Well, S19 made it home this weekend! He has all kinds of plans. But he and I spent the morning together talking. Well, he did most of the talking. I listened.
My assessment? Heās doing great, all things considered. AROTC is most definitely his chosen path. Itās what he wants to do and he speaks of his future plans with certainty and maturity. And he is in the right major. Heās managing the academic side just fine.
Socially, he is finding the vastness of Penn State to be challenging. So much so, that he has given some thought to having turned down Susquehanna for PSU. Susquehanna offered everything he wanted just like PSU, only in a smaller environment. AROTC (combined program with Bucknell), excellent English and writing programā¦
You would all be so proud of me. I nodded and kept listening. Never once mentioned how hard is was for me to break up with Susquehanna. I love that freaking school. LOL! Mr. InfiniteWaves and I thought that Susquehanna would be the best place for him. We had concerns about our introvert getting swallowed up at PSU. Not that we ever said that. The choice was S19ās. Did I mention that Susquehanna gave him a scholarship that brought the costs down below PSUās? sigh
Anyway, S19 and I are wired up in the same way. Large environments can be challenging. So I shared with him some tactics that have helped me when it comes to draining things us introverts hate like networking. I work for a ginormous corporation. And Iām better one-on-one than in larger groups. For me, asking one colleague for coffee is better than group situations. I suggested that he start with one or two of his AROTC ābuddiesā who heād like to get to know better and just ask one to go grab something to eat. We all have to eat. And only having to chat with one person at a time makes it easier to get to know them.
I also suggested he do the same with a guy who seems cool from one of his classes. This is hard for my S19. Being the one doing the inviting. But he knows it is important for him to do.
I mention the above just in case it might be helpful for others who are dealing with the same stuff.
Anyway, he just seems soā¦ grown-up about it all??? He wants to tackle the social thing. Because he knows it is a ālife skillā he needs to develop, especially as he wants to be a military officer. The plan right now is keep going at PSU. But he might go visit one of his best friends who is at Susquehanna. Just to seeā¦
@InfiniteWaves What a great report on your S19! The ābignessā of Penn State sounds hard, but your advice on meeting people should help, and the fact that his major and AROTC are a fit will help so much to him feeling āat home.ā
Thought Iād pop back in here to share my situation. Some of you may recall that D19 decided to skip college. While technically she deferred her acceptance (so we could get the deposit back), she knew she wasnāt going to āre-applyā for the following year.
She couldnāt be happier. Yes, seeing her classmates leave for college in August was tough, but she knew she made the right decision. Sheās working part time in a job she absolutely loves, and one that can lead to bigger and better things down the road. She also has a BF who is great to her and great for her.
Iām enjoying seeing her mature and turn into a fine young woman. She knows school is always there if she eventually chooses, but right now itās not something on her radar, nor does it need to be.
I know there are many parents here on CC (not necessarily in this thread) who think college (or a prestigious college) is the be-all and end-all to life, but let me assure you that your kids can be perfectly content adults without it.
@InfiniteWaves loved the update! Iām an introvert, too, so everything you wrote about that rang true. Iām so glad our kids know about extrovert and introvert traits early on. When I was younger, I was always wondering what was wrong with me that I liked being alone so much and felt so drained after big social events, it was such a relief to finally realize thatās just me and thatās okay! Cheers to understanding and accepting ourselves!
I got to see D19 yesterday. UCLA had a club swim meet at Davis so instead of driving from Nor Cal to see her at UCLA Parents Weekend, we had the easier drive to see her at Davis. It was so nice. She seems really happy. Iām so happy sheās had a great social and academic start. She started high school in a new place, only knowing 2 people and that school was a hard social nut to crack especially for a more quiet, academic, non partying, non super teenagery kid. It was not a super welcoming social scene. We hoped whatever college she landed at that sheād meet her people and it really seems like she is. And academically sheās done great on her midterms which gives her the confidence that her academic success pre college wasnāt a fluke ; )
As I mentioned before, college, as life is, will be a variety of highs, lows and in-betweens but itās really nice that it started on a high and that her school truly seems like a fit.
Iāll go see her in 2 weeks for a quick Mom/Kid weekend and I am SO excited!
This was from awhile back, but wanted to thank @jellybean5 & others who mentioned the cutout pillows when kids were heading off to school. I ended up getting the Groupon deal but waited a couple of months to actually order one. My D19 only misses one sister and two cats, so I sent her favorite cat as a cutout pillow. She loved it! Iām sending another (different cat) for her birthday so sheāll be surrounded by feline love. A belated thank you to yāall!
@eb23282 That sounds great! I wish her continued happiness and success in her life. I have DDā17 that did community college only and she is happy to be done and working.
DDā19 is at a directional so weāre totally not on the prestige route but it suits her. It does make me kind of an outlier here but I do enjoy the community and talking with everyone about our kids!
@crknwk2000 Glad you had a nice visit and your upcoming mom/kid weekend will be fun! I spent Friday night overnight at DDā17ās apartment with both my girls and we went shopping Saturday morning. It was fantastic.
Hi everybody! Itās been a while since Iāve posted but I think I am all caught up on reading posts. So nice to hear updates on all of the 2019 kids.
D is doing well at Tulane. Some classes are a little hard than she expected but others are easier so hopefully they will balance out n the end. She came home a few weeks ago for fall break and it was so great to see her. We go to New Orleans this weekend for Family Weekend, I canāt wait! It is colder than she expected this early in the year so she is having me bring a much of sweaters. She is used to Florida weather and did not expect 60ās in October, she is loving it though.
@ninakatarina Thanks for checking in - I had been thinking about you guys since the summer wondering how everything was going!
I have a D21 who is just starting the college process. I feel like we are way behind compared to D19ās schedule but D21 is not that into the it yet so we are moving a lot slower. Canāt believe I am starting all over again.
Iām being hit by empty nest melancholy. Itās eight and a half more weeks until kiddo comes home for the Christmas break. They have no Thanksgiving break and we couldnāt afford to come over for fall break.
We bought the Halloween candy and my husband is working nights so I will be handing it out alone. Sitting out on the porch with a little lantern, nobody to chat to or take my place when I need a break, nobody to force to run around the block begging other families for candy when our supplies run low.
Hah - thatās why I posted it, itās so funny that she is freezing in 60 degree weather. Meanwhile I am so excited to get there this weekend and enjoy a football game in jeans and a sweater instead of shorts and a t-shirt while still melting down here in FL!
Oh, and she has said s few times it was probably a good decision to pick Tulane over Boston College. As much as she loves Boston and would have loved to be right by my family she knows she might not have survived the winter.
I currently have 8" of snow at my house and itās supposed to snow all day today. Halloween is usually cold/snowy here (long underwear under costumes is commonplace); Mother Nature is just a few days early this year. Meanwhile, D19 is confused by Phillyās weather. I told her, āItās called Autumn.ā
We are set for a really cold week by our standards, with temps set to drop to the 40s. Honestly, after fires, smoke and blackouts, not to mention the odd earthquake, a bit of cold is the least of my worries right now. We are hoping the smoke doesnāt blow back this way and mess up Halloween for the kiddos. (D26 is trick or treating with a new bunch of friends from middle school this year so sheās even more excited than usual!)
(Of course, Halloween is already messed up for the fire evacuees.)
DD tells me sheās going to switch to a Florida college LOL. The cold hasnāt really bothered her in the past- sheās always excited to break out the boots and sweaters- but sheās doing a lot more walking outside now and itās already getting to her! I tell her sheāll acclimate. We got an inch of snow last night, not sure if she had any accumulation there.
@ninakatarina Iām with you. I have been a very sad empty nester this week. Iām not sure why this week has been so hard but it has. The house is much too quiet - always. I also really miss seeing other parents at school events too. Itās hard not having a connection to the school any more. TBH Iām not a natural at being social so those events were perfect for me.
We never get trick or treaters, so that part of this week doesnāt bother me. I do envy the young families who are going out and creating Halloween memories with their kids. Those were great years.
My D called over the weekend. Apparently she is taking a road trip with friends - to Montreal from Boston (REALLY?!?) - the weekend before Thanksgiving. I want to say no way, not allowing that! But sheās 18 now and doing great in school. I am having a hard time adjusting to what my new role is as Mom. Honestly, Iām not really having fun with this emptynester thing yet. Iām still trying to figure out how to get involved in something, like a club or volunteering. Although working 40 hours a week doesnāt leave much time for that either. Plus my H doesnāt want to do anything fun such as day trips, etc. Itās just hard.
@ninakatarina Hugs, hugs, hugs! I still have one at home, but it is the S19 who is gone who was into all our traditions. Even last year he helped me carve pumpkins. Now the pumpkins I bought will probably sit on the porch uncarved:(
Please, someone send cold weather. It is supposed to be a flippinā 82 degrees on Halloween. Iām a four-season girl, this just isnāt right.
S19 called today to tell me all about his prior 36 hours with midterms, projects, and papers all due, and losing his student card Sunday night on top of it all -he survived on Clif bars for 2 days. He waited to call until everything was turned in and the card was found - just wanted to let me know he survived. I appreciated hearing it after the fact.
