Catching up after along hiatus from CC. There are a lot of informative posts. @socaldad2002, thank you for the post on college coaches. We are just about to sign up with one here in the area and I now have some knowledge to draw from as my kiddo is interested in the schools you mentioned,. This is will be our 3rd trip through the process and each child has been very different.
@tutumom2001 and @VickiSoCal, sorry to hear about the challenges your kids have been facing but it is a blessing that you have the opportunity to address them now and not while they are away at college.
@tutumom2001 and @VickiSoCal we too are dealing with similar challenges - depression and anxiety at our house. O is also in therapy and we have gotten more used to the âtwo steps forward, three steps backâ progress being made at times. I keep on reminding myself that there is progress. I talked about it more here:
I also have been trying to remind myself that it is a blessing we get the chance to deal with this while O is still in high school. I cannot imagine what this would even look like if we were trying to handle this with no notice during the college years.
Thank you for sharing your story @beebee3.
S20 is smart, introvert and quirky and as a parent I want him to go to a college where he would thrive, find his tribe and be happy. I worry about finding a perfect fit for him plus finding colleges with generous merit (we are full pay). I, for one am guilty of searching and researching for the âperfectâ list of colleges for him.
I love what you said about taking a breath and letting things play out before making any definitive plans. Thatâs a great advice - thanks!
Re: Introverts. My S, 2014 college grad, is an introvert. There were two things I discovered that worked for him. 1. School/program size matters - and he attended a mid-sized state school and his major was a small dept. so he and his profs got to know each other. 2. On campus involvement was a must for him. S was involved in the marching band and this is where he made most of his friends. The experience taught him how to work with different personalities. He is still involved with the schoolâs band today as an instructor and remains close to the friends he made even though they now live in different parts of the country.
Suggested reading: âQuiet: The power of introverts in a world that canât stop talkingâ by Susan Cain. It really resonated with S.
@lilmom my DS16 is also an introvert and I completely agree with your #1 and 2 âmustsâ. I would add a third. He needed a campus with open spaces. Every time we visited a more compact campus he was exhausted after the visit. He needs room to breathe both literally and figuratively. He has discovered however that introversion exists in degrees and sometimes in a group he is the extrovert, relatively at least. This discovery really boosted his confidence in social situations. So @msmaria keep researching and touring colleges and watch your DSâs body language. You will both know when you have found the right size and type of campus.
FYI - the 2019 thread has some very informative posts that might be good reading and helpful for us 2020 parents in anticipation of junior year and beyond:
I just looked; saw option for july date but nothing else.
I am so glad you mentioned this though; It took forever to login into kiddos account because when i registered him as a frosh i must have switched first and last names around. so his name is completely backwards. I think this will cause problems in the future and will get that switched around the right way this week. :-S
Thanks, glad I am not the only one. It said July testing is not available in CA. Will be checking back in a few weeks, hopefully early September will be added soon. Wonder if they are doing it last minute to force more ppl to pay late registration fees.
After a grueling two month of non-stop traveling for work, itâs nice to read and catch up. D17 had a very limited scope of schools she was looking at, as sheâs an athlete in a niche sport not offered by many schools and wanted an engineering major, which really narrowed the starting field. D20âs search is wide open, which is frankly much more intimidating since thereâs no natural starting list.
Catching up on topics:
Subject tests: D17 took 3 SAT subject tests, and not a single school she applied to required them. Not even Cornell â the CALS college within Cornell doesnât require them. Iâm not sure if D20 will take any. She opted to not take the Chem subject test this year.
Summer visits: We visited several schools during summer travels, and itâs a mixed bag. Vassar was a ghost town and felt very cold and impersonal because of it. D17 was turned off and didnât consider applying. UVM on the other hand had a buzz about it because itâs in Burlington VT which is a busy place in the summer. Same with UOttawa, the city buzz counter-balanced the lack of students.
Financial Safeties: D17 applied to 9 schools, and 2 applications were frankly a waste of time, at least financially. I was pretty sure going in the aid wasnât going to be there to make them affordable, and was right. For schools that were large enough to have active forum here on CC, I used the accepted student forums here on CC to help guess the expected merit. The Stencils rule of thumb: If youâre counting on merit aid (and we were), and you need way more than ANY accepted student/parent of accepted student posts receiving as merit aid, and if there seems to be a natural ceiling to the amount of merit a school offers (posted by top stats applicants), chances are pretty good that really is the upper limit. On the Parents of 2017 board a regular poster christened these as NFW schools â âNo Financial Wayâ
@stencils I am laughing as NFW was probably the most posted phrase on the parents of 2018 thread this spring.
I also am in the same daunting place with D20âs searchâŠher sister at least had a major to start with and that helped weed out the beginning of the search. D20âs only criteria so far is in the south so I guess that is a start but the south is a pretty big place especially if you are from the northeast and have limited knowledge of the south. D20 is more of a B student so that will also help narrow down but right now we are looking at quite the taskâŠmaybe even more so since those Bs will limit us and we do not want to be posting NFW on this thread in two years.
Just booked flights for a fall break trip to see 2-3 schools. I had miles and the flights were perfect timesâwhich means the airline will likely change the schedule multiple times between now and then. We hope to see the schools that require a flight before application so that if that does not feel right to her we can narrow the list before applying. I require at least 1 likely and 1 match application within 2.5 hours of home just in case âfar awayâ becomes overwhelming before the deposit gets paid. Those are easier to see by using one of the 3 days she can take off school for a visit.
Back on the college trek with D20 and D19. Just finished planning our EC trip - from the Northeast and kids want to look at schools in South which Iâm so excited about. Weâre visiting Clemson, Furman, U Georgia, Emory, College of Charleston, and VTech, U Richmond. Was thinking about Elon, Wake Forest, Georgia Tech but havenât booked those yet.
@MinnieFan My D20 is also a B student. So far thinking about Psychology. D19 is looking at Pre-med or research. Your picture has Elon on it - was thinking of visiting there on our trip. Any thoughts, especially for pre-med preparation?
summerâs officially started here this week. First day of HS XC training and pools open tomorrow.
S20 is lifeguarding and signed up to coach the rec swim team at his city pool. ??? Heâs doing it with another girl- neither have done this before and neither have swam in in HS (S20 swam club a few years). Itâll be a really good learning lesson for him, dealing with parents, details, coaching, leading, organizing etc. Going to try to not be involved, but will be here for him if he has questions. (S15 did this several years ago so we know what goes into this all.)
i want to help with these things! he also was just awarded some $$$ for a community service project heâs going to put on â and I WANT TO HELP too with that! I have so many ideas, but i know these are his things, and heâll do them in his own chill way. Hold me back!
@bgbg4us I admire your restraint in getting involved. I think the coaching role is the kind of things colleges are looking forâthings that are real, led by the student, and NOT something the parents has essentially done and allowed the student to claim as their effort. Too many âcuratedâ applicants and their parents do not realize this and suffer the consequences at application time.
Interesting the progression where my kids work is usually the first summer you only do the lessons, second summer you might do pre-comp, and third summer if you pass all the classes and get certified you get to coach.
^^ i know. iâm just not completely confident in his abilities to handle coaching/organizing a swim team. I hope it turns out ok; i know i really cant get involved!
Since an internship at legal aid clinic never materialized (as I expected - they have their pick of college students and high schoolers are just not needed/trusted), D will have more time on her hands this summer. She promised to try coaching her 6-year old brother so he can make a leap to stroke school (he knows the 4 styles, but a bit scared not to have a coach right next to him in the pool). Will see how it goes -could be fun and useful for both, and hubby and I agreed to pay D for these lessons - she is so bummed no employers in the area are willing to hire 15-year olds, so we want to make it up to her somehow.
