Tomorrow is such an emotional day. Like everyone else we are waiting for the Ivys, but it is also the two year anniversary of my mom’s passing.
We are preparing to do our Entrance Counseling (apparently some online training), which is required for D16 to accept her direct unsubsidized student loan for SY16/17.
Learned this: One might want to pay the monthly interest while the student is attending college. Upon graduation (or stopping out), the borrower gets a 6 month grace period in which to pay all the accrued interest. At the and of 6 months, any accrued interest that is still unpaid is capitalized into the principal of the loan/s. (I might be phrasing this awkwardly.) Wild guess: Most students let the accrued unsub loan interest be capitalized?
No calculations yet, but I’m thinking that rather than pay the interest while D16 is in undergrad, we would try to save some scarce funds to help with her intended grad school year, which will require a student loan too. So, I guess her interest will wind up capitalized. She/we are going to be so scr*wed if the Feds kill the Income-Based Loan Repayment and Public Service Loan Forgiveness options. I feel a bit guilty for planning to move her debt into position to be forgiven, but to counter that feeling, I consider the contribution D16 will be making in public service. And we’re choosing the least expensive available route to her becoming a school social worker (LCSW). So, we’re actually being as prudent as possible. I think. I hope.
@Mysonsdad I was just thinking how deeply sad I am that my mom, who passed in 2007, is not here to see how “well” her only grandchild turned out as D16 is poised to “launch.” It really hurts. I think that once DD is in college, I will take some time for myself to focus on griefwork.
And, peace to you.
@Mysonsdad Your son is staying overnight at UCLA tomorrow, that is great. Is this a UCLA organized event like ROHP in UCB ? How did you sign up for that in UCLA ? My son did overnight (ROHP) at UCB few weeks back and he liked it. He had to sign up for that and UCB matched him with a current UCB student.
I found myself walking away from my daughter this evening as she dressed in preparation for a formal event to be held at one of her accepted student’s events out of state so that she would not see my crying.
Watching her standing there, young lady in full swing, young woman in bloom, I told her I wished my mother could see her now, and then I realized that I was going to break into tears, so I turned and walked to my own room.
I wish you peace, @ucbalumnus.
Your hand in mine, @dyiu13 .
Another mom missing her own mom here. I lost my mother a year before I had D, my dad 5 years before that. D has never known any grandparents. You know that all of our moms would be so thrilled and so proud of their grandkids! They’d be bragging all over the place and showing those grad and prom photos to anyone who stood still long enough to look…and our fathers would be rolling their eyes, but secretly just as super proud.
Here’s to our parents who are gone and to our kids that we are about to launch, tears and all.
@mysonsdad: I see I referenced another poster, and not you in my last post. Sorry, still a little misty eyed.
I wish you peace, @mysonsdad.
Whaa. (Now you’ve gone and done it.) :((
@indsfolax, he is staying with some friends of his who live in the dorms at UCLA. He does have an overnight visit coming up on the 14-16.
@dyiu13, my dad passed away in 2007. I feel the same way you do. My S ended up being so much like my dad I just wish they were both here.
@sseamom, great post.
@waitingtoexhale, thank you.
I am looking at flights for S & I depending on what happens tomorrow. Looks like about $700 for two round trip to back east. Not to bad.
@Waiting2exhale @Undercovermom1 Thank you!
It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m all ready for work. I even took more care with the makeup today. Now you guys have me all teary eyed and my makeup is running. No fair!
Although not a club I would ever join voluntarily, my children are also part of the No Grandparents Club. All four of the grandparents passed away before the birth of my children. While inside I knew that they would be missing out on many experiences , it didn’t really sink in until my oldest came home at 4 years old and said" Mom, what’s a Grandma and Grandpa ?" When I told him that they were my parents and my husband’s parents, he said " Do I have any?" I said that his grandparents were in heaven , he said “OK” and seemed fine with the clarification. I , on the other hand, was not and burst into tears when he walked out of the room. I spent the next years sending notes into elementary school explaining why my children didn’t have much to add to the discussion when they had Grandparents Day. I didn’t think much about it anymore until my youngest was about 7 and he said " I wish I had grandparents. My friends always get lots more presents than me on Christmas and birthday" Talk about a teaching moment. At that point, I vowed to make it one of my missions in life to be more that the " gift giver Grandmom" if I’m ever blessed enough to have grandchildren. It’s a hard group to be in, but I’m in good company with everyone here whose lost their parents. So sorry @Mysonsdad and @sseamom.
Great post @sseamom . And so sorry @livinginLA . I should’ve posted make up " spoiler alert"
Great posts, thank you all for the memories shared.
Here’s to all of you, on this day:
Look to this day:
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of achievement
Are but experiences of time.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision;
And today well-lived, makes
Yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day;
Such is the salutation to the ever-new dawn!
Just remember, Ivies ain’t all that and less than 1% college seats are part of top 20 in USNWR rankings. The financial aid system forces many middle class families to forgo admissions at some of these schools because they are expected to give up food and shelter in order to pay tuition.
Good luck.
So glad not to be waiting on ivies. Many of my DC’s classmates are going to be mess today.
@texaspg, here is what we are thinking. Some of the Ivys S applied to will be tuition free for us. That still leaves housing, meals and transportationn which will cost us more than it will if he goes to UCLA. That means debt. We are thinking, go to UCLA, graduate debt free and maybe in 3 years, work a few years and hit the Ivys up for grad school. The only problem is, how does he pass up an Ivy if he gets in (provided he does)?
Last night S and I had a long talk about his childhood and him growing up and everything he did that led up to decisions today.
One of my D friends was wait listed to all but 2 of her schools. She is devastated to say the least. And she is a great student and wonderful person. Hopefully something comes her way soon.
Good luck to all those waiting on Ivies. We are not, but I remember the emotions from DDs year.
DS was waitlisted at Reach University yesterday. (Which is fine because it would have been a terrible fit). He has a strong first choice but will be revisiting his number 2 choice just to be sure.
Get all of your web based work done now before the interwebs implode at 5:00 p.m. today.
Good luck and a wish for the best possible outcomes to all of those waiting for decisions today.