daughter to agree to a brief (very brief) photo session, and she was thrilled with the result. I have a very part-time photography business, but my kids just don’t love the camera! So I am happy we got it done (and we have already had to use the pictures for a couple things.)
Birth month online groups, yes! Here too. I miss the old school AOL boards.
D had an early morning interview for her super selective EA school today. It seemed to go well, and the interviewer has already e mailed, saying she submitted a glowing review. I know that doesn’t count for much, but it’s nice that D didn’t apparently send up any red flags 
@sseamom I’m sorry that your usually confident, remarkable daughter was made to doubt herself and feel inadequate by her family. That’s very tough. I’m also proud of you for exercising great self restraint in not calling them out on it. I’m sure your daughter will do wonderfully wherever she ends up. Sounds like the greeneyed monster may have made a visit last weekend.
Freaking out a bit today. Received a phone blast from the principal
At DS16 and DS19 school notifying me that a FRESHMAN has been suspended and arrested after he turned himself in for bringing a gun to school. The gun was kit loaded , but he did have one magazine of ammo. Neither son had any idea this was happening. How crazy is this world our children are exposed to these days? /
@sseamom I’m sorry your family members were insensitive to your D. I bet every one of our kids worries about their future roommate situation. And while moving away and gaining independence is exciting, it’s also frightening. It sounds as if their comments might have magnified all of the typical feelings and worries that college bound seniors face. I personally can’t wait to hear all about your D’s achievements in college (and beyond) as she seems to have so much enthusiasm and drive.
D decided to add one more UC today, so she’s applied to a total of 3.
@sseamom I know its hard but try not to let your D get upset or hurt by relatives opinions. We have similar situation as my S and D are both very high achievers and husbands side of the family are great but their kids are not in the same league academically. They continually make like my D is making too much of things and poo pooing the time and energy she (and my son) put into her classes, extracurricular activities and colleges she is reaching for. It has been difficult for her and she has at times been visibly resentful of some of them. I have tried to help her understand that they have different values on some of these things but that is what makes the world go round…different perspectives (and to take their opinions with a grain of salt but has been very difficult for her as I am sure it is with your D). I am sorry that it has upset your D so much (as it has many times my D) but unfortunately there is little to be done to change certain mentalities. I hope she realizes how great she is and that she will succeed in college just as she has in high school and not to let anyone make her feel any less than the awesome person she is!
My favorite quote of the day from class of 2016 students tread today: "Does FAFSA offers Cyber Monday deals?
Hugs to you @palm715 ! It is really hard to think of them being so far away.
@Ballerina016 LOL! Michigan is NOT humid (well maybe some, but not all). It is where we from farther south go to escape the humidity.
@carolinamom2boys how scary! What was that DC thinking? Taking a gun to school is NOT wise.
@carolinamom2boys, scary. I am glad the kid was caught
loved the light blue socks and tees @sseamom and the notes on the wall @Waiting2exhale! So upsetting to hear about student bringing gun to your son’s school. I can only imagine how worried and stressed you all must be. On a similar note I woke up this morning this morning to these first news clips (even before I had my coffee)…UChicago receives online threat and closes school (my D was going to apply but changed her mind), a bus bringing college students back to various college campus’ crashes in Virginia and then to top the cake…a guy trying to rob a house decides to get in through the chimney and gets stuck. Homeowner comes home and decides to light a fire (unbeknownst to the numb nuts stuck), hears screams from the fire, douses the fire and calls the cops. The would be robber died in the chimney which is unfortunate that he died but really what posses people to do such things? They had to break open the bricks to get him out and now the homeowner has expensive repairs to claim. My question is …what is this world coming to? I wanted to crawl back under the covers and start the day over.