@MuggleMom: “my D basically said that most of the talkative kids on the accepted students FB pages and chats are people who scare her and she would never be friends with.”
Oh my goodness, MuggleMom, your daughter is so right! I hope it’s alright if I share that with my daughter because she was on the edge of freaked out, and yet had been drawn in initially. She got out of the chat just as I finished posting here. Could it be the kids are putting on some kind of snarky face and posturing?
She won’t write it off because of that moment, but she’s at a sensitive time (they all are) and that did not help. We will visit soon and hopefully that helps her to guage whether her potential classmates are just as advertised, or if she feels there are plenty of people that she could mesh with.
@readingclaygirl: My daughter has been described as unflappable and mellow, so much so that people think she does not ruffle. So untrue. She truly needs to feel what you’ve found in your fellow accepted students…can you guys hack into the next chat and nice-it-up?
@2files: “…willing to go random.” I really like that. Go Random.
My daughter is not a chit chatter. Some think she is stuck up. She just does not like small talk. Give her a subject that interest her and she is great.
It was a full day yesterday and I feel today is going to be a long one… Daughter had to go to an appointment first and then had to be at the city (3 hr drive) where she was to fly out to Washington D.C to accept her scholarship. We arrived at 10:30 pm, had to get up at 2:30 am to get ready to go to the airport (2 hours prior), her flight was at 5:25 this morning. I am now at work. This is going to be a long day.
I will be getting a little taste of what it will be like for her to be gone. She has been gone longer before, this time is only for a week. It will be a good week for her though.
@Cheeringsection I love your description of the car rides to and from admitted student days. The chance to really listen to your son work though his feelings on this big decision is such a gift. Also, I’ve used the serenity prayer to center myself almost daily.
11 decisions in, 8 yes, 3 no, and 2 more to go. Current top 3 firmly in place, but the money. Oh, the money.
The student FB page for D’s school has been very quiet so far. What’s interesting is the most of those “checking in” are from the west coast. and the Chicago area. I’ll be curious to see what the final make up of the class turns out to be. The one girl D is texting with-her freshman buddy for the upcoming scholars’ weekend, has been very nice.
@petrichor11 good for you and your D for knowing what is needed! My H went that route out of necessity and no one has ever devalued his UW degrees because he started at a community college.
Professors vs. grad students, etc. The best teacher I had in college was a visiting lecturer-not even officially on permanent staff. Second best was a prof. Worst was a full prof-all he did was read from the assigned book and test us on exactly what he read. I never went to class after the first few weeks and got an A. To be honest, I barely remember most of my instructors. Of those who made an impact, it wasn’t important what their title was so much as their ability to get the information across in a meaningful way.
My advice based on having done this last year and doing it again this year (what was I thinking having 2 back to back) is that you need to recognize that the next few months are going to continue to be a roller coaster of emotions and stress and you just have to roll with it.
Watch your child for cues and follow them. I envisioned those deep discussions in the car to and from schools. Didn’t happen. It reminds me a lot of childbirth. You can write up your perfect birth plan, research all the details, but that baby is going to come out the way she wants to come out and you can fight it or you can roll with it and fighting it is only going to bring more pain to everyone.
It’s also like those early days of parenthood when you have to put yourself on the back burner a bit and let the needs of the baby come first even while you are facing major emotional upheaval yourself. So don’t neglect self care but expect to cater to the emotional need of your kid more than you might want to.
My main concern with TAs isn’t their knowledge base, but their ability to teach the material . I realize that the professor is ultimately responsible for the class , but I worry that they may be more focused on their own research . That may not be the case, but just a concern I have .
S is now in four facebook chat groups. He’s posted an intro (which he says has mostly been ignored since so many people do this) and now pretty much just lurks. I think it’s given him some insight into his potential future classmates he would never have gotten, even at an Accepted Students’ Event-- and honestly, one of his schools has slipped in the rankings because of what he’s seen. Not that they’re dreadful people…just very much not his people.
The only problem I had with TAs is that many of mine had very thick accents and English was not their primary language. It was incredibly difficult to understand the lectures, making an already difficult subject, like organic chem., extremely challenging. I also had a prof. who was tops in his field and English was his first language, but he had a speech impediment/lazy enunciation? of some kind. Most of us would have to tape record every lecture and play it back later in order to take notes. Even then, I remember I would have to rewind and playback multiple times to figure out what in the world he was saying.
I’ve been looking at Rate My Prof online reviews of instructors for the department and courses I know my D16 will be taking at her college. Taking with a grain of salt, but very revealing. It’s been helpful to see a prof reportedly does not create study guides (something my D16 will get in her disabilities accommodation), so the plan will be to avoid him. Or, the prof needs accent reduction for the professional setring. Or, no one learns anything. Yikes.
My experience in grad school was that the professors at the larger research oriented university were often the ones who had little interest in, and were not evaluated on, the quality of their teaching. Had it not been for the TA’s in some of those courses I would have been pretty lost.
" My daughter has been described as unflappable and mellow, so much so that people think she does not ruffle. So untrue. " @Waiting2exhale This is my girl to a T. OMG. Maybe we have twins. Please share with her my D’s experience. We are certainly having a tough time right now. Sleep deprivation. Crazy FB boards, and requests for MeetUps (she says these people are total strangers, why on earth would they want to meet up anywhere but at an accepted student’s day), and finally understanding what mom has been saying all along… that she’s free to apply where ever she wants, but when it comes down to it, dollar signs are going to be very important in the decision process. Put all that together, and I am seeing tears for the first time since 5th grade. My heart hurts watching this.
Want to feel better? Go read the Parents of HS Class of 2015 recent posts. Not many, but it’s a glimpse of the future for our stressed out kids/families. Things are going well, pretty much. The promise of smooth sailing!
I am not sure why I never noticed this, but by reading the different college forums reading and or waiting on results, I have been able to see what type of students and the “vibe” of what is to come at some of these schools. My daughter noticed it first and said those schools totally turned her off where all the students do is argue. You can go to some and it is such a friendly atmosphere - totally different. The facebook groups do the same thing.
Just got an email saying that I was selected for the Allbritton Fellowship at Wesleyan University, which gives me the chance to study with certain professors and a $5000 stipend to complete a project relating to civic engagement and public life!
