I’m sorry to hear about some disappointing news; however, students can be successful where ever they end up. Where you go to college does not define you. I would say we cast a realistic net and focused on schools where S19 would have a shot at the Tuition Exchange benefit from DH’s work. I do go back and forth between this thread and the other 2019 one as son is pretty bright (34 ACT) but has some organizational (EF) issues. We are in Massachusetts and targeted a couple in state ABET schools but not Amherst because of the campus size. His results in no specific order…
Acceptances
UMass Dartmouth - full tuition and fees Commonwealth scholarship; potential for BS/MS and MS would be reduced as I work for the state; Commonwealth Honors Program
UMass Lowell - half tuition and fees Dean’s scholarship; Commonwealth Honors Program
Villanova University - no word on FA but not expecting any; no Tuition Exchange as they have a backlog of apps
George Washington University - $20k merit; no word on TE yet which is 70% off tuition
Quinnipiac University - received TE; Honors
Norwich University - received TE; waiting on Honors app
Clarkson University - received TE; there today to interview for honors
University of New Haven - received TE; Honors
Wentworth Institute of Technology - waiting on TE
Wait List
Lafayette College - will not join WL
Bucknell University - will not join WL
Hey @MAandMEmom I just saw your were at Clarkson today. I might have already told you this but I went to St. Lawrence just down the street and we spent lots of time in Potsdam. I’m sure it has changed a bit in the past 25 years but Maxfields was THE restaurant to go to if you wanted a “fancy” (as fancy as it gets in the north country) night out. I had my first official date with DH there back in 1991. Hope you have a good time!
@MAandMEmom it’s nice that your S has so many good choices, Hopefully you can figure out all of the financials soon and make a decision, Very interesting mix o schools to pick from!!
I think you may have mentioned that @momtogkc! There’s literally nowhere to stay in that area and my “beloved, I’m gonna get the most out of it” 2003 Odyssey fell ill on the Mass Pike last fall after driving through the Adirondacks home from Clarkson – but I’m keeping a positive attitude nonetheless. Thanks @RightCoaster it is a variety of schools to say the least. I guess we need a massive pro and con worksheet!
Hey @momtogkc - have I talked to you about St. Lawrence yet? S19 got a phenomenal financial aid offer from them. It’s really tempting. Well, it’s tempting to me and my ex husband, anyway. Not so much for S19. From what he’s read, he thinks it might be too athletics-oriented for him. I’d love to get him up there for a visit, but I don’t know when or how it’s going to happen. He has so much going on in April, and he is actually on his way back now from accepted student day at HWS (finger lakes). It would be quite a hike back to St. Lawrence from SE Pennsylvania - BUT, we wouldn’t have to cross the Adirondacks, so that’s a plus! Lol.
@rmsdad Congrats on the Dartmouth acceptance!! @ninakatarina sorry about the rejections - it sucks. Let him mourn and vent, and then he can look back at his options and maybe he’ll see them in a different way. Sometimes kids aren’t excited by choices when they have their heart set on something else. After he’s able to put those behind him, he may be able to find things to be excited about in his existing choices. @drewsmom17 Congrats to your S!
My kid’s dream school did not work out, so she said bid farewell to her old dream school both mentally and emotionally, and found out what she loved about the school to which she is now headed. She now could not be more excited about her college choice and cannot wait for next year. She gave the college sweatshirt of the previous dream school away to a friend who is going there next year. Personally, I think that the college to which she is now headed is a much better match for her than her original dream school, so I’m happy about it.
For everybody whose kids weren’t accepted to their reach or even match schools - looking at many threads here and our own school, I can guess this is an insanely competitive year. The silver lining is that many schools considered second or third-tier will have more strong students. I know our state flagship which has acceptance rate around 70% will have some very accomplished students this year from our school. So your kids will be in good company and will still get a great education.
@MAandMEmom Haha - sorry - I get excited when anyone has even heard of those schools! You are right -there is nowhere to stay. I remember my mom asking at the University Inn (in canton) my freshman year if she could book a room for graduation!! They put her on a list and luckily she got a room. We may be going up for reunion this summer and the UInn was already booked so we booked a room in Potsdam but will probably end up in the dorms if we go.
@Trixy34 It is athletics oriented but I was in no way athletic and loved it! I would say it is athletic but laid back - at least when I was there even the athletes found time to have lots of fun. It’s also super outdoorsy but again I was not and did just fine! I never went skiing but did go on maybe 3 hikes my entire 4 years there. We did have fun exploring the area and would sometimes head over to a place called Lampson Falls when it got warm (the last week of school basically!) Lots of people spend at least one summer doing summer school jus for fun, you finally get to enjoy the outdoors in good weather. We used to go to a local tractor mechanic and buy old tractor tire tubes that he would patch then we would float down he Grasse River - not really possible most of the school year!
How did he like Hobart? We took the kids to see it on our way to SLU and we loved it - so beautiful and the town was like NYC compared to Canton!
@MWolf - Thank you. Your advice is right on. It takes all of us a bit of time and effort to change our ideas and direction. For those with only safeties as choices, it is much harder. Dissapointment or hardship is a chance to be mentors to our adult children. My D1 is in her last semester at Amherst and took on a load of work beyond what was doable. Fortunately we were able to coach and support how to navigate before disaster struck. It seems the demands upon our children continue to grow as competition at all levels intensifies. Yes it’s always existed, but the resume of a HS applicant to an Ivy or a top LAC without a hook now seems to have to include ending world hunger to stand out. I take responsibility for passing on my elitist orientation in the guise of encouragement. It shouldn’t have to have come down to getting into an Ivy to “make it all worth it.” That wasn’t my spoken message but perhaps it was unconsciously. I told her each of her achievements can open new doors. Turns out it was true this time, but certainly at the price of a fair amount of stress.
Apparently I’ve missed a lot today…kind of confused.
Anyway @3SailAway - Thanks! Re: my S’s reaction to Vanderbilt, I was still at work so we were just texting. However, I did detect more excitement than usual. We were both kind of in shock. I did have a tearful moment in my office as the waiting has been pretty stressful. @RightCoaster - yes a crazy process and a sort of strange mix of schools for sure! If I had to choose a school on the list where I thought he was least likely to be accepted, it would have been Brown. Not sure how that one happened.
I would temper all to be wary and considerate of everyone’s feelings at this most tender time. Each of us has longed for our children to be recognized as the truly miraculous people that they are. Some have hit the jackpot - some may have had help, some may have had some incredible struggle that lent storyline to some fantastic essays. Some (like my daughter who would rather read spark notes than read many many words) may have struggled to express how glittery and shiny they truly are. But all of those kids with a fear of “where they will end up” has a fantastic parent on this thread. Anyone taking advantage of people’s baggage or neurosis or success or failure or lack of prestigious options or whatever - by calling them out, you show only your own weakness and insecurity. I’m reaching the end of CC being of use to me - I have had 4 kids run the gauntlet now. Your children are miraculous, they will bloom where planted and rise to the opportunities. They are well and alive and I hope you all can take a breath and believe that they are all, B students, reading-challenged, athlete, musical prodigies… they are PERFECT - no stupid college race is going to change that. Be kind, be generous.
@momtogkc - I think he’s really liking Hobart. I think he kind of had his heart set on Vanderbilt, and we just got the wait-list decision 2 nights ago, so it’s still kind of fresh. But, honestly, Hobart really has a lot going on in terms of what he’s looking for in a school. I like that it’s small and seems to have a lot of guidance and support for the students. On the other hand, I’m a little concerned about the social life. He’s used to geeky, multicultural public school kids. Apparently this weekend they were adrift in a sea of white, private school kids from CT. He’s not a partier, either. So hopefully there’s a little bit to do there besides drink. It’s good to know that St. Lawrence would be even more isolated -that’s something to consider because I think my ex would really like him to take a hard look at SL given the price differential. My mom keeps saying, “but there are so many schools up there” but maybe there’s not as much going on in Canton and Pottsdam as we’ve been thinking! Lol.
So much to process here - thinking good thoughts to all. Some random thoughts. First, I am very grateful for all the folks on CC who have really helped me process the best school is the one at which your kiddo fits and will thrive. Second, I am selfishly relieved that today D19 committed to U. of Miami - go ‘canes - no more visits, no more checklists, no more pros/cons. No looking backwards, only forwards. Next to last - we went out to celebrate - D15, D19, and DH. D19, who is a high stats/over-achiever confessed to a bit of envy for the ivy admits - we did not allow an ivy application, as not in budget/would not qualify for needs based - she was reacting to social media and hallway discussions about who got into one of the Ivies. We all jumped down her throat for focusing on the wrong thing and then she confessed that a girl from her high school that was accepted and has completed one semester at Harvard had come back to some school event and was absolutely miserable. Hopefully that girl is just homesick and will learn to love Harvard, and hopefully everyone’s kids will find their way, and find what works for them. Their happiness - and health - have to be top of mind. But - last - I do wish that the entire college system will be thoroughly disrupted like Uber/Lyft disrupted cabs. On the Atlanta morning news, there was a story about some child that had applied to and been accepted to 55 schools - i just groaned - I wish I could make the process less competitive and stressful and more focused on letting the authentic self in each student emerge.
Ooooh @momof2atl U Miami is on my d23’s beginning of a list. She thinks it would be like heaven to sit on the beach with a pile of books as she studies. Congrats!
@momof2atl - Congrats on your decision-great school! I am also grateful that I found CC many years ago when my D16 was starting the process. I have learned so much from so many different people. My S19 is my youngest and CC will soon be in my rear view mirror, but I know that all of these wonderful children will thrive and turn into wonderful adults.
I hope all of you talking about CC being in the rear view mirror still manage at least an occasional drive by to let us all know how you ‘19 kid is doing on their path!
Hope you have a good time!