Sorry about the wait list @Zelanie but congratulations on Evergreen. It is good to move forward with what sounds like a good choice.
Glad to hear that my S16 is not the only one who doesnāt feel ready to drive! He has had his permit for 1.5 years and has gotten in the car (with a lot of persuasion) about 5-6 times. My D18 will be getting her permit as soon as she can (in May) and will likely get her license as soon as she turns 17 next year.
@Hope2achieve Is your D a nursing major? My S16 will major in nursing too.
@GoldenWest @happymochi Thanks for your comments. I appreciate that you are trying to reassure me. If I could see any reasons why it trumps her EA school for her major, for undergrad experience, etc. I could be more open. She is not doing the work to research, my DH is not either and will probably think the tour is great, and CA grandma will be cheering on the sidelines. Heās putting it all in her hands to decide despite the fact that she has not been invested in the process for the last 2 years. This truly worries me. Basing her decision on a couple hour tour without looking at the practical realities and doing her homework is not wise. And part of the reality is that when sheās sick or homesick, there is really nothing I can do. If she has mono or strep I could make a 4 hour drive to at least check in. Every trip home requires a day of travel with the real possibilty of getting stuck in an airport, missing a flight etc. or having it cancelled. Moving, sclepping, etc requires a several day event with flights, hotels to be arranged etc. I know these are obvious points but if there are 2 schools you like and could see yourself at, isnt it reasonable to look at the costs of time and effort and impact it will have on you and the rest of the family?
@Mrspepper Itās becomes more clear with every post that you will be unable to consider USC as a potential school for your daughter . Thatās not a judgement, itās an observation . Have you thought about how to proceed if she indeed chooses USC?
@carolinamom2boys Yes. But I think I need to take a break from thinking about it today. Hope everyone has a great Tuesday and that the sun is shining wherever you are!
There is no public transportation where we live so driving is essential. D got her license as soon as she could. S19 is already begging to drive even though he is still many months away from being old enough to get a permit. āI can do it Mom, I look older than my age, no one will pull me over.ā Seriously. This is what Iām getting in my house.
We had about 6 inches of snow yesterday and today is in the 20ās and windy. School wasnāt cancelled because it didnāt start until after the buses started rolling. According to my D, many of her friends got in accidents and went off the road. It was particularly bad mid afternoon when school was getting out and all these young drivers were heading home.
I have one child who got her license on her 16th birthday and one who didnāt drive for the first 2.5 years she had her permit. Three months before her 18th birthday she was ready, and she drove everyday after that. I do think that they change and mature almost overnight and what they want/need one week can be different the next. Unfortunately we as parents have no control over the process and usually donāt see the changes coming. It is so difficult to let go, and yet so rewarding to see them making their own way in the world.
D got her DL in October and turned 17 this past March. She doesnāt drive a lot, but it is certainly useful. S19 is chomping at the bit. I have a friend whose DD took 3 lessons and now wants nothing to do with driving (for the time being). Says the responsibility is too great for her at this time.
D16 got her license about 16 months after she got her permit. She is a good driver. D13 who is now 21 does not have her license nor is she interested. No need to drive as she goes to college in Boston.
@Undercovermom1 My S16 doesnāt believe teenagers should be trusted with a 2 ton piece of machinery. Heās been an EMS volunteer for 1.5 years and says āheās seen thingsā.
Iāve stopped pushing since he does not need a car in college. I wanted him to at least have a government issued ID so I got him a Passport Card.
D took her first driving test the first day possible but failed ā her only āF.ā 
The local DMV is tough for the driving tests. We know some families that have taken day trips to outer islands for their kidās driving tests (drive a square mile out in the pineapple fields - yay, you passed). Itās scary to think of those kids coming back and driving in Honolulu.
Oh, and @Mrspepper Iāve been following your thought process with sadness but no worthwhile advice. I think what would bug me the most is my husband not realizing the need to be a united front with our child for such an important decision. We donāt always agree on whatās best for our kids, but we try to figure that out behind closed doors. Of course, both of us have āgone rougeā and let the kids do things the other would not. It does leave a riff, and I understand your being upset over that fact. I wish you clarity and cohesion with your family moving forward.
@Mrs. Pepper - My daughter, too, has recently been presented with the opportunity to consider a school which came through for her, but which had not been in mental consideration for her. She has accepted the schoolās invitation to visit, and I questioned her on that decision. Her only argument was the ādonāt want to regret anythingā response. Untilā¦ the school stepped up their courtship of her.
I surmise that once they could āseeā that she had begun communicating with their offices, and opening emails, and of course after she accepted their invitation to visit, they took it up a notch.
Something arrived last night with an invitation for her to join a specialized, small group of students who will sit and hear a special presentation from a department head outside of her area of interest, though within the department in which she would any interdisciplinary work. They are delivered a presentation, and then the floor is open to this intimate group of students to make inquiries of the department head.
Though she was tired from the weekendās travels (and the return travels went all wrong - she fell asleep in the airport at the gate and the plane took off without her; connecting flight cancelled ) she spent hours last evening poring over this schoolās website and department offerings. Looking at her face I could tell she was at a point of trying to peel back the layers of what sheād āheardā about this place, and look for the substance of what she could find is right for her.
@Mrs. Pepper, are you looking for this type of engagement from your daughter? Would it ease your mind?
I have to say I am proud of her for digging in, though at this late date. I do wish she had taken the possibility of acceptance to this university more seriously from the outset, and imagined herself there.
I wish you the best during this period as you and your family guide your daughter through the selection process.
You asked a question: what type of school community, and community, has [our] child been raised in? I will tell about my kid.
My child has been raised in small cities and small towns, and had a very small middle-12th grade campus experience. She has been one of the only Black children on a campus with an almost exclusively White student population, at one time was the only Black kid in the grade, and our family so scarcely saw other Black families that we felt like we were counting them when we did. She only wants to be in or near a large city. She has taken taxis with me, but never been in an Uber (or the like) vehicle, has been on a subway car maybe three times in her life, and did not own a smartphone until 12th grade. I think she has walked about a mile away from home at the most with friends, has never been to a concert, and does have a driverās license.
Again, I wish you the best.
Iām sad right now. One of the student council advisors who is also an English teacher has cancer. Sheās out for the next 6-8 weeks(we have 10 left) and she has 3 kids under 10. Itās sad.
@RyanG1207 yes she will be studying nursing and wants to move on to a NP after her RN degree.
Your community has certainly had its share of hardship over the past few weeks. So sad. Hopefully itās early and treatable.
Thank you @carolinamom2boys I hope so too
@readingclaygirl That is sad but hopefully treatment will be successful. I will keep her in my thoughts for you.
@readingclaygirl: My thoughts are with your teacher, her family, and your school community. Divulging such personal health details to the school community must have been one the teacher and her family thought long and hard about, and it is a sign of their need to know that their larger āfamilyā is extending warm thoughts and prayers. It is a way for the teacher and her family to make known to the school community that there may be more caring and contact that is need from the school community as time goes forward. It is a sign of trust.
I hope her treatment and care are successful, and will keep her in my thoughts.
Hugs @readingclaygirl. I am sorry for this news. I hope her treatment is successful and that the community support is comforting to her and her family.