Shifting gears briefly…does anyone else have a child who is already obsessively trying to plan their dorm room decor? The Christmas list this year was basically all geared towards college wants & needs but I am somewhat concerned that my daughter’s roommate/roommate’s family is going to be on here next year posting photos of my child’s hyper coordinated decor; the sort of photos that I have laughed at in years past.
I have gently reminded her that she won’t be assigned a roommate until this summer and she may want to take a breath before locking in any choices because she will have to coordinate/compromise with said roommate but the only response I get is more text messages linking to her Pinterest page and urban outfitters/anthropologie product links.
I sometimes feel like the Sally Field character in Steel Magnolia’s listening to her daughter, Shelby, talk about her Signature Colors: “Blush” and “Bashful”.
I think it’s also important to remember this doesn’t just happen to tippy top kids. We have friends whose kids have been rejected at schools like Fordham, Providence, and Elon and those kids are just as upset as those rejected from the T20 schools. Even if a school has a 50% acceptance rate, that means 50% of the kids get rejected. And on paper, these kids are matches. My D is 9/9 in EA acceptances but she applied to mostly safeties and matches where we knew she would get merit. But I have no idea why she has gotten into some of these schools and her friends haven’t.
I know kids applying to T20’s work really hard, but so do kids applying to lower ranked schools and the sting in admissions can be just as difficult for them. Lots of kids at all stats levels have dream colleges.
I’m sorry for your DS. I haven’t read back through this entire thread in a while, but my S20 is another one rejected in-state for CS at UIUC. We knew it was still a bit of a reach because of the competitiveness of the program, but we were still a bit surprised. I haven’t reported on this thread, but did on the UIUC one.
His stats are:
36/1600
3.92 UWGPA/4.49 WGPA
NMSF
Lots of APs, etc
They’re not doing a great job keeping in-state kids in IL! I’m trying to remember that they will all end up where they are supposed to and thrive there.
@dreambig55 - your son has identical stats like my DS on all fronts. Very sorry for your son about UIUC. With his stats, your son will not have an issue getting into a top CS program. Good luck and hang in there.
Exactly. That seems so wrong with stats like that and being in-state. It’s really hard to be deferred even as OOS with stats like that. It isn’t unreasonable to expect that a high stat kids will get accepted to their state university. We always counted on our in-state as being safety, especially financial safety, and I am sure so did you. Are they trying to get OOS students to attend their cs program?
@hs2020dad
This must be really hard, and I can see why you are worried. Your son sounds amazing, and I am sure he will get additional acceptances in 2020. Has he applied EA to any of the public schools that release their results in Jan or Feb?
DS20 has done well, and at this point won’t even apply to our state school, but reading this makes me worried about DS22 who is missing DS20 spike.
Thanks, @ShrimpBurrito and @Barefooter ! It’s crazy! Maybe it was the fact that he is male, 1/2 white and 1/2 Asian (Indian). Ugh, we’re searching for what else could have gone wrong. Water under the bridge now and he did get rejected from his ED (CMU), but that wasn’t as big of a surpise! Good luck to you, @Barefooter!
@dreambig55@Barefooter
I hope your DCs all applied to MITs of the world, as the only reason I could think of the UIUC rejection is for yield protection, they think your kids are overqualified for them and use them as safety. Does UIUC have ED option? I am more and more convinced that for schools with ED options, the old concept of match schools (esp. with white-hot majors) no longer exist.
My DS has heard from 5 and waiting on the dream 6th school’s admission letter in early January.
Acceptances:
Univ. of AL w HON program/ Full Presidential, Engineering and Alumni scholarships w/ $29.5k per year
LSU w/ HON program and $21k scholarships
USL w/ HON program. OOS waiver and reduced housing/food scholarships ~ $15k/year
Auburn Univ w/allowance into HON program. Non-guaranteed academic and alumni scholarship of ~$15-16k (pending).
Miss. State w/ HON program and ~$17.5k scholarship
Small private GA Catholic school
GPA UW of 3.89
GPA W of 4.18 (AP grades only 4.5). Total Max GPA is 4.28
32 ACT
34 ACT super score
36 ACT English sub-score
7 APs (2 “4s” and 2 “3s” so far)
NHS
NSHS
Symphonic Band 8+ years
Drumline Captain 5+ years
JV and V Baseball for 4 years
200+ hours community service w/ leadership role per year
Early College @ UA Summer 2018 w/ 4.0 GPA
Just waiting to see if in-state GA Tech will think enough.
Pre-Civil Engineering Major
I find it sad and slightly terrifying some in-state flagship schools are reaching Ivy-levels of selectivity for some programs. Kids that are so smart should be able to rely on their state schools as a financial safety.
I know CS at UIUC is top-notch, but hopefully the side effect of this will be to elevate other schools as these smart kids look elsewhere.
I hate to quote USN&WR ranking here, but it is amazing to me that at those stats, a reject at a school ranked about 50 can be a half or even full tuition scholarship at a school ranked 75-100ish. Is there really that much difference between UIUC at 48 and say, SUNY Bing at 70, or RIT at 104, two other schools known for strong CS programs?
“Tippy top” is such a stilted phrase. There are super selective schools. Better than very selective or not selective ? It is in the eye of the beholder. Or the the parental funding sources. Lol.
However. There is no such thing as a “tippy top” kid.
There are high achievers in many shapes and sizes. Many don’t even consider college. Some are in war zones protecting us as we speak. Some are fixing our cars or giving you that wonderful new hair style for the holidays. Some are the mega stars of music and film.
These loaded phrases and terms like “safeties” vs “likely” diminish accomplishment across wide swaths and lead to economically damaging decision making.
We wonder why young people feel awful when they receive a rejection or can’t imagine attending that lowly, state flagship all the non tippy top students “must settle on”. It’s why the despair and sense of rejection leads to these teens viewing this as a referendum on their worth. It’s horrible. It’s not true and the studies show it.
It starts with us to stop this arms race. They look to us for their cues. It’s unfair to the kids and ultimately more about us as parents than them. I myself had been caught up in this fever in the past.
Sorry, rant over.
Be proud of your kids and all they achieve. Going to college is such a privilege when viewed with a global lens. To do so in our country is a unique blessing. We are all so fortunate.
Well said, @privatebanker ! These great kids make their own opportunities wherever they go. My personal opinion, FWIW, is that the opportunities made available by being a stand-out at a quality school can outweigh being average at an elite school. My D17 has found this to be true for her at Temple U. I personally love publics with great honors programs, and D20 has seen those benefits and targeted much of her applications in the same way.
Here’s an update on D20s acceptances. She’s applying for CS at all of these schools.
SUNY Buffalo: Accepted including Honors College. This is our in-state financial safety. With the SUNY STEM initiative and expected merit (still waiting on the merit letter), this will be nearly free. We’re not specifically looking for “nearly free,” but D20 liked the school a lot on a visit so it’s a top contender.
Temple: Her older sister is a junior at Temple, and D20 loves the school and the Philly vibe. She was offered the Presidential (full tuition) and honors college. This is a top contender.
NJIT: Accepted into NJIT and Dorman Honors College. NJIT gets bad press for being in Newark, but she liked the school and I was impressed with the honors perks. NJIT is excellent with merit aid as well.
Fordham, with honors college as well. This is really only in play financially if she gets the presidential award here, which is very selective and unlikely. Fordham’s next top level of merit otherwise isn’t good enough to make the cut.
Hofstra: like Fordham was really only in play if their top scholarship came through, which it didn’t, so it didn’t make the cut.
Fairly new here I have been lurking for a while. I am overwhelmed reading these amazing stats and acceptances with merit. Congrats to all. I need some advice. A little off topic, direct me if it’s in the wrong thread.
My daughter has a great high school profile 4.5 Gpa all honors and AP. EC, Varsity cheer Captain NHS Italian HS, volunteer and interning in her desired field of study which is communication sciences and disorders. She does not have good test scores, just does not do well on standardized tests
She sought after schools that offered this program as an undergrad degree schools that were in her desired comfortable distance and schools that were not in the city. Boston to be specific. So she chose 7 schools all state schools mostly oos and two instate. She is 6/7 waiting on the last
She has not received any merit from the schools except one which is her least favorite of the 7. The College of Saint Rose in NY
I’m assuming it’s because of her test scores.
Here is my question…
She is extremely excited. She has chosen her schools carefully and with purpose Her favorite at the point is Worcester State which is very small public state school she loves it
But when people ask her about her applications and where she wants to go etc. she tells them and almost everyone says ohhhh why do you want to go there you’re so smart or did you not get in to so and so or what about BU they have a great program.
She gets embarrassed and if I’m there I usually step in and tend to explain her choice. She questions her choices and feels like she’s making the wrong choice.
And now because no merit. She is really feeling bad
@chardonMN that is pretty much the explanation she gives. Its just sad that she isn’t getting the reaction that others are getting and she even has to explain in the first place. Or that some think if you’re not going to and Ivy or higher ranked private school that you couldn’t get in. To make matters worse I work at Boston College and they always look at me and ask why she’s not going there even after the explanation. Rude
@stencils my son is in his second year at Temple for computer science and in honors and he likes it. Though with your daughter there you certainly already know all about the school. Congrats on the Presidential scholarship, that’s amazing! Sounds like your D20 will have some great and very affordable options to consider. My D20 applied to Temple and got honors and provost scholarship for in state, but she doesn’t want to be in a city so not a top choice for her.
@smithve she can explain that she applied to schools that she liked and were strong for her chosen major. It can feel tough when people question your choices because they don’t align with their idea of where she should be applying, but as long as she likes the schools she has applied to, that’s what matters. I was questioned as to why my S18 picked Temple when he was accepted to other schools that are ranked higher/considered by many to be better. I just explained he loved the school and it’s a great fit for him and for his major, and that the price was much lower than several of his other acceptances.
One of my D20s top choices is a smaller school with an 80% acceptance rate (might even be 85%, I forget, I just know it’s high). If that’s where she ends up I am not going to worry about its high acceptance rate, just about her being happy and successful there. It’s very strong for her major and she likes the feel of it, and that’s way more important than how selective it is.
@smithve Unfortunately, this is common in MA. (I live here too.) The pressure is insane.
I think you need to explain to your daughter that there are always going to be people in life who question her choices and judge her for a variety of things–not just a college choice. Part of growing up is learning how to tune out the naysayers and forge ahead with your own plan. I understand that’s easier said than done, but at some point she is going to need to decide it’s more important to do what is best for her than please other people.
D20 was accepted ED to a T20 LAC, but would you believe even in MA some people don’t know anything about it? Some adults keep asking, “That’s the actual name of the college? You mean the musical? Where is that?” LOL. She simply says it’s in upstate NY, 15 mins. outside of Utica and an hour from Syracuse. She is so happy with her choice that she could care less if other people know the LAC rankings or not. My sister and I both went to ivies for undergrad and grad, and my dad still proudly wears his sweatshirts with the school names. Up until her ED acceptance he kept asking D why she wasn’t applying to an ivy. She patiently explained to him every time he mentioned it for the last year that she wants a LAC. He still doesn’t get it. It doesn’t bother her in the least because she loves her college and knows she made the right choice for HER. Keep affirming your D’s choice to her, and hopefully she’ll get there too.
