@momoftoomany As far as I know, probably they found her online. She has liked this school for over a year and checks on their Instagram page often. We do remember 1 school asking if she wanted to be reached out thru social media (to be reminded of deadlines) and she opted out. We don’t think it was that school.
@Cheeringsection That’s good to hear. Maybe that’s what my DD is doing as well, just keeping her options open. She went into the process thinking she knew what kind of school she wanted and as we visited realized she might be open to other schools too. We visited TCU over Fall Break and she unexpectedly fell in love so that may have made her think she should open up her options outside of small college town schools.
I honestly hadn’t thought about that before your post. Hopefully she wi have the same clarity in the spring as your D18!
@bigmacbeth S19 wanted a big football school too. My kids go to a similar high school to yours and he wanted big football in college. He’s at Alabama and loves it!
He’s a smart kid, so we were a little concerned about him having a “peer group.” But honestly, I think I picked up that concern from here. He has been fine. His suite has 4 roommates and 3 of them are NMF. He joined a big, popular fraternity, and it turns out 3 kids in his pledge class have perfect ACT scores. I’ve been pretty amazed by how many smart accomplished kids he has met at his big football school. And he has absolutely loved game days!
We’ve received several acceptances earlier than expected which has been nice!
In at 4 and waiting for 2 more and will know about those in Jan/Feb. Still quite a few honors/scholarship apps and essays to do. Should be all done with those by Dec 15th and D20 can then spend some time over Xmas break working on a handful of local scholarships. So ready for her to be finished but also trying to enjoy the process and not wish this time away. I’m going to miss her next year!!
Strange to think that in 5 months this will all be done and decisions made!!
S20 also wants a big football school, which is funny to me since the rest of our family is the opposite and always chose urban schools.
Still a lot of applying going on here. 2 more RD to do, but also, now he’s saying he might ED2 some schools if he doesn’t like what her hears in December from his EA options. It’s getting so close! 2 acceptances, still waiting to hear from 5.
@MamaBear2001 Hoping for good news for you! I know the waiting is hard!
@NYC2018nyc Um, I don’t know much about ED, and less about ED2. Can you apply to more than one ED2 school? I would think not. 
@bigmacbeth no, just 1 ED2 school. S20 hasn’t done any ED, because I think his favorites didn’t offer it. Some of his second choice schools do, so if he doesn’t like where he gets in from EA, he’s planning to pick one of the others to do ED2 to. He applied EA to Tulane, and they encourage you to change it to ED2 by January 6th. He would love Tulane, but it wasn’t his first choice so he didn’t want to ED it.
Is anyone else worried that ED/REA deferrals will make for a depressing holiday break? And feeling the added pressure that this is the last “family holiday” we will have while all living together?
I know this is part of how young people develop resilience. But I am trying to get myself ready. I want to let all the sad emotions bounce off and not absorb them, for the sake of the rest of the family. This process has taken so much more out of us than I expected.
If anyone has advice, I would love to hear it.
@GuineaHen My best advice would be to trust the process. You and your child made your best decisions based upon the knowledge you had during this process and now it is time to believe that the schools are doing their level best to figure out which students will ‘fit’ best in this specific class, realizing there are more qualified students than spaces at some of these colleges.
That way you can celebrate acceptances and understand that deferrals/rejection don’t actually say anything other than a school doesn’t see the right ‘fit’. Schools want students to be successful, and every student can be successful at more than one school.
It is ok to be disappointed if you don’t get the answer you are hoping to get, and letting your kids know that is important. I also think you learn and grow from set-backs as well as success. And our children do need to get use to dealing with both (gracefully). This is a great time for us, as parents, to help model how to do this.
If you believe your child will be successful regardless of whether they get into their ED/REA ‘dream’ school, let them know that. I think we sometimes forget our kids are still kids and need to sometimes hear the words very plainly and very clearly.
And enjoy this holiday season as best you can. So many times, we place so much emotion and importance on specific events that almost any thing (small or big) can make it feel like a disappointment. Try to enjoy each moment, in the moment, and let go of as many expectations as you can. Life will go on after decisions are released, after the holidays are over - this is a small moment (even as it feel incredibly large) in the context of your child’s life. Your kid will be the same kid after decisions are out as they were before.
I hope you get the decision you guys want, keep us posted. (hugs)
@GuineaHen Do you guys have any early acceptances from safeties or rolling admissions schools? If so, that can soften the blow.
I think the best thing we can do as parents is to just set expectations and make sure that our kids know that, in the case of reaches, the odds are low for most. This way they can hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Even knowing this, it’s never fun to be deferred or denied. I will probably resort to saying something cliche before she looks at her decision like “Whatever happens, it doesn’t matter. You will have great options.” And then if it’s a deferral or rejection, “It’s ok.” Lol
Lots of good advice and perspective from @beebee3.
One thing that can make it easier to model a healthy attitude toward disappointment, and a good process forward through it, is if there are solid distractions in place in the immediate moment as well as just beyond. Or put another way, it can help if the Decision Reveal is just another element of a busy day/weekend/week/month.
It’s likely that for most kids, the timing of the ED / REA / SCEA decisions will mean that school itself (meaning, their current h.s.) will offer some of these, both business as usual (tests, papers, projects), and more fun (games, rehearsals, celebrations).
It doesn’t hurt to see whether there are low-key family events (or bigger plans, if that’s your style/budget) you can salt into the calendar now - things that have absolutely nothing to do with the college process in any way. Schedule things that you and your DC truly love doing now, because it’s a nice, tangible reminder that things do go on. (Emphasis on now, because it shouldn’t look or feel as if you’re trying to cheer them up.) A movie, a family game night, shopping for somebody else (secret holiday gift exchanges tend to come up around now), dinner out, and so on.
If things go the way the kids are hoping, the events will feel like celebrations, however small. If they don’t, they’ll feel like a good thing the family does together, and a solid reminder that those kinds of things don’t change.
As parents of a kid who auditions for a lot of stuff, we’ve found that kind of strategy helpful. It’s not a cure-all, because you can’t and shouldn’t “fix” their disappointment. But at least for us, it helps with the perspective.
Here’s hoping for good news for all! And congratulations again to those who already have happy results.
What have your experiences been with turnaround time on official SAT score reports sent to schools from College Board?
I dropped the ball because D has a due date from one school to receive official scores by 12/15; I told her I would submit the request, however I just submitted it on 11/30.
Do you think it will get there in time, or should I pay the $36 for the rush service, which they quote as 1-2 days?
@Nicki20 We got the same email! Excited to know the date to put on the calendar. My son is applying to Gies Business, so we’re worried about that one, which tends to be competitive (I guess?).
@AlwaysLearn
DS did this so I am just quoting his experience, he “rushed” his SAT scores to his EA school and the school received it within two business day. So I think you are good here time wise.
One of the RD schools DS just submitted stated in the confirmation email that they consider SAT scores on HS transcript to be official. We didn’t know it as DS’ school does put SAT/ACT on its transcript. Don’t know whether this is a common policy for all schools but it is nice to not have to send official scores from college board later.
@AlwaysLearn my D’s scores all got to her schools within two weeks, some even faster, so I think you should be ok. Of course, if you’re worried, the rush fee may be worth the peace of mind. Good luck!
@GuineaHen, I hear you! I too worry about my daughter’s reaction to an upcoming REA decision. I also made her apply to a couple of local scholarships, and she already wasn’t chosen for one. While she understands that the kids who were chosen most likely had greater financial need, or maybe were URM, or had challenges in their lives such as disabilities (one of the award recipients was listed as attending a specialized school), D still felt a bit down, questioning how can she compete in all the other scholarships (and unspoken was - admissions) if there are always others who are more “worthy”. The positive side effect of it was - she finally gave in and agreed to apply to a safety, though at the last minute. The miracle for me was that she received a call last Thursday morning notifying her she was selected as a finalist for another scholarship and will interview in December. I wished I could hug a guy who took the time away from his family to call the finalists and make their day! We all know she might still not get that scholarship, but even being selected as a finalist lifted her spirits and made for a much cheerier Thanksgiving. And again, I keep repeating myself to her that a rejection could be a blessing of sorts since it makes an acceptance that follows a lot more meaningful and joy more intense.
With her REA, though, my strategy has also been to have a few schools lined up that are not a perfect fit (I.e. too small, less value, etc) but nevertheless have some interesting programs, and tentatively schedule a visit to those schools in the first half of January. If the REA result is a disappointment, this mini-vacation could be a good distraction (as would be those extra essay supplements, of course). At least that’s my hope!
@Momofmanytoo, thanks for your support. I agree, things become more real the closer they are to graduation. Knowing my daughter, who suffered all last year because she couldn’t get a driver license like her classmates (she skipped a grade so she’s a year younger), living at home while attending cc would have felt like a trap - though secretly I would totally love to have her home for another year, at least till she turns 18.
Regarding ED/REA decisions possibly not going the right way, I think @AlwaysLearn said the key word: expectations. If expectations are properly set, and backup plans are in place, it shouldn’t ruin the holiday. Hopefully, they are excited about other choices.
What could ruin the holiday, beyond the decision, is having to craft a bunch of essays and applications for a new set of schools. Hopefully, other apps have been submitted already, or are basically ready to go in case of a deferral. Or both.
My D20 is still waiting for a decision from her first choice school (EA) (she is accepted to the college, but no decision yet on whether she’s been admitted to her major). But she has a great #2 and #3 and will probably get over a deferral pretty quickly. At least, she says whe will.
@GuineaHen
We told DS that his EA school is a pipe dream for everyone, to set the expectation low. But I am sure the disappointment would be there if the dream didn’t come true.
I (myself) would really prefer an outright No, not a deferral, so we could move on to the RD schools and not have to think about the lottery school anymore.
Luckily, DS could see himself happy in all of the schools he has applied/is applying, and like @typiCAmom’s DD, he skipped a grade and is the youngest in his class, so we wouldn’t mind of his going to a great local college that is 20’ away from home. He likes that school very much.
So I guess don’t fall in love with dream school is what I am trying to say here.
Good luck everyone!