@homerdog Thank you for sharing your S19’s journey. I like that you put in words some of the thoughts we all have in our heads that make us think “is this a normal thought or am I just plain nuts?” Like you, I’ve learned so much on my first journey through this process (S17) and the latest…and last…with S19.
Hopefully I’m not repeating myself but for me I learned the importance of have a school that is a “highly likely to get into” that is also affordable and that my kid would be happy to attend. And if that school has EA all the better. Getting one of those acceptances relatively early was important to managing the stress of the process. That said, finding those schools takes a lot of work!
@ThinkOn to your point about your kid’s health, my recommendation would be, prior to leaving for school, check with your insurance to see what urgent care/ER facilities closest to the school are covered on your plan. D17 never needed any medical care her freshman year, but she has been sick multiple times this year unfortunately. At one point she called me in the middle of the night her time (3 hr time difference) with severe abdominal pains, I was worried she had appendicitis. Her school’s clinic was closed so I was having to research the nearest ER/urgent care - thankfully I was already up as it was 7am for me. She ended up waiting until school clinic opened, but they didn’t think it was appendicitis and she was feeling better by then. However, she did end up in urgent care that evening where further testing showed she had a UTI. The point of my story is that the school clinics can’t always treat (or are necessarily open depending on the school) a medical issue so research ahead of time the closest/covered place in case your child needs a visit. And make sure they have their insurance card (D forgot hers so I had to take a photo and text it to her).
Don’t be scared @ninakatarina. Sharing, even through this venue, could help you and others who may be going through a similar situation now or in the future. Hugs to you and your family.
I’m sorry, @ninakatarina. I was really hoping he’d be happy with his results, he sounds like such a great kid. I know your heart must be hurting for him right now. Fingers crossed that he discovers there is much to like in one or more of his current options… or maybe there will be something on that list that comes out every year of schools that still have open spots that will appeal to him.
@ninakatarina - Hugs to you and your family. @ThinkOn - Just echoing what @4kids4us said - my D16 was never really sick in HS, but seemed to come down with everything freshman year. :neutral: I had to text her a picture of her insurance card because it was nowhere to be found. Not a big deal, but added to the stress of the moment. The health clinic was very cautious and she did end up at the urgent care (3) times for tests and a chest X-ray. Luckily the facility was close by and in network. Then she came home for the summer with mono.
Also if you don’t have health insurance, or good health insurance, or if a close healthcare place/doctor is not covered by your health insurance, you can get health insurance at most (maybe all) colleges. There is a range of cost for this health insurance, maybe average is $1,500 to 2,000 per year. Some of these college plans are pretty gold plated when compared to the health insurance that many companies have today, including eyeglass, dental, and pharmacy benefits.
@ThinkOn I sent my son to the Dr on his own to prepare him for navigating his healthcare. I sent him to school with a first aid kit and first aid flashcards. When he has had to get OTC meds, he has sent me pictures to see if he’s getting the right meds. I also had to send him back to school waiting for a kidney stone to pass and to manage follow up with a urologist. Another option to look into is to see if your insurance has a telehealth option. That’s a good resource if they can’t get into the health center.
@carolinamom2boys - It’s interesting you mention telehealth because we recently learned that it is now an included benefit in our plan. Your family has used it?
This was an eye opening experience. After talking to some parents from my S school and reading some of the posts here on CC we are fortunate that he got into a few good colleges.
@ninakatarina Hugs to you. Was rooting for your kid. Let him mourn for awhile if that’s what he needs. And work those waitlists- you just never know what can happen there.
On the health insurance topic, if your child is going out of state, make sure they will be covered. Just found out mine is a regional plan that only covers MA, NH and RI. We will have to purchase insurance through the school or investigate other options, an added expense I hadn’t given a lot of thought to! Definitely worth the peace of mind and happy I can plan for it early.
I think the one thing I took away from this process is that the best thing you can do is make sure your kid falls in love with one true rolling admissions safety. My daughter’s first acceptance was into Arcadia, where there was never really a worry she wouldn’t get in. She loves their location, they offered her second choice major, and she was well above their stats. When her acceptance came with a full tuition merit scholarship, an invitation to their honors program, and an invitation to freshman study abroad… well, she fell in love. She still EDd to her number one school, but we all knew even with the ED boost it was a reach for her. She was elated to get in, but honestly, had every other app after Arcadia been a rejection she would have been so happy there. It really took the bite out of the process. I’m trying to emulate that for my younger D but I’m having trouble finding the right schools to pitch. I haven’t been active on the thread for her grad year because her situation is somewhat difficult and different and I’m not as comfortable there- but that means I’m going it without support. I guess for me- and I know I came to this party WAY late- I found this thread pretty supportive… but I guess I could just be blissfully ignorant of not being the right type of parent or having the right type of kid.
@milgymfam I agree with that strategy completely. My older D had a similar experience. We had an early acceptance with great merit at a true safety. She was not able to apply ED to her top choice for several reasons and she spent the year worried that it would work against her. In the end, she got into the top choice but the safety offered so much more – not only in the way of finances but in terms of honors opportunities, location, internship opportunities etc. I asked her to go back and visit the safety one more time just to give it a fair chance and then I would send the deposit to the dream school. She spent the day, sat in on classes, met other kids and ended up choosing it over her “dream” school. Everyone was stunned. It was MUCH lower ranked. Its been amazing. She will be starting a prestigious internship this summer that only takes 2 students from all the hundreds who apply from across the country - many from tippy top schools.People on this website sometimes look down on this school. I feel they are missing out on a hidden gem. Now and then we talk about how lucky she got that she was not able to apply ED.
With D19, we did the same. She had several good offers from rolling and EA schools before Christmas. It made this cycle so much less stressful. If these opportunities still exist 10 years from now when my little one is going through the process, I’ll do the same. But who knows what will be by then!
I really haven’t been on CC much this time around. DS19 is my third to go through this. My take on this for the any 2020 parents is this. There are plenty of colleges out there that give automatic merit aid. If you have a kid with good stats and you can not afford to spend a lot of money on college then look at those colleges. Have your kid visit them. DS was able to get into the following OOS colleges with good merit aid. UA,UAH,Ole Miss,Mississippi State, South Carolina and LSU. While these colleges are all in the south I believe there are probably colleges in other areas that do the same thing. Sure go ahead and apply to some reaches but make sure you have at least a couple good affordable colleges in case the reaches don’t work out.
Congratulations on everyone’s acceptances and hugs to those dealing with less than happy results. Our decision has been made for a couple of weeks now. After committing to Alabama my son received notice that one of his long shots came through and he was named a DuPont Distinguished Scholar at Delaware (full ride plus.)
S19 will be a plane ride away from us but a relatively short distance from literally all of our friends and family on both sides. The health issue has been on my mind as well despite family able to help out in an emergency. But what really eased my mind was learning this week that the campus Hillel organization will deliver homemade Matzo Ball soup to any sick students for free upon parent request! How awesome is that? I haven’t made homemade matzo ball soup for years so that will actually be a step up in TLC for my son.
I also need to explore how our insurance will work on campus, etc. I believe Kaiser also has a Skype/telephone appointment option? Need to do some research…?
@scholarme that definitely puts things in perspective. Glad she is ok!
@ninakatarina I’m sorry about his disappointment. Hopefully once the dust settles, he will remember the reasons he liked his other choices. It has been such a tough experience.
S19 was accepted at Lehigh for CS, which he was extremely excited about after 2 WL and a denial. He also found out he is WL at Tufts but that felt like a partial win after all the rejection. I think his decisions are between UNL (instate), Lehigh, and RIT, with a WL at Carleton that he would love to see turn into an offer. If anyone wants to weigh in on those, I would love to hear. He is feeling very sentimental about leaving his close group of friends at the moment after being focused on the program, regardless of location.
I am so glad this was our last time. S19 is our only high stats kid and this process was so different and more stressful than our other 2, all driven by him.
I look forward to hearing where all of our kids end up.
I’ll agree that having an early acceptance to a school your child loves is a great strategy. But it doesn’t take away the sting of rejection at the top choice. That’s just something you have to deal with.
