D24 had her last holiday choir concert today. Every year, the seniors sing “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” and it always makes me cry. Definitely cried this year, though, when it was MY kid up there singing it! A couple of her friends came, too. It’s been really hard this week since we started the week off with having to put our favorite cat down. And this is the 1st choir concert since my MIL died in early September. D24 really appreciated her friends coming to support her. That was pretty nice. 
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Saw a post on reddit that kind of broke my heart. It was a HS sophomore asking what he should do for a passion project in order to make himself attractive to his dream school. Sigh.
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That kind of thing makes me sad. Many 15 year olds don’t have a passion and why should they. They are just starting to figure things out. Living your teenage life to get into a certain college just seems like the path to unhappiness (not to mention it mostly doesn’t work).
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So, anecdotally, we met with a college counseling service that really promoted the “passion project.” They suggested all kinds of things for my kids that felt very forced. We did not pursue it and I am so grateful.
My daughter ended up falling in love with student publications and has poured her heart and soul into reviving her school newspaper and into the school literary and art magazines. They may not be stand out ECs but she has loved it, made great connections with faculty and peers, and become a more creative and interesting person.
My son has learned he has a genuine passion for being in charge of things. 
Again, Varsity sports captains and student council presidents are dime a dozen, and not at all the sorts of things this company suggested for him, but he has had a fantastic high school experience and grown into being an authentic leader. I am so, so glad they did not pursue anything because it was going to look good on an application or get them into an elite college.
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D24 is both happy and anxious. Her friends got into BC, Williams (recruited), Wesleyan, Caltech, and Harvard (recruited) whilst she awaits her own ED decision which is unlikely with 10% probability
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S eventually learned how to lead but for the longest time he was very happy with someone else taking charge and he doing all the grunt work. He got stuff done efficiently and loved the process of doing it all himself. As a leader in a STEM field, I felt like he would work well as an individual contributor vs management. Of course that all could change but part of me was conflicted because the emphasis is so much on leadership/management in college admissions.
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I too, struggled with the emphasis on leadership. In part because being in the nonprofit workforce for many years I have seen but a few true leaders and a lot of bureaucracy. Also, in our large public HS the leadership often translates to popularity- not always, but often.
D24 focused on having a job for 2 years and gaining experience and responsibilities. I can’t remember which college asked, but I appreciated an essay asking the students to pick a personality trait from among many, and show how them demonstrated those characteristics. D24 chose a “doer” and it captured why she would make an impact.
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My kid is not a leader - and that’s ok! If everyone’s a leader, what does that even mean? She is a hard worker, loves being part of a team at her job, and doesn’t aspire to be a leader, she’s an introvert and it’s not her path. I wish there was value placed on doing the work and not just being the leader - she had the director at her summer job write a LOR and I am hopeful it gets read along with the rest of her application, as it speaks to her growth and not just her 9th grade geometry grade. I
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I am so sorry- losing a pet is so hard. Hugs to all of you.
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I agree. Not only does the college admissions process put way too much emphasis on leadership, many of the internship applications ask for leadership examples. Is that really necessary for an internship?
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My two cents is all of these are perfectly valid approaches to having good ECs.
I think in general, the EC rat race is way overrated, doing less for those who climb higher on the pile than they think. Instead, a cohesive set of ECs consistent with the kid they see in recommendations and essays and such is a better goal. And that means different things for different great kids, who will all be active in their own ways.
Now, does that mean every such kid will be exactly what every college is looking for? No. But every such kid can be exactly what some great colleges are looking for. And if the kid also likes that college, and of course if it is affordable, then that is a great outcome.
Anyway, that’s my view. And I really don’t think that is in any important way going to hold these great kids back. It is instead going to help them get where they can thrive.
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I think some leadership experience such as Student Council, Club founder/President/Vice President is very helpful overall. Student body president is one of the very valuable leadership experiences.
There was one 7th grader and other redditers asked him to get a life first 
!
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By the way . . . Maple Attorney Privilege with homemade pumpkin bitters.
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Hmm, sounds suitable for a retired attorney so I googled some recipes. I checked the current bar contents and I only see “cocktail bitters.” I assume that’s what he’s using in the Old Fashioneds. Back to Christmas presents…since I already bought the glasses a few years ago and I’m a little afraid to venture into whiskey buying (though I could do that too), does anyone want to recommend a brand of bitters? Or other interesting ingredients, like the almond liqueur in the above cocktail?
Or a bourbon recommendation… I see Woodford Reserve in the bar, so maybe something nicer.
Same! My D24 is an introvert and she’d rather die than be Student Body President and have to give a speech in front of the school! lol In addition to her English and Calculus teacher, we ALSO had the Director of the summer camp she volunteered for 2 summers then was hired as an Asst. Counselor in the 3rd summer write a LOR. I too hope it gets a read!! The growth of my kid has been a sight to watch and she works SO hard on everything–she just got her Dad’s disposition NOT mine! haha Good luck to you daughter!
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I think the idea that you need to submit a cohesive application can come with its own pressures though. Does that mean you need to figure out your interests by 9th grade, so you have enough time to lean into them and create that cohesive profile? What about a kid who jumps around from activity to activity throughout high school but learns a lot about their interests and strengths in the process? What about the active well-rounded kid who makes contributions to lots of different clubs and activities, none of which are closely related to his or her academic interests or strengths? There are lots of ways in which a preference for a cohesive application can be inconsistent with the exploration of authentic interests that AOs also seem to encourage.
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Same story, my introverted (like her dad) D24 has absolutely grown with he job at a summer camp - and her goal is to be an art teacher, so she’s had two years of helping with the art programming at the camp. We actually got the LOR, too, and it was so amazing to read all the great things her director said about her.
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Liquid Alchemist has a very nice orgeat (almond syrup).
I always recommend Basil Hayden’s to someone looking for a bourbon to gift. It is a nice splurge, and the presentation is really cool.
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All of the above! As soon as you try to turn cohesion into a formula, it is self-defeating, like the kids asking others what to do for a passion project. If instead you do things for your own reasons, it can be meaningfully cohesive, because those are all going to be facets of a real thing, namely you.
So this is not supposed to be a commandment, it is supposed to be permissive. Be active is the commandment. But how you are active is permissive.
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