I’m confused about what to do with wait lists. D accepted a place on 2 of them, but she doesn’t know how big a push she should make for either, and more specifically, when she should make the push, before or after May 1st? She has an accepted students weekend coming up at her current top choice. It seems like a great fit and they gave her very decent merit (they also gave $9k in financial aid, which was a shock). If she loves it, she will drop the wait list. If she doesn’t love it, we will have a serious issue. She will then seriously consider her current #2, which is much cheaper. If she agrees to #2, and gets off the wait list at either school, she will dump #2. My head is spinning. Thanks for reading this and any insights are greatly appreciated. This is my first time in wait list hell.
@QueensMom – Is the accepted students weekend school her top choice including the wait list schools, or only if she doesn’t get into her wait list schools? If it’s her top choice regardless of the other schools then obviously it’s an easy decision if the weekend goes well.
I don’t have any direct experience with kids getting in off the wait list. It might be worth starting a thread on the Parents Forum where the note would be seen by parents of kids from prior graduating classes. I do know from prior years’ threads and decision threads that kids are admitted from the waiting list throughout April, May, and beyond. Put another way, they’re admitted piecemeal, in small groups and possibly even one by one (and not in one large fell swoop).
I’d think (from first principles) that if the wait list school(s) in any way might end up on the top of the list that she should immediately start her push. These schools, still trying to protect their yield and to have to minimize the number of additional files they have to review, want to admit as few kids as possible from the wait list. Obviously the course of action would be to contact her admission rep, email and then follow up phone call, and let him/her know that the school was her first choice and that if she’s admitted she’ll send in the deposit within a day. She might include some pieces very specific to that school, esp programs (academic and non-academic) in which she plans to be active. Of course this doesn’t need to be true. If there’s anything that she can add to enhance her application she might throw that in the email (any additional honor, etc., no matter how squishy).
The only downside to moving immediately on this is that I do remember notes about kids who were admitted off the wait list and were given a really short time frame in which to respond. Like days, if not a single day. So, if that’s the case it might be worth waiting until the AS weekend is done (if that would determine the decision). You might start a thread on the specific school’s forum asking for direct experience with getting in to that specific school off the WL. You might get some insight into a winning strategy, timing, etc.
Best of luck. Keep us posted.
*Happy Holidays, Everyone!
*For those celebrating a holiday today 
@ballerina16 wrote:
“I love this idea to have avatar to reflect top choices. How about tomorrow to be “support your child’s top choices” avatar day?”
I know it’s not the intent, but I think doing this when the schools are HYPS or something similar is a bit cheesy. Starts to border on bragging and/or taking a victory lap in front of parents/families whose news was not as good and/or families where those schools were totally out of reach. Just like the kids are defined by the schools to which they were admitted, neither are the parents. And the avatar does sort of define you. Again, I know it’s not the intent of doing it.
And now I may be in hot water.
@AsleepAtTheWheel The same can be said about hoodies, tshirts, and car decals, don’t you think? Actually, I feel more comfortable about sharing victories with this crowd because you’ve also known about our defeats. You know how hard the journey is.
I really love @Ballerina016 avatar. Some times we miss the forest from the trees. I can’t help but feel a little bit of shared pride on @BAllerina016 DD many successes. Maybe it’s 'cause I’m a cheesy person 
@AsleepAtTheWheel Everyone here had ups and downs during this process, but we learned to be happy for each other. I am happy for @kittymom1102 who’s DS got into Stanford when my DD did not. I will be happy for those with good news on Ivy day. Why do we have a list of acceptances posted then?
@Ballerina016 I still remember when your DD got deferred from Caltech and MIT. I remember how heartbroken she was, and her by extension. I came here and posted my S’s rejection from Caltech. Then, happiness all around when @Ballerina016’s DD got a yes from the same schools that deferred her. I can’t help but feel a little bit of that happiness.
If I had to switch my avatar to “support my child’s top choice” - I’d probably put a photo of a big plate of Ethiopian food. Or maybe a bowl of pho, or sushi. Last week it was pupusas. This is from the kid who has a few schools to choose from, and one of the determining factors may be availability and access to a wide variety of food, other than what’s at the campus food service. He doesn’t have any strong positives or strong negatives that outweigh others among the schools at this point. We’re going to visit a few (thank my employer for my travel schedule over the past few years- frequent flyer miles are getting us around, and I’m couchsurfing with friends while he’s staying on campus). I hope something shakes loose.
The waitlist is meaningful at some schools while it isn’t at others. Being on Chicago/WUSTL/Harvard/ND/MIT/Stanford etc has been futile in the past in some years. So it is important to know whether waitlist means anything for that school before any of our kids want to pin their hopes over a school they have an admission in already.
@Queen’s Mom Have you checked the Common Data Set for the school(s)? There should be info on the number of applicants put on the WL and the number accepted off the WL for previous years.
The only thing I have heard about waitlists is that the notification is most likely after May 1, maybe even June. They will have deposited somewhere else, made housing choices maybe, might be talking to a rommate by then.
I’m sorry, I’m about to get into hot water myself here. Are we supposed to live our entire life in a certain way for fear of offending someone ?Are we not supposed to buy nice cars, live in nice houses, wear nice clothing , eat at nice restaraunts, attend private schools, drink fine wine, travel, not buy nice furniture , not buy boats etc for fear someone else may not be able to and their feelings may be hurt or they may feel bad? That is ridiculous . It reaks of " everyone gets a trophy " and I HATE THAT!!!
People need to realize that it is OK if someone gets something that they don’t get. It doesn’t define a person or make them worth anything less. That is a fact of life. Sometimes you get something you want, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you do everything possible and still don’t have the outcome you desire.
If living my life in a way that I enjoy makes someone else uncomfortable because I’ve earned it and worked for it makes me a braggart , rude or “cheesy”, then get me some fine wine to go with that cheese . If some school expects me to be a certain way, or look a certain way that is not consistent with who I am as a person, that school comes off my list. My family and my child will wear every spirit wear item ( all at once if I want to), change my avatar every hour if I want to , hang every flag from my porch if I want to. If someone is offended by my good fortune , excitement or "cheesiness ", then I’m sorry. My true friends will celebrate with me , the others feel free to remove me from their list of friends. I have plenty and will find more like me who are not easily offended. Also, if anyone needs to flag this post, feel free.
No switching my avatar to my S’s first choice yet. He still has four schools to hear from. Don’t stop on my account though.
^^ Ditto! Everything at once if you want, my friend
Your jaw will drop if you only saw the stares we got when certain family members found out that DS was applying to selective schools, just applying …
So, you mean, that in order to not ruffle their feathers my child has to “stay in his place,” which if I’m not mistaken has to be below their darling’s place, am I getting that right? WTF ! !
These are people who couldn’t stop talking about the wonderful HS their kids attended, of course 'cause that HS was better than my kid’s HS. I guess, their conclusion was, by extension their kid was better than mine, um?
Twisted thinking if you ask me. Ugly, ugly 
I feel people need to do what they feel is right for them. I will not judge . I will support their decision . Please afford me the same courtesy . And good luck @petrichor11 . Any school would be lucky to have him.
That’s so nice of you! Now I’m going to get all misty…
I think you can change your avatar, wear a tshirt, put a bumper sticker on your volvo-- while still showing support and acknowledging the challenges others are facing- and I think that our community here demonstrates their genuine care, concern, and support in the many positive notes I see each day on this board. As many kids will experience opportunities this week to congratulate others, to receive congratulations, to support others, and to be the recipient of support- it is important for us to continue to model gracious behavior on all fronts.
and on that note-- congratulations to all- those who have made decisions, those holding acceptances, and those awaiting great things.
We actually had that situation with some semi-friends four years ago. The quote was “Calliope’s going to (name of school my son refused to apply to) because we care about her education.” Um…all-righty then.
I don’t see that necessarily with the college thing though. I have one who turned down a lovely scholarship at a nice LAC to go to CC and one going to…well, God only knows where at the moment…so maybe they’re just too confused to say anything!
I’m sure some are asking their heads. And in the South, I do believe the word “bless” would be involved. But that’s alright @petrichor11 I think that it’s great that your child has enough self awareness to know what she needs right now. That speaks volumes about her, but more about the ones who feel the need to judge her decision .
@petrichor11 For us it was a kind of interesting reaction to observe. Mind you, we never talk about what kind of students our kids are. When my DD won the county’s spelling bee contest, we didn’t tell anyone in the family. They found out in the newspaper!
Our position is that our children will go to whatever school they feel better suits them. This past week my DD found out that she got admitted to the #1 magnet school in the county, one of the best in the nation. She is not tripping over herself to go there, though. She likes her current school and her friends. We have no issue with her staying at that school and feel she will get a fine education there as well.
If we cared about prestige and name brand, we will be dragging her behind to the magnet school. A lot of kids at her school applied to that specific school. No one got in, only my DD. All her classmates look at her as if she was out of her mind for turning it down. My DD? Just thinking about it.