@VAMom23 I feel this way a little bit but I try to keep it inside! Our state Univ. was both sons second choice and of course some friends/classmates attending. I bet a lot of parents are having similar thoughts.
Our schools get out much later than most of yours (mid-June), so we’ve got a ways to go yet. (Which I am fine with!) S has a senior recital this weekend, and a tournament next weekend (which we’re going to - Mothers’ Day at day 2 of a tournament and then 7 or so hours driving back home! but I do love going to tournaments and will miss seeing him play next year - we may visit for some tournaments - and I’d rather spend Mothers’ Day this year watching him play and riding with him than on my own, pampered or not). AP exams next week and the week after, but fairly low-stress because none of them would get him passed out of a needed class, although any one of two could fill a distribution requirement for him.
Then another tournament (fairly local), prom, a couple of lower key weeks, then a cabaret, travel to the last tournament with this high school team, and graduation.
Then one more tournament this summer with a multi-school team.
NU doesn’t start until late September! So we may are likely taking an overseas trip to visit family before then, after everyone else leaves for college.
I still can’t get past the favorite school that rejected my kid (my H’s alma mater). I’m still mad.
@VAMom23 Yes, I can relate to your feeling as I am in the same boat. While I support the choice my son made, it contrary to the path I thought he was going to take for the last 14 months and I am still adjusting to the decision and hoping for the best. He is excited about his choice, and that is all I wanted as he starts this next chapter of his life.
Not sure any of you are ready for this…I was not. Dad is over and watching tv…this came on just as I sat down to have lunch…I am a puddle.
http://creativity-online.com/work/whirlpool-congrats-parents/54386.
@SnowflakeDogMom thanks for the applause but I took the liberty of that posting that from all of us!
Well said @MinnieFan! It’s been such an amazing ride, we too ended up on an unexpected path to a school we hadn’t considered, wasn’t even on the list until, umm December? :)) Wild ride indeed. Expect the unexpected folks, and you won’t be disappointed!
@VAMom23 oh yes, 1000 times yes, I’ve definitely been where you are. I’m mostly over it now, and I absolutely believe she chose the right school for her. I think it’s hard because we invest so much time and energy researching these schools to find the right fit, the right place, for our kids and we end up, if all goes well, with more than one in the end and we are in love with them all! But they can only go to one, so we have to mourn the loss of the others. It’s inevitable I suppose.
I am only a little sad in that DD’s first choice school did not give her any merit money and we are full pay so her entire college fund will be spent.
We have a deal with our kids that they get any leftovers from the college fund as a small incentive for them to find merit. So DS14 went to a school that gave him 22K merit a year and he will pocket all that money when he graduates. DD on the other hand, will have zero funds left over although we may give her a token amount just to get her started when she graduates.
But she knew this going in and made her choice so I have kept quiet.
My D has 1.5 months of HS to go: senior project due on 5/31, prom on 6/1, senior activities and trips in-between, and finally, graduation on 6/13. Then college preparation with the new student’s orientation on 6/21.
NOT ready for that, @MinnieFan! GAH!
Dang @MinnieFan, a sudden downpour erupted all over my face, like immediately! :(( I’m working really hard to keep those sad feelings in check, and man it is HARD! I nearly burst into tears in the airport this weekend as we were boarding the plane home when I realized this was the last of our college trips together! She and I have travelled together nearly every other weekend since February, and it’s been exhausting, but fun. Sad that it’s done. But excited for her future and happy we got the opportunity to spend that time together. I was talking to my younger D about her mixed emotions about our upcoming move, and said to her the word for the way we’re feeling is “bittersweet,” it’s sometimes a tough mix to handle.
Nearly every other weekend since Feb traveling for college related things?! Wow @1822mom that’s impressive!
Well, some was college related, some was relocation related, but yes, we got a LOT of frequent flyer miles these last few months! :))
No fair @MinnieFan!! I didn’t expect that to hit me as hard as it did. I’m hiding in my office right now, hoping people think my sniffles are from allergies, rather than early onset “oh no my baby is graduating”-itis. :((
Thanks for posting the video @MinnieFan; it’s so true that the kids get the lion’s share of the praise and credit for their amazing accomplishments (and rightly so). I think that we (the parents) are just generally content to play our roles as the people behind the curtain, doing our best to push the right levers and buttons to create opportunities for our kids & we do all of that without seeking praise and credit for ourselves.
So (just like I just experienced while watching the video) when we do get recognized for all of the work we’ve done and the sacrifices we’ve made for our kids, we are woefully unprepared to deal with it - and the tears flow!!!
Last week at a scholarship banquet, the master of ceremonies asked all of the parents in the room to stand-up and be recognized, and the kids gave us all a tremendous round of applause that lasted quite a while. I really didn’t know what to do with myself during that moment & I felt a little awkward standing there, but I was also very touched and will be eternally grateful for that little moment in my life!!
@hopewhite25, @2014novamom, and @VaMom23, yep those pangs of doubt or sadness, or what ifs are normal. In fact, there is a thread called “Commitment Blues” right here on CC addressing this very topic. Our S also had to give up some top choices in the end, and even though there is a bit of letting go that happened when he withdrew his other applications, we are kicking the past to the curb and supporting him with all the pros of his final decision.
@VAmom23 You’re certainly not alone. My D declined my alma mater last week–one that she’s visited w/me at least a half a dozen times growing up for homecoming weekends and reunions and talked about attending since she started HS. A year ago we were wringing our hands whether she’d be accepted. Now she’s excited to attend another great institution that is likely a better fit for her yet I have to admit to feeling some sense of loss.
@MinnieFan, that Whirlpool congratulations video was so sweet, it made me so teary. Thank you. It’s my 2nd kid to graduate, but I still get so teary at every awards ceremony, every musical or honors program. I’m that mom that can’t make it through graduation without tears. At least my kids and their dad don’t give me a hard time about it. They know it’s just how I am. I’m a proud mom. I’ve been like this since DD16 was singing out of tune in her kindergarten musical so why stop now! I don’t know what I’m going to do when the youngest graduates, but at least I have DS21 and DD28 still to go after DD18 leaves the nest!
As for DD18’s next few weeks…3 AP tests next week, her last day of class next Friday May 11 (seniors last day is earlier than the rest of the school which ends May 23), 5 AP tests the following week, graduation May 20, the 2 of us are going to Europe together May 30, and then she has her college orientation when we get back.
I watched the first fifteen seconds of that video and decided NO WAY. Can’t do that right now.
@MinnieFan just watched that Whirlpool ad again…and cried again.
Regarding the pang of sadness or doubt. I am absolutely thrilled that D decided to attend ND, it is the perfect fit for her, I wanted her to pick it, and we both know what an extreme honor it is to attend. But I would by lying if I wasn’t a tiny bit sad (that is not even the right word, maybe more a nostalgic feeling) when she declined her admission to my alma mater Santa Clara–where she would have attended if she would not have been accepted to ND. I just think how lucky she was to have such great choices.
@VAMom23 I know my son made the right choice for him. I am so excited that he is excited about going to college.I didn’t think anything about his second choice until a few days ago. A car in front of me had the emblem on it and it was a bittersweet moment thinking he could have gone there and been happy. Again, I know he made the right choice for him but I so wish the other school was 5 hours closer. As it is he will be 5 hours away.