Woohoo! Congrats @glido! <:-P <:-P <:-P
I did end up buying a small luggage set for DD - a screaming deal this weekend - but I also like the idea of a weekender/duffel bag. I guess we will see what kind of space there is in the room, and bring it back with us if there is no place to put it.
Her birthday is near Christmas, so maybe that can be her birthday present.
The last time I bought her any kind of suitcase was for her 8th grade trip, and that was a small one with flowers on it from Wal-Mart, so I guess she was due. I’ll use it now, lol - I’m not that picky 
I have been trying to practice giving DD space. I still insist getting a text when she arrives and leaves somewhere, but I don’t bug her on how long she will be. The other day she met a friend at Panera - see, the addiction is real! - and I didn’t ask her how much longer she would be even as it went on two hours. Lucky for me she texted just about the time I was waffling and said she was on the way home.
The suitcases will always be useful. I just like the giant dufflebags for bedding, pillows and other stuff like fans, lights, hangers, etc - as well as for the ease of storage. She will also use the suitcases (probably when she brings 5 weeks worth of clothes home for winterbreak). Somehow, they use it all! I am sure she will love having her own luggage.
I found a luggage set from Waverly that includes a large zippered tote that will be great for weekend trips. (Very girly, FYI–has a makeup bag, too! ; ) D borrows my zippered tote frequently and loves it. Now I can have mine back. 
H and I have also been experimenting with giving D more freedom. Last weekend, D and three of her friends asked if they could make a last-minute road trip to another city two hours away, at night, to watch a football game. We said yes after only a few questions. They all went and had a great time together. I was a bit nervous, but I figure as D will likely be moving to another country in a few months, I need to learn to deal with it!
@ShrimpBurrito we’ve also been loosening up the reins. But my poor D, my H would have reviewed with her that she has her inflate-a-tire, air compressor, jumper cables, quart of oil, and full tank, as well as having her first aid kit in the car, and then he would have reviewed with her the safety protocol for big public venues (pick a meeting place in advance, search 2 escape routes as you’re locating your seats, etc), and then he’d give her $50 emergency cash and ensure she has a credit card. I’m just imagining what safety items he’s going to ensure she has for college. Definitely a well-stocked first aid kit. We also have these little canisters by evacu8 that have 1 smoke hood each, and depending on the dorm room, I could see him buying her an emergency escape ladder to keep under her bed. And I’m actually a little surprised he hasn’t signed her up for a short self-protection class. Maybe that’s coming in the next couple of months.
@ShrimpBurrito We tried to follow the once a week phone call rule with our older son. We’ve found it really depends on what is going on how frequently we talk. When he is in the process of something like signing a lease, declaring a major, applying for certain programs or jobs, we hear from him more frequently.
We text a lot. He tends to text us when he gets a test score back to brag or for moral support. The first two times he registered, he showed us his schedule because he was nervous he would waste a class and advising is not robust at his university. He asked for help finding wintermester programs and summer school programs. A lot of it is concern about wasting time or money in the wrong classes.
Pictures of the dogs are texted to him at least weekly and get a response 95% of the time.
We have a tracker on his phone and have since he started driving. We don’t use it often but do when he is not responding to texts. It gives us peace of mind to see he is at the library or the dining hall or class and will reply when he gets a chance.
My younger son has required less attention from us in high school than his brother. He doesn’t enjoy discussing “what if’s” or pros and cons the way his brother does. I expect that he’ll be the one we rarely hear from next year. He does bounce things off his brother so if I need proof of life, I know how to get it.
If you have not seen this thread yet on the main parent’s page, it has a lot of good ideas for things to buy and things to do in the coming months.
In particular, if your student is 18 and has never gone to the doctor, dentist, eye doctor, or pharmacy by themselves, this is a good time to do that. Those of us with kids with later birthdays are out of luck on that one.
Had a great Thanksgiving. Went on a mini vacation and the whole family ran a 5k where we went. S18 won the race and got a new course record, so that was fun!
We have our kids lead at the doctor/dentist/DMV starting at 14 to get them ready for leaving. Including filling out family history forms so they start to learn the answers to those questions.
Christmas present this year is a season pass to a local ski/snowboard mountain.
As for communication, when I went to college I emailed a couple times here and there and called once in a blue moon. I’m not expecting weekly communication. As long as he responds when I get in touch, that will be enough.
He has a lot of freedom now and even though we have high expectations, we haven’t stopped him from going on weeklong backpacking trips since age 12 and traveling by himself to summer programs across the country. He’s very self-sufficient and while I will miss him, I don’t expect or require constant contact.
I was surprised that some of his friends’ parents wouldn’t allow their seniors to go on an overnight camping trip they all wanted to do together this past summer. Several of them said they could do it the summer after freshman year of college! Not even after senior year! Those parents are going to have such a hard time adjusting to not being there for every decision their kids make next year.
It depends on the kid. I would be fine with my D18 doing this, but not some of her brothers. That extra year of two of maturation and careful guidance makes a lot of difference for some children.
A lot depends on the family expectations too. My mom still expects to hear from her kids (in their 40s and 50s) once a week. My in laws are the same. It does not feel unusual to us. But we certainly know families who talk less.
By senior year, we felt that it was better to agree to things like the camping trip. If something went “wrong” it was in a situation where we were still aware of what was going on and closer to the situation than the next year when we might not even know about it at all.
Oh these decisions are so tough and depend so much on the individual kid and his/her friends. I worry about kids whose parents are very restrictive and what will happen the minute they get to college. From my HS, we had a couple of girls go wild once they got out of their cautious parents’ houses - one girl get pregnant and another flunk out due to excessive partying. @gettingschooled , I think your camping experiences clearly differed from mine. 
For me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with camping because I’d assume there would be no adult around and I’d assume there would be drinking, and if someone got into a bad situation, I’d be worried about how quick help could arrive. At least at college there are RAs and other responsible people and presumably help would be readily available. Not like that’s fool-proof. Have you guys seen the statistics on deaths due to excessive drinking? Truly scary.
Congrats to all the new acceptances and scholarship winners! S18 has one Dec 1 and one Jan 1 deadline left. No progress on them this weekend at all and this is tech/show week for the winter musical(he’s in pit band) and dive team starts. Doubt he’ll actually get the Dec 1 app in, but it’s not a top choice, so I’m staying quiet. Would like the Jan 1 turned in before we get to far into holiday season. It’s in his top three, we’ll hear about the other two mid Dec and that will definitely affect how serious he pursues this last one.
Under typical circumstances, I wouldn’t let my teen kids go camping without an adult I knew well.
Even when my D got the concussion she was with two kids who are great kids I’ve known since they were little. I have no worries about them drinking or using drugs or intentionally doing dangerous things. One has a heart of gold but can be silly and impulsive, and he caused the concussion. And neither of them told me D hit her head–not to hide anything but no one realized what had happened hurt her. They just don’t have the maturity.
Something like this happened earlier this year at Lafayette. A freshman was drinking and hit his head. Another kid knew it happened and did not realize it was serious. By the time they figured out something was wrong, it was the next day and it was too late too help him and he died.
This is not to say all kids aren’t mature enough. I’m sure some kids would be fine. There are a couple guy friends of my kids who I I could trust to deal with any situation but I’m not sending D out into the woods overnight with them.
I have also had to go pick up kids when they were in situations where friends ended up doing unsafe things that made them uncomfortable. That would be hard if they were camping.
@gettingschooled what kind of tracker do you have on your son’s phone? I would like to have that on my kids’ phones, is it an app?
(I am not tech savvy!)
@Astro77 not to answer for @gettingschooled, but we have Life360 on our kids phones. It’s a great app and free. They know it’s there and it’s a condition of them having their parent-subsidized iPhones Neither complains about it so they must think it’s an okay trade-off. Not only does it give real-time GPS tracking but it also gives you a two day history of all their locations, on a map with connect-the-dots. Another good feature is the Driver Report, which tells your their top speed on each leg of a trip/errand. We’ve had a few occasions where we’ve called D out for excessive speeding (hers or a friend who’s driving her). All in all it’s been great for peace of mind for us, and they don’t feel like they have to keep in constant touch with their whereabouts. If I need to know, I have it at my fingertips. Ahh technology!
We use find my iphone. It’s rare that we use it to track but since D won’t look at her phone while driving and if it’s taking a while to get home we look to see where she might be.
@MACmiracle Both my wife and I went to Lafayette many moons ago and although it was a great school they was way too much drinking with associated Greek life.
Time have changed and the school is better from an alcohol standpoint. But something to think about at all schools
So many great ideas. I agree that each thing is so child dependent. I would completely trust my D18 to do spread her wings type things (although she hasn’t really asked) but my S21? Mmmm… Jury still out on that one.
We use Find my Friends. Seems to work well for us. Like someone else said; the consequence of having parent-paid devices.
Something I am DEFINITELY not ready for… my friend’s daughter graduated from college and found a real job and MOVED AWAY to another state. I am ok with the college move away (kind of), but “for good”? Nope. I am definitely burying my head in the sand about that one.
@amominaz My oldest is looking overseas for a job. She is interested in SE Asia. That isn’t the easiest for visiting.
For selfish reasons, I keep reminding her of the loans she should pay off first.
I went to Asia and stayed ten years. My H left Europe twenty years ago and never went back except for short visits. I hope our kids don’t take after us.
@Astro77 @Veronica02 We have used several over the years- Find my Friends, Zenley and Life 360. I prefer Life 360 because it has a day or so of history. Our entire family has it- so the kids can find me (and see how fast I am driving). In high school, they started their chores when they could see that we were on the way home. We’ve used different ones because we have had some spotty results over the years but they all seem to be improving. Life 360 also shows what percentage charged the phones are.
It is a really fine line between knowing they are safe and violating their privacy. We have heard good stories and bad. One family we know was able to find their daughter and stalled car on the highway when she was not sure where she was. One was able to see that their kid with depression issues was not going to class. When there was an active shooter on the Texas Tech campus, I found that most parents I knew with kids there used the tracker to locate their kid during the lockdown. But we’ve seen parents who track too much and don’t give their kids any space.