I didn’t know that Princeton historically defers many applicants. I do know Stanford defers very few, yet we knew the inherent risks and the poor odds. We all have to make a call based on many factors. D and I “swung for the fences” and D was rejected. However, I’d take a deferral over rejection any day of week and twice on Tuesdays. Most know the rules and odds before we start and make decisions.
BTW, in Post #10958, @Dolemite posted that his/her D was deferred at Princeton SCEA last year and admitted during RD.
Good Morning! I am ready to come out of the shadow and into the light!
I have only been in the shadow since the weekend. Up to now my friend and I have been each others college process support and while we still are last Thursday her son was accepted ED to Northeastern(we were all so excited as this was so top on his list but what an intense experience those of you are going through ED I get it) so she is in a different phase (though they are sweating out the wait for the financials). Spent last Friday/Saturday sick in bed and started exploring CC which is when I found this thread which was a bit over 700 pages…way to far back for me to go so I started at Thanksgiving and went forward but as quick as I could read there were more posts and more pages ( you are a very active group!). Finally caught up last night so I am ready to join…because I need activity during this time!
Here is a quick snapshot:
D18 has a 3.8 uw/4.6w
All Honors/2 APs & 2 DE ly/ 3 APS & 1 DE this year
SAT Superscore was 1210 (her ouch on the apps)
More EC’s than spots on CA
Has completed 11/12 Apps…last one is being submitted tomorrow
Her first criteria was communications, second away from home. We visited every school she is applying to and 12 others.
Acceptances so far are:
Loyola Chicago
DePaul
Ithaca (Park School…read someone else has a son in here too!)
Hofstra
Merit ranges from $15k-$27K, waiting for one of above four to come in
Cars:
Honda Odyssey 2004 (about to sell because we are buying my dad’s car since he cannot drive anymore)
Toyota Sienna 2007 (D18’s car…gift from aunt when she got new car)
Volvo S80 2011 (our newest in the fleet we bought used 2 years ago)
Just wish I found this forum sooner but since I also have D20 I am happy to be here now!
@MinnieFan Welcome! Did your daughter ever look at Syracuse?
I saw you looked at Ithaca (I am from that area, so a couple family members went there - one for music, one for math/physics). I got in a thousand years ago for communications, but I’m sure they’ve moved on from stone tablets by now. =))
@Minniefan, our S is waiting to hear about need-based aid at Ithaca Park School. The 15K scholarship is nice, but not nearly enough to make it affordable. He needs a grant for at least that much for it to be feasible.
@grandscheme I guess I’m also a Debbie Downer because I agree with you. My S18 applied early to Stanford, in part BECAUSE we knew they didn’t play the deferral game. I think there is a better shot the deferred early action kids get in compared with the kids who will be waitlisted in April (those kids really really need to move on), but I do think a deferral should be treated essentially as a rejection.
I really think it depends on the kid. If your kid would balk at completing additional applications because of holding out hope for a deferred school, then that’s not good. If they have a realistic viewpoint that this is a long shot and moves forward, then that is great. We all know our own kids and their mindsets (and our own!) and what is the best case scenario. Other than a YES, of course - that’s always the best case scenario!
I have a have a very unpopular view of deferrals. Admittedly, its heavily influenced by my own worldview. Both of my kids are very average, very consistent students. No great fluctuations in their grades, their standardized test scores are reflective of their grades etc. So sending in mid-term grades would really not give an AO/AC any new information. They are definitely what you see is what you get kind of candidates. Neither has been in a deferred situation. I would guess they would probably not be likely to receive a deferral because they are so average, it would be a straight up no.
I have always felt that deferrals are vaguely rude. It is sort of like saying;" You’re pretty great, but not as great as these other candidates that we accepted, but definitely better than the ones we rejected! Why don’t you wait around until we can make a clearer choice or until someone we liked better drops out?" or “Yeah, we like kinda like you. You are not our first choice and well, we want to wait around and see if anyone better shows up at the dance. But you know, if no one better comes along then we will dance with you.” I don’t (knowingly) want to be second choice. Obviously no one, professor or student wise, would ever know about the deferred status so it doesn’t really matter; but for me, I would always carry that grain of doubt in my head.
I take it more positively. I see them saying: You are qualified to be here, but we know we are about to get 5 times the number of applicants in RD round and can’t give away all the spots this early. Please know that you have a great application and if we had enough spots we would take you too.
It unfortunately makes the kid feel in limbo because students do get in after being deferred. We’ve known quite a few who get in that way. The best advice is to treat it like rejection and move on - but know that your application was still good enough to put you in the running.
I agree with @stemmmm . Some of these lotto school get more than 30,000 applicants. Of those 30,000, 8,000 can be clearly qualified to attend the school, add to the community and thrive, but there are still only 1900 spots in the freshmen class. It is not worth the time and psychic energy to try to figure out “why she got in and I did not.” Often, there is no true answer to that question. It could have been you that got in, and not her. I view a deferral as a statement that you are clearly a student who would do well here, but we don’t have room for all the qualified students who apply. We are going to throw you into the RD pile.
Has anyone gotten a credit card for their 18 year old yet?
I called our credit union and the choices are a $300 co-signed card (with proof of income from both of us) or a collateral card that freezes your desired amount in her savings account as collateral. All I want is a credit card for her to take to college for books and emergencies. They said they usually don’t add kids as authorized users to adult accounts.
It’s complicated by the fact that I don’t really have much of an income as a freelancer, and she has a very small income from her part-time job. My husband gets a very small pension but neither of us gets SS (yet). We have significant assets at this credit union but that doesn’t matter.
Any thoughts? Or maybe you’ve figured out a way for your older kids to have a card at college? I guess the days of a free tshirt with easy credit are long gone …
@bearcatfan my d18 has a checking account with a debit card in her name. The bank gives free checking/debit for 5 years for students. Her account is linked to my money market checking, so I can transfer money to her to pay for books, etc.
@bearcatfan my daughter has the same as @KAMmom debit card linked to her checking account from summer job and linked to my checking account. I can see her account she can’t see mine
@burghdad Yep, and it’s been nice to be able to see my d15’s account as she’s studying abroad this semester. Sort of proof of life if I haven’t heard from her lately!
@bearcatfan I just added my 21, 17 & 15 year olds to my CapitalOne card as an authorized user. They send a statement every month showing all charges per card, you can set limits, freeze the card, cancel the card if need be, pretty easy. My son that is 21 has been able to get his own BOA card a year ago. Not sure if it helped at all, but that has worked for us.