Is he on the accepted student group for any of his final three on social media? My d23 joined on insta, which then turned into a large group chat. She had already committed by accepted student days but the group chat allowed kids to set up plans to meet for dinner the night before accepted student day and then same kids hung out together that day.
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Does anyone elseās kid refuse to use social media? I feel like my son is going to be behind on meeting people, but he steadfastly refuses to use any of those apps ā Instagram or Discord or any others.
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My kid is the same. She only recently started using Instagram a couple of months ago and only would contact some one via Instagram if she knew then in person already. No way would she reach out to somebody on social media if she hadnāt ever met them in person before. Sheās on Discord, too, but only talks with a small core group of friends on there.
On the plus side of things, this means that sheās totally avoided some of the Instagram & Snapchat drama that occurred amongst some of her peers earlier in high school.
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My kid is exactly the same.
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Yes. But in college they need to be on instagram IMO. Otherwise they will never know what is going on. Use it as a bulletin board - no need to intrigue not their thing.
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Not as far as I could tell for our visits, but we did them both on Saturdays (and the first was during the summer).
And I am a big believer in serendipity! It is easy to be paralyzed by choice and letting the theoretical perfect be the enemy of the good right in front of you. But it has worked out well for me to recognize when a great opportunity I didnāt necessarily plan out has opened up, and to just leap at it while I can. Not foolproof, but I think if you consistently approach life with that spirit it tends to work out well.
Being me, I have an alcohol-related anecdote. Before kids, we got a preview of what travelling with a needy toddler would be like by going to Spain with my older brother. I kid, he is a great guy, but also a little, um, fussy at times.
So we are in a great wine and tapas bar in Toledo, and they have like a gazillion wines on a chalk board behind the bar with all sorts of information. NiceUnparticularMom(to-be) and I just quickly pick out two that seem promising and head to a table to get started on the tapas process. But NiceFussyUncle(to-be) pulls out his PDA (a thing at the time) and starts consulting the notes he had taken about what wines he should try while in Spain.
And he ends up spending I believe what were at least two rounds of us randomly sampling great wines just picking out his first round for him. And did he have a better wine experience or indeed evening out than us? I suspect not.
Point being you have to recognize when you are sitting in a great wine and tapas bar in Toledo, Spain, and can really do no wrong just diving in and letting serendipity take care of you. And obviously a little more deliberation when it comes to college choice is warranted, but I think that if at all possible you should have the same feeling. Basically that if what ends up happening is not what you put into your modern equivalent of a PDA before the journey began, that is fine.
So true. At some point I may remind him that he is the kid who thought he would love Dartmouth, did not AT ALL when we visited, and then completely loved WUSTL, a college he basically knew nothing about in advance. So he didnāt apply to Dartmouth, almost applied ED2 to WUSTL, because that is how he actually felt.
And between us, I think he is still struggling with the fact there are people who would think you should always pick a Dartmouth over a WUSTL, even though philosophically he knows that makes no sense. And not that Vassar is identical to Dartmouth, it was definitely closer to a match, but still not right for him for some overlapping reasons. And I think that may really settle for him that yes, he is not going to be going to a college remotely like that, because that would be choosing a college for the wrong reasonsāfor him, of course it would be the opposite for others, which is fine.
Thatās a good question. I have been pretty hands off about social media stuff, and we will again be in a tight travel window for Carleton so probably no dinners, but I will suggest he maybe consider seeing if he wants to do something like that for at least the event itself. In fact we are using one of their hotels with shuttles, so he could even meet up with folks for the rides if possible . . . .
Iām about to find out!
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Mine enjoys lurking on the class of 2028 account, but has not committed and is unsure if she will submit a photo to be included. I try to remind her only a small percentage are doing that so far, so this isnāt the ENTIRE class (and a more introverted kid like herself may be doing the same as she is, and hopefully youād connect!)
I do continue to be impressed by the growth my neurodiverse D24 has shown over the year. I have positioned myself at least 3 feet behind her on all tours, etc, letting her lead, choose seats, info, etc, and she always chooses second or third row, which is heartening to see. I have said if she chooses seats like that in class, and makes it a goal to speak at least once in each class (ask a question, answer a question, say hi to the prof) sheāll be at least 50% on the way to finding success in those classes just by being engaged.
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Colorado State University, Lewis and Clark.
Thank you.
At our kidsā BS that would be functionally not possible really. Teams use Insta to announce captain practices, dance clubs to announce rehearsals (and auditions), etc. both via posts and group chats.
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yes. My son doesnāt use social media either. He calls it ābrainrotā
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My son is very uninterested in it. He only has Instagram because he has to keep up with his extracurricular groups. Itās the only way I might see a picture of what he is doing, so I wish he liked it just a bit more.
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No value judgment on serendipity! We had a school come off the list because so many things during our visit lined up as āexclusiveā and we felt uncomfortably excluded. It really was just weird luck in spite of loving our tour guide ā just a strange confluence of people who all had connections to each other and the school in a way that felt really clubby. So off it came. And later, when they reached out to DS and asked why he hadnāt applied, he said to us āwhy didnāt I? What was that all about?ā Wrong day for our family. I think itās recognizing that any experience may not be completely representative.
On the same trip, we ended up touring 2 schools with the same family on consecutive days, and we shared a sense of humor. Our kids both did the same sport and got along well and were equally appalled by their parents. Not surprisingly, both schools ended up at the top of the list (and the kids ended up being classmates!) We all realized that the whole āfeelā had been much lighter and joyful for the meeting.
But the places you see on a dreary day, the classes you attend when exams are returned, etc. - sigh. It happens. I donāt necessarily see it as a sign, but acknowledge its role.
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I noticed on my kidsā college visits how clean the campuses are. There arenāt a billion flyers stapled to every tree and telephone pole. No centralized kiosk or bulletin board either. Took me a while to register what was different.
Only two places that still had that in a substantial way were two notable āconservativeā colleges that do actually have a cohort of kids not using social media. Either at all, or to a much lesser extent.
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Same, I am not at all mystical, but I do want my kids to end up excited. And if they are not feeling it somewhere, then OK! No need to force it (unless I guess if they have no excitement anywhere, but that has not been an issue for ours).
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My kid has been able to avoid it for the most part, but Discord and Insta are used by colleges as well.
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At Col School of Mines, on accepted student day, they had yummy food. The student panel noted itās not regularly yummy -that was just for us.
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This is reminding me that an annual, high-volume tracking survey of student satisfaction with dining and housing would be an awesome tool for applicants. You could keep it simple to keep it cheap, but I feel like the Dept of Ed or some such should be getting on that.
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Or you can go on niche 
They seem to have that cornered but perhaps somehwere here (you) can start it.
Business idea in the makingā¦
My D24 is not on social media. She only belongs to text chat groups for two extracurricular groups at her high school. Those are great because she can participate as much or as little as she wants to and doesnāt have to have a profile. However, she does plan to set up an Instagram account this summer before she leaves for college. She doesnāt want to use it for socializing so much as for having access to information.
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