The thing is, ivies are not interchangeable. Not liking your ivy experience doesn’t mean a less selective school is the answer.
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Agree. We knew a handful of people who transferred out of an Ivy or Ivy equivalent - two due to homesickness (one transferred back to the west coast to Stanford, one home to U Michigan), one was asked to leave because he wasn’t able to get off of academic probation, and one’s family’s had a financial crisis so couldn’t continue paying tuition. More recently though, we’ve been hearing about kids needing medical leaves for mental health issues. Some managed to go back but not all.
Most of the unhappy kids we knew just gritted their teeth, stayed, and graduated.
I think there is probably some of this everywhere though, regardless of prestigiousness.
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- You ask the college.
- You go on their schedule of classes and do some searches for a bunch of the classes that kid would likely be taking given their major and see which ones are listed as hybrid or online.
- You also ask the tour guide.
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Obviously to know the solution, you need to know the problem! Just needing a little more support, or maybe a change of major, or maybe some time off, or maybe a transfer, but if so where to transfer . . . all that will depend on why college has not been working out for you.
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I don’t think I suggested a less selective school as the answer - I don’t have an answer for unhappy students, I just know that they can be found at all kinds of schools (and for all kinds of reasons).
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I wonder if there is a new phenomena (or maybe it has always been there) of colleges trying to weed out that the kids that their parents did all the work for them. I know a lot of lawn mower parents that literally do everything for their kids. Have colleges found that this affects their performance once they are in college? Is this even considered?
No college is a dream if it can’t be afforded.
Affordability is first.
Having a dream school, for many kids, is putting all eggs in one basket. That’s why people are saying - not to.
Too many are using a “flagship” as a dream and saying it cannot be afforded. Then guess what - find one that you can afford. Applying to UCLA from OOS if your parents tell you that you have $30K or you can’t afford $72K is folly. Is there a sliver of a chance of affordability? I suppose. But you better apply to a school where your $30K is assured. Call it a dream because even if you got into UCLA, you’re not going. Also, just because one attends school, doesn’t mean they had a “dream” experience there. We don’t necessarily know customer satisfaction rates as @momofboiler1 has insinuated.
There are some folks like this post this AM on a different thread - how many think this but never pull the trigger: “My son is looking at transferring from his private meets-all-need SLAC to our state flagship,” But most people don’t come on to CC to share struggles after the fact…some yes, but not all. And this board is not reflective of society anyway.
Also, many schools with high graduation rates are financial elites - and many are taking kids that may not be qualified - quite frankly their HS education was subpar. Do you really think they’re graduating, without being pushed through? Of course, they’re being pushed through or Dartmouth wouldn’t have said: “his decision was guided by social science research that suggests we can improve our ability to identify students from a wide range of economic backgrounds who will succeed at Dartmouth.” That means they’re letting in unqualified kids - and yes, they have to be their graduation rates up due to status and yes, they’re likely graduating kids that maybe don’t deserve to graduate - or aren’t at the academic level of others - and yes, maybe for areas outside the individual student’s control - wealth, access to educational resources, etc.
Many public schools are filled with kids that can’t afford and many don’t graduate in 4 or 6 years because they are unable to stay. Many are also filled with unqualified kids - and this is maybe why you’ve seen schools keep the SAT or like Dartmouth today reinstitute the test.
Now many public schools (and some privates) knowingly take in unqualified kids - it’s part of their mission. But note a Florida and Michigan hold virtually the same six year graduation rate, well above an Illinois or a UVM, etc. Sure, there are biases by wealth or state high school educational strength. But much is also by design.
Some of the highest graduation rates are the Ivies…
For many these are also “dream schools”. These students by most measures are also “qualified”. I personally find it offensive to suggest holistic admissions is forcing schools to admit unqualified kids who are “pushed through”.
“Wide range of economic backgrounds” and “unqualified” are not synonymous and it certainly doesn’t mean they are graduating kids that don’t “deserve” to graduate.
I also fail to see this outpouring of threads from kids who regret attending their dream schools. Of course they exist but more the exception then the rule.
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I think the idea of trying to identify kids who are truly self-motivated has been a part of holistic review at very selective colleges for a very long time. And just as long, kids/parents have been try to trick colleges into believing they are truly self-motivated. And I personally believe colleges know they sometimes get successfully tricked.
But I do get the sense at least some colleges like Yale feel like these days, they are getting more applications where they can spot the lack of sincere self-motivation pretty easily.
Kansas City. They have better uniforms. (That is my only criteria.)
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Same! I fear this extends to college too, I really don’t like red or orange, but I’ll get over it if it plays that way.
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This is real, my daughter really liked Lehigh, but the colors…
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Haha, glad I’m not the only one. I give a subconscious bump to all blue and green schools. 
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At least I know she wouldn’t bankrupt me in the bookstore!
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Had to look up Lehigh. Yup, had same thoughts while touring Brown…can I work with this as a nice neutral?
You’d love Notre Dame, I am going broke in the bookstore there!
Yes and then that rich unexpected green, so much to work with. I have 3 nieces and nephews there.
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We were watching a parade and any school with blue/yellow (my spouse’s favorite school’s colors) was not liked by the kid. And schools with red/grey (the kid’s favorite school’s colors) was automatically better appreciated. Obviously, football season is joyful in my house.
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Often quoted in our home.
GO BRUNO!
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I wanted to post some amazing updates for D24. After REA deferral in December she is throwing a perfect game with acceptances to Penn State, UMD, U of Richmond, McGill and Boston College. She applied by the Nov. 1 scholarship deadlines for UMD, UR and BC and she has qualified as finalist for Banneker/Key(UMD), Richmond Scholars and Gabelli Scholars so we are looking at a very low cost of attendance with out need based aid and we are over the moon. The best part is that my daughter said yesterday “My recommendations must have been really good I am very proud of myself”. We are so glad that through this crazy process she has been able to see the value that she has. We are hoping for good RD Ivy outcomes with need based aid but it is great to have options D24 would love and will be affordable.
This community has been tremendous in helping craft the list and then trust the process. Thanks to all who have weighed in. Unparticular TSBNA etc to name a few.
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