That stinks. I would hope she can focus on the positives of this school whiskey figuring out why so much negativity is coming at her. Is this a prestige thing?
^^Whatās going on with the whiskey? Can I have some?
I donāt think she can focus, and it is concerning me. Yes! I do believe it is a prestige thing, but she has wanted nothing more than to see this campus, meet the kids there and imagine herself in this place. She had a wonderful interaction with some currently enrolled students by chance at an airport last summer and they left her practically floating on air.
I would definitely attribute it to the lure of the prestige. No one seems to be talking to her about what they love about the university where they are.
I will know more tomorrow, but Iām a little unsettled now that she has shared this with us.
Wishing the best for your D @BeeDAre
S is home from UCLA and is so excited. He has a best friend that he has known forever and comes from a broken family and lives with his alcoholic mother. As S has been busy writing essays and preparing for college his friend has been dropping in and out of school. Because S has been so busy the friend is no longer talking to S because he thinks he has been ignoring him on purpose. S told me that recently he went to his friendās house to tell him he got into UCLA and the friend said he didnāt care and asked S to leave. Itās sad, but I told S years ago that this would eventually happen.
@waitingtoexhale That is very odd. So both the accepted students and the current students are speaking against the college? Is that what she is hearing?
Back from a visit to Whitmanā¦we may (emphasis on May) have a winner. We helped saved ducklings!
That is sad, @Mysonsdad. Time may bring clarity to the young man (the friend) as he realizes that your son, in moving forward, was not simultaneously leaving your son by the wayside.
If they are sensitive to the otherās hearts I believe friendship will bring them back together again.
Has your son wanted to make a second pass at his friend, and let him know that he understands things have been tumultuous, but that heād like to hear whatās going on in the young manās life as well? Maybe that approach would help things.
I guess I meant WHILE? Whiskey sound good too.
@LKnomad: Yes, that is what she is hearing. Have you ever heard of such a thing? It is strange to me, and outside of the experience my oldest had.
Did I miss something? What is the ducklings reference?
Congratulations on Whitman! (I think) Is that a thumbs up from both of you?
@Waiting2exhale As long as sheās safe, take a deep breath , and wait to process all of this when you can speak to her in person. She may just be with a bunch of sour grapes . When she gets home , talk to her about how the rest of the day went. Sometimes once someone says something negative, other people need to pile on. When does she come home?
@waitingtoexhale a major part of our visit to Whitman involved helping to save ducklings! We were just walking buy and a group of students were trying to help baby ducklings that had gotten stuck under a car and couldnāt jump the curb. Their mama left with her other babies and left them alone peeping. The kids were in a panic trying to get the ducklings back to their mom. That was the end of our day at Whitman and it gave my son a chance to really meet real students and ask real questions. Watching these kids run into the street to stop traffic to keep the mother and baby ducks safe, kind of brought home the personality of the school. It added a nice touch. Still waiting on Reed results, but my son says that it would take a lot to knock Whitman from the top of his list now.
@waitingtoexhale - it does sounds like you need to have a moment to talk to her and find out what happened. Had she already made the decision to attend this school? Has this turned her off? Could there be some jealousy toward her from other kids there?
I went and did some reading about the ducks. What a fabulous history and story of the college and the ducks. It makes one smile. Hereās to you and your son for saving the ducklings. That makes him a true Whitman College student at heart now, you know.
@carolinamom2boys, @LKnomad: Thank you for your words. She will return home tomorrow and probably go off by herself. She does that after she has visited with friends, and has traveled. It is her way. So I will have to wait until she is ready to talk about it if it has truly upset her, and sat on her brain.
I really donāt know what to think about how, or why, students hosting and seeking to have you join them at their home school would run you off. Even with other options before her, she would love to know all there is to know about where she is visiting, and would not (I hope) offer up the name of another school in some sort of trump card manner. She was soo excited to go to that campus.
I will see how she feels, and what she has processed, by weekās end, hopefully.
18525, @Mysonsdad:
Wrote something in that last post incorrectly, as you may have seen.
āā¦that he was not simultaneously leaving [the friend] by the wayside.ā
D went to Caltech 4 years ago and most of the students said you want to come here? WHY?
I guess her other option was MIT @texaspg ? 
Cal tech was in the running because she had a combined admission at UCSD medical school. So theoretically it trumped MIT in the parentsā mind. However, the students were really bad hosts discouraging the admitted students by telling them it is way too much work.
So sorry the visit is not going well @Waiting2exhale. DS had a less than wonderful experience with some of the other admitted students at the honors weekend for his chosen school. I think it made him seriously pause about committing to the school but he loved it so otherwise that he chose to commit to the school but will see how first semester goes with honors before he decides to pursue an Honors diploma. It took him a week to reach that compromise in his own mind but we had to talk him through it. Once he understood that not all of those students would matriculate there (and hopefully not the ones he found most annoying) he was okay with moving forward. Those sour apples could very well end up elsewhere.
@Mysonsdad I have lost friendships over the years and so have my kids. Itās always difficult and on occasion some of them return but never in the same way. It sounds like this young man is feeling left behind and due to his circumstances canāt find his own way. Hopefully this is just a down turn of the relationship and not the end.
We have declined all schools and scholarships where DS will not be attending. I am amazed at how difficult this has been at some schools. I am very glad he will not be attending a school where something that should be relatively simple, just is not. If they cannot find a way to easily communicate on something as basic as attendance how could we expect good communication on other, more complicated matters? Just curious, when you have declined, how honest have you been as to why?
All of our schools except one sent letters in the acceptance the package that asked what school you would be attending. The other school sent you to a link on the Internet with a survey to complete. My son was completely honest @Cheeringsection .