Sending big virtual hugs to your boy and your family. It’s an insanely brutal process. As we all know, they’ll find their place but that doesn’t make this any less painful. I hate the ED process even for hooked kids. Kids are fed the belief that it’s easier to get into schools at ED because the acceptance rate is much higher and college advisors buy into this. As we know on this board, it’s higher because that’s when hooked kids apply. Unless your kid really, really wants a particular school then sure try ED but even then I’m not so sure. College advisors shouldn’t push kids to pick an ED just because, that’s just wrong. Take care.
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Same! Only ones we didn’t get yet are SB and LA.
A minor housekeeping note: Be aware that reading a big block of text is difficult for some of us on this board (and elsewhere).
Please put some paragraph spacing when posting if possible. I want to be able to read everyone’s posts!
Thanks 
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I felt this. Im so sorry for you and him. S24 was rejected twice by the same “dream” boarding school and then rejected by two other boarding schools in the same year. He ended up getting accepted into the top 2 public high school in California (USNWR). He couldnt have been happier and me and my husband couldnt have been happier to save all that money and now use it for his college.
It truly works out for the best, I look back and am so thankful for those rejections. Big hugs. The best is yet to come!
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I agree with the counselor of it was a best fit.
But too many feel that an ED is a must in and it’s not. But if it’s your top choice, stats are in range , and it’s affordable then it’s not wasted. He tried and that’s what matters.
I’m sure he’ll have other options.
Best of luck to him.
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The kids go through the rollercoaster with their friends in addition to their own ups and downs.
S was sad for his friend who got rejected from a LAC this morning. His own ED1 decision has no definite date yet so he is stressed about that too. He’s been mostly speaking in monosyllables today. He even allowed a big hug.
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It is one thing to know about hooks in theory, another to actually see it happening from the wrong side of the equation. I think eventually this actually helps some kids, in the sense they eventually internalize how highly selective college admissions in the US are not in fact an unbiased assessment of individual merit.
But the process of getting to that point is not going to be fun for a lot of these kids, which is very understandable.
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Just trying to prep for the ED result coming in six days, I accidentally surprised S the other day while droning on about how a denial isn’t a reflection of who he is as a person. I added, “it’s just business.” A rather idealistic kid, he seemed a little horrified.
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Highly selective college admissions is definitely a crash course in the real nature of elite private institutions in our society.
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Yes, this is going to be very hard. Glad for this community to do the journey with.
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In our house, we have changed the narrative from “you’ve worked so hard, you’ll be rewarded by attending a great college,” to “youve worked so hard, you’re going to be successful at any college, and more importantly, at life after college.” Let’s turn the focus back on our kids. They have accomplished great things, and they will continue to do so, regardless of where they attend college.
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Yes, we changed that narrative too. We’ve tried to give positive messaging, it’s all we can do.
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I understand that student felt that way in the moment but it wasn’t like they had good perspective on reality.
Reality is - If they had slacked off, they would have had fewer options than the ones they ended up with in the first place.
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I made my D24 watch Try Harder. I wanted to start the discussion that she’s done everything RIGHT and any rejection is about the AMOUNT of qualified apps, it’s not personal. She was NOT happy. I had to force her to watch 15 minutes then told her we could turn off… but by then she was invested! I think it really helped my kid (may stress out other kids but mine is pretty practical)
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Yes this 100%. My kids have pursued activities they have enjoyed and that have made them more interesting people. They have learned leadership and public speaking skills. They have learned to negotiate with adults. They’ve had classes they’ve loved and some they’ve hated. All of it has helped them learn about life and who they are and the accomplishments are their own reward. If they go through life doing things just because they are looking for some pay off down the line, they are missing the point of living their best lives.
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It’s the person you become along the way. That’s what we’ve been trying to champion always. Taking rigor classes, to maximize your potential, learn how to study, reach out for tutors and when help is needed.
Achieving goals that you set out, being consistent and seeing it come to fruition. Being a team player, reliable and honest. The qualities and lessons learned will serve them well in anything they do. They are kids, and it’s hard for them see past the cause/effect, but rejection is a part of life.
You can have the best resume, skills, reccs and still not get the job.
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There was a student the other day - not sure if this thread or another. Turned down to BC and mom says thank goodness - the student is at Syracuse and thriving.
My guess is the student would have thrived at BC, Georgia Southern, SUNY Oswego, etc.
What you say is correct I truly believe and this student is an example. Just as yours will be - it’s the kid - the school is just the vehicle they use.
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I agree, it’s more important what kind of student goes to a
School than what kind of school a student goes to.
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Great points! And this is true when they’re in college as well. The journey continues…… 
We went through this situation with my D21 and now she is very happy at Columbia University. RD is where things will be clear. So don’t worry. Or if he prefers, he can do some ED2 schools.
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