Ha, no need to go to the Midwest. D has to go to an 8am class tomorrow when the temperature will be all of 10 degrees. A long way below the all time record low for October in Salt Lake City.
And looks like friends at CU Boulder have a snow day this afternoon and likely tomorrow as well, with up to a foot of snow in total.
@Twoin18 Right, and high 19 degrees today. Iām however, more concerned now about the fires in California 
Hi everyone, I wish I knew of this thread sooner - what a wonderful place to share your feelings and experiences.
I havenāt seen my daughter since August and itās killing me. I miss her so much. I missed parent weekend because of my job (long story), her 2 best friends and one of the dad went to see her, so it was good for her but I was so jealous of them lol.
With the school shutdown a few weeks ago, and no classes this Monday due to the fire, I am a mess but she seems to be perfectly fine (didnāt show any sign of stress or discomfort). Itās so hard to be 3000 miles away from her. I didnāt cry when we dropped her off in august, now i found myself tears up every time I see things reminded me of her.
Welcome, @Nhatrang. Sorry to hear youāre struggling with the distance. Do you and your daughter use FaceTime or Skype, or text frequently? Itās not the same as having her there, but my wife and I have found it helps when we communicate with our D. Best of luck to you.
Thanks @Vineyarder Yes we FT about once a week and text here and there. I dropped everything when she did and ran to the phone like a maniac lol. With the time zone difference itās not ideal but we tried in the weekend. And whenever she finished a midterm she would text constantly. Last midterm she texted at midnight our time because she finished at 9 PM. We texted for almost an hour. Then a whole week nothing before she FTed again.
Hope for no more school shut down, bad air quality, earthquake, or fires. It has been a very eventful semester thus far. But she was so excited about the earthquake, experienced it for the first time so itās kind of cool.
Iām feeling sad right along with many of you. Iām very happy my kids are doing interesting things and doing well in school, but Iām not exactly enjoying the empty nest thing. Iāve been keeping busy and we are still remodeling (kitchen, dining room, family room all opened up to one room), 8 months and counting! I also went on a great girls trip to the beach to celebrate my sisterās 50th. However, I still miss the kids a lot and itās been hard to get used to not having S19 hanging around with us in the evenings watching sports and Jeopardy. Iām also bummed because I was supposed to get to see him play in a water polo tournament this weekend (and hang out with other parents from our high school team who will be watching their kids) but S decided it was too far to travel and needs to study, plus of course go to three Halloween parties! Seeing him this weekend was supposed to help get me through to Thanksgiving break. I decided to make chili tomorrow and invite another couple for dinner while we hand out candy. At least Iām still needed to make Halloween costumes for one of my kids- last week my D17 was home for fall break and I made her a Maleficent headband with horns!
@elena13 Thatās a nice idea to invite some friends over. I think this period is about staying busy and, hopefully, over time it just gets easier. The new reality takes time to sink in. Sounds like your kids are communicative which has to help a bit. S19 also checks in quite a bit and Iām so thankful for that.
We just got back from parents weekend and it was beyond awesome. I did not want to go home. Every minute was so fun. S19 is settling in so well and seeing him with all of his new friends was very reassuring. Now three weeks until Thanksgiving and then three more weeks until winter break. Spring is going to be rough. Itās possible that his two week break will only be one week here with the other week being track practice. Ugh.
Iām pretty curious about how itās going to be to have him home for Thanksgiving. I hope his re-entry into our house goes smoothly!
@elena13 thatās such a bummer about the water polo tournament! Itās great that youāre planning fun social things, though. Would love to see the Maleficent headband! My sister is also creative-crafty and makes the coolest Halloween costumes, but I did not receive that gene.
Welcome @Nhatrang ! Sorry you had to miss parents weekend with your daughter. I somehow thought the initial goodbye and the first couple of months would be the hardest, but Iām missing D19 more . . . and I still have two kids at home. Hopefully, the Parents of the HS Class of 2023 thread will be supportive when my youngest graduate! Iām already gathering lots of tips on dealing with the empty nest.
Iāve found that a brief exchange of texts really helps me with D19. Iāve asked her to please always respond, even if itās just an emoji. I send her one or two texts a day with photos, a link to an article she would like, or something funny that happened. She usually just sends back a sentence, or ālovesā my text, but it makes me so happy.
We text daily, even if itās just brief. D19 will often text us an arbitrary photo (field trip or visiting somewhere in DC, what sheās eating, the rain outside her dorm window, what sheās wearing today, etc)ā¦just normal day to day stuff, which is nice too. We are still pretty busy with D26 so that helps fill the time, but we do miss her a lot.
This morning in our Chicago suburb, there was snow this morning ??
As a one-time Californian, I have to say that ākind of coolā is not quite how I would describe an earthquake:) But Iām really glad she is enjoying her new adventure!
S19 is also texting almost daily. And it isnāt about classes necessarily - I hear about his business club activities, drama in the dorm, the fact that the Starbucks staff in his dorm know his name and orderā¦
It isnāt quite like having him at home, but I feel like I have an inside look at his days, and that is helping a lot!
Out of the blue, my S19 asks if I can check his closet for his cloak (costume) and if I can bring it to him. Like itās a hop, skip, and a jump:). And preferably by the next day! We made it work butā¦
Thatās fun! 
My D plans to to watch rocky horror with her room/dorm-mates and then theyāll crash a frat party. She is wearing some kind of skeleton costume.
DD was going to be Rachel Green from Friends so she didnāt need anything special- she has a āGirlsā sweatshirt that apparently Rachel and Monica wearā¦I think local kids went through the dorms Tuesday but I havenāt heard if they had any come to their floor.
I did hear from her yesterday- she said she needed a bigger plate. I just sent her with a snack size plate not knowing that she and her roommate would be trading off cooking with another room on Wednesday nights! She made do but next time Iāll send her back with a dinner plate.
I do see the kids at least once every two to three weeks so I donāt suffer too much missing them but Iāll admit Iām bored. Especially now that DH is hauling in harvest till 9pm or later every night and on weekends and itās too cold to take the dog on our usual 2 mile walk. Iām not much of a TV watcher except for a couple of shows, and the internet gets old. Only so much cleaning I want to do! I play solitaire at the kitchen table and will probably break out the jigsaw puzzles soon. I used to quilt and craft but Iām not real interested in starting that again. I do need to start checking out books at the library. I could play piano more.
Iām laughing out loud. D19 just texted a photo of her costume. Itās the classic cut-eyes-out-of-a-bedsheet ghost costume :lol: It looks pretty good though! Theyāre going trick-or-treating down the embassies tonight before a party in the dorm.
@homerdog - Glad parents weekend was so fun and that your son is settling in well. Itās nice to see them with their first group of college friends and itās fun to think that some could be lifelong buds.
@3SailAway - Thanks, Iāll send you a photo of the headband if I can. I bought some black fabric also and we made a simple cloak that sheāll pin with a broach. S19 is going to three parties and apparently needs three costumes! Heāll be Gatsby, a Greek god, and a minion.
In addition to trying to do social things, my husband and I have been kind of into watching The Voice this season and there have been a number of great performances. I thought I would share one I especially liked. Iāve watched it a few times and I always cry watching the mother. I think her face perfectly captures the pain, worry and exhilaration of parenthood.
Count me among those who are not enjoying the empty nest. Not having structure to my life is really hard, on top of just missing the kids. For 20 years, we got ready for school, drove or drove with kids to school, did pick-ups, then sports practices and games, and all the after school events. So much structure and activity. And thenā¦zip. Iām struggling with putting structure back into my life. I can telework and I find myself in pajamas til evening some daysāwhich is not good for my mental state. I am still working plus am overly committed with volunteer duties so I am busy but itās unstructured. H and I are also enjoying doing stuff together during the weekends so thatās good. But there is an empty feeling that I cannot shake. All the memorabilia of raising 3 kids is around the house and I feel sad when I see it. Iāve thought about packing it up, but have hesitated. I feel like I need to somehow unpackage my feelings about the end of that stage of my life and donāt know how to do it yet.
^^ I know what you mean, not looking forward to it at all. My first born is a freshman in college and I feel like there is a permanent hole in my heart I canāt fill. But knowing her happy and thriving makes me so happy for her. I still have a HS freshman and I treasure every moment with him.
Also, itās one of the reasons I hate working from home. I have the option to work from home every day if i wanted to. But finding myself in PJ at 5 PM in the afternoon is really bad for my mental state. So I get up, shower and get out. Although itās nice to just be lazy on Fridays.
Anyway, you are not alone, hopefully it will get easier. Hugs
I told myself I was going to do a deep clean of S19ās room but it took me six weeks to be able to go in without feeling too sad. Iāve since started and just looking under his bed and seeing the things heās saved is crazy hard! Weāve talked about it and he really doesnāt see this as sad at all - he says we text every day and he calls a few times a week and he insists that heās not away forever. As the adult, though, I know what can happen. A job. A girlfriend. A cool study away program where he falls in love with another country. I donāt want to get too far ahead of myself so Iām trying really hard to just live each day and enjoy hearing about all thatās going on with him.