50 is baseball weather here!!! Of course, we all have hot chocolate when we get home.
S read an article a couple of years ago about cognitive development and newer neuroscience research that suggests that adolescent brains arenât fully formed at 16 by a long shot, and that even at 18-20, theyâre not fully-equipped to make snap judgments well. For him, that research is enough for him to delay driving a bit longer. His gf learned to drive and got her license last summer, after HS graduation, and I expect thatâs the path heâll take, too. If he does choose the one college where sophomores and above can have cars, heâll probably take ours down there then. The school is really isolated - itâs his biggest concern about going there. Without needing to schlep him around up here, I can live in SF without a car pretty ridiculously easily.
I think for him, thatâs part of it, too. The role that cars play really differs depending on where you are. Nobody we know in NYC has one, and a few friends there never bothered to learn to drive. In SF, many of his friends donât drive yet. Hardly any have cars, as having a car means needing to park a car, and well⊠yeah. Thatâs not an easy thing here.
@Mrs. Pepper: âDh thinks if she doesnât go to check it out, she will always wonder and possibly resent that we didnât let her see it.â
This can be a critical consideration, Mrs. Pepper, as long as the cost comparisons, as has been noted, and due diligence into the programs, curriculum and undergraduate opportunities are also done.
@PA2008: You want to know what most upset me when I would sit and listen to reps discuss Columbia University with parents who had raised their children thousands of miles from NYC? They would tout that the university is, essentially, the largest police precinct in NYC. This really comforted other parents in the room. I found it to be rooted in dog whistle politics, but I think that I have probably been the only parent in the room to have that impression.
DS also waited to get his license until he was 17+. Now he drives most everywhere around town (to & from school/ to friends, etc.) but, not much out of town.
@Cheeringsection it was a beautiful sunny mid 80* day here for the opening of baseball season! =D>
@Mrspepper I have commented a couple times, but really just continued to read everyoneâs ideas and opinions. If it was me, I would get an airline ticket and go withâŠand bite my tongue and absorb all info presented, along with all impressions garnered from the visit. Being present (but non-judgemental) can make the world of difference (either to sway the kid or help sway the parent)âŠplease go to the visit with your husband and your child (glass of wine mandatory after said visit!!!).
After mandatory wineâŠmassage AND anesthesia is mandatory as well!!!
A couple things⊠My S has been driving since the day he turned 16! My boys go to a school that is 30 mins away. They actually have a bus that picks up at a local Catholic elementary school and the cost is minimal, but most junior and up boys want to drive on their own.
@Mrspepper I went to USC in the 80âs. Of course a lot has changed, but if anything I get the impression the area has vastly improved since the 80âs. A lot of people seemed concerned about my safety, but I never felt unsafe. Even late at night, there were always tons of people around. On weekend late nights, my friends and I used the campus shuttle system to get around. While I definitely understand the confusion at a suddenly change of heart, which is also what happened at our house, I think it is important to let the decision be their own - within the financial constraints. Iâve been open about the fact that this has been hard for me to put into practice, but fast forwarding two months since his change of heart, I can truly say things have worked out really well and I am much more at peace with the path he is choosing. Good luck to you guys.
For those going to CPW at MIT: If your kids (and/or you) see the Next ACT musical, Seussical, would you let me know how it is, please?
Also, my So Cal oldest son is graduating from MIT, and even in its worst winter, he was ok with it. Yeah, he probably got tired of the snow, but it was actually the summer humidity that was the worst thing for him.
For those looking for a warm clothes in CA, Uniqlo is have huge sale. Check your local malls.
My S doesnât care about getting his license either. My older two also waited a long time. I remember beating it down to the dmv the day I turned 16.
Houston will be at 85 F tomorrow.
@Mrspepper - First I loved Blueâs Clues when my kids were small, so I am a fan of your avatar. My D interviewed for a scholarship at USC so she and I flew across the country from FL for a few days in L.A. I will admit that while it has been her dream school for some time, it always made me a tad nervous. I went out there with a chip on my shoulder for sure. Well, I loved it. We took the neighborhood tour, I drove a rental car in and out on my own every day at all hours as I was staying with friends outside of L.A., and they had a very impressive safety presentation for the parents. Every professor, dean, admissions person and administrator I met loved the school and made both of us feel welcome. The number of employees whose own children attend USC was astounding. (Tuition deal?? I have no idea, really.) The new light rail type train that goes to and from the beach is certainly a bonus, as is the new dormitory village that will open in 2017, complete with a Target and a Trader Joeâs on site. I can certainly understand your concerns regarding the costs. It is a ton of money and if your child can go elsewhere for a more financially feasible option, more power to her. For us, USC is still very much in play and visiting there was really a huge factor for my D. And honestly for me too because I had all of the same concerns you have. As parents we are definitely walking a very fine line at my house trying to read my Dâs mind and ascertain how and why she is considering her final choices - so I know how you are feeling.
@madredos Thanks for the info. Do you mind me asking what size community and school your DD has grown up in? Just curious if city or country girl? Did you get to see the off-campus housing and that area? I am assuming from what I read that it is not inside the gates? I am understanding that most sophomores will have to live off campus. Will that change with the new dorm you mentioned or is the new village replacing old freshman dorms?
We live in south Florida and my D takes a train every day to and from school. She is a city girl. The new dorm village will definitely enable students to live on campus longer. We were told it is housing for existing students and they will not increase enrollment. Same numbers, more beds. And USC owns a lot of âoff campusâ housing which is protected by USC police, LAPD, and private security guards. Hope this helps.
@Mrspepper, I have read your comments regarding your concerns for your DâŠjust want to say as a CA resident (and even as a Cal grad, who have traditionally been mortal enemies of the Trojans!), that you should not be overly worried about safety at USC. We have many kids at our high school who attend there every year, and I never hear anything but great things (except about the cost, lol). There could be many other reasons you are hesitant for your daughter to be in CA or to go there, but I am sure if nothing else, it would be a wonderful opportunity for herâŠone that of course, has to be weighed against her other options.
Even though two of the most terrifying periods of my life were teaching my two teens to drive, I do think it is really important for them to learn and not be afraid of it early on. My mother did not learn to drive until her early 20s, and she has always been a hesitant and therefore, somewhat dangerous, driver. Not everyone will be the same of course, but that is something I thought it was important for my kids to learn by 16-17, even if most of their driving is just around town and to school.
All three of my kids took driverâs ed at 16, but the older 2 did not get their licenses until they were 18/19. Itâs just not necessary here where there is public transportation. The youngest-the 2016 kid-will probably get hers this summer-she is working on getting practice hours in. But sheâll be going to college in another big city with public transportation, so she wonât get to do much driving.We wonât be giving her a car. Most kids here donât have cars, and certainly donât bring them to college, even when going to schools where âeveryoneâ drives. Iâve never once thought that it was some kind of moral failing for a kid to take their time driving. I know many adults in good jobs here who donât even drive!
@Waiting2exhale I understand exactly what youâre saying about the college police forces. Also, thank you for sharing more about your Dâs experience on her visit. D spent a week at a directional in WA last summer and was told by one of the current students to only apply there if she would be happy waiting until going home to Seattle to get her hair done, eat collard greens, or go to church. She did not apply there, in part because of that talk. Good luck to your D.
Waitlisted at Reed. Sheâs taking it fairly well, although somehow that means all her frustration is being directed towards a school project sheâs working on at the moment.
I think sheâs going to go ahead and accept a spot on the waiting list. It will give her a chance to get a recommendation from a teacher who sheâs really connected with (and didnât have before this year, so she didnât ask him earlier). Plus she can submit a couple more pieces to add to her application that are specific to Reed.
In the mean time, weâre moving forward with Evergreen and just paid our housing deposit, plus sheâll go up there to yet another admitted students even this weekend. So really, full steam ahead towards Evergreen, and thereâs a very small chance weâll be pleasantly surprised at some point down the road.
@Zelanie I am so sorry to hear about Reed. Did she get the letter in the mail. Is that how it worked? It seems like a long time to force kids to wait to hear they have been waitlisted or rejected. We are still waiting, and waiting, and waitingâŠ
@Mrspepper We were also there for the USC scholarship event, and like @madredos I went with preconceived notions. After the visit, my fears were put to rest. The security presentation they gave was outstanding, and what really reassured me was taking the neighborhood bus tour. The surrounding areas were not at all like what I imagined. Many of the off campus housing options are right across the street, and the village they are building with Trader Joes and Target will be a great resource. I liked hearing about their student run car service which gives students free rides at night within a certain radius around campus. If the request queue is 15 min or longer, it automatically rolls over to Uber, and the school picks up the bill. My son has female friends attending there, whom he saw at the event, and neither one expressed any concerns about safety. My son, my husband, and I left very impressed by what USC has to offer its students.
@LKnomad it came via USPS letter today with some information on what to do next. It sounds like you S will have a box very soon! Hoping that you get the good news tomorrow (even if you go with Whitman).