I read an article about kids in this generation keeping their phones permanently on DND (mine included) to avoid ever having to answer the phone 
1 Like
Day after the birthday and D24 is already sick and tired of adulting tasks. 
Things like the following that Iâm making her do today:
- set up a login ID for the patient portal for the medical provider sheâll be seeing next month
- scheduling a well woman exam
- checking her college email
- uploading âproof I really do exist and am an adultâ documents to her bankâs portal so they can verify her identity and convert the minorâs account to an adultâs account
- send an introductory email to her roommate. My patience is being tested today on this one, though, because she said, âWhat do I say?â OMG, kiddo, figure it out. What would YOU want to know about your new roommate? How about talk about whoâs going to bring the refrigerator? Tell her what youâre majoring in. Tell her a little about what youâre interested in, what kind of movies do you like, that kind of stuff. Give her your non-college email account. Suggest that you talk on the phone together at some point before move-in day. Offer to give her your Instagram account name so you can connect on there. SHEESH!
- call financial aid office to confirm everythingâs in place from their end
- finish some of the required online safety course modules for her college
Sheâs annoyed that doing half of those things took 45 minutes. 
Get used to it!
7 Likes
Oh I feel you. Had the same exact experiences with S23 last year. Didnât help that he turned 18 AFTER he started college, which complicated the transition a bit. The summer and fall were exercises in patience for us parents. There was a fair amount of biting our tongues, and a judicious balance of deciding which things were okay to let him deal with himself (and possibly fail) vs. helping out.
In retrospect, we succeeded at keeping a good balance, and maintained a very nice relationship which was a big priority of ours. It felt challenging at the time. We let go of anything that seemed reasonable, and gritted our teeth through the stuff that we needed to. Lo and behold, heâs maturing, and has done a pretty good job of taking on the adulting, but it has required pushing for sure.
Heâs got an internship near home this first summer, and has actually grown up so much being away from home. It really helps now that heâs 18 and is used to carrying his own insurance cards, has to sign his own forms, etc. Feels painfully slow to us as parents, but they DO make progress as you push them out of the nest. Keep doing what youâre doing â itâs perfect!
Last summer, and during the freshman college year, there was a LOT of us parents saying âokay, just let it go, let him do this (or not) himself, this is our last guaranteed time together so letâs keep it happyâ. There is way less of that this summer, and Iâm expecting that to continue into next year. He doesnât ask us to help with that much anymore, and since his requests are reasonable, we are happy to help when asked. It really does work â they actually do grow up!
p.s. He does still complain plenty but is careful to say that he just wants someone to rant to about all the âadultingâ, rather than wanting us to do it for him. We sagely nod and say âI understandâ.
7 Likes
What happens in your house is happening in my house. Eerie doubling.
2 Likes
Anyone else still getting buried by colleges attempting to sweeten financial aid deals?
A school we determined was too expensive for us just offered my son free housing for freshman and sophomore year. Basically an extra $9k in aid per year.
Itâs three weeks past their commitment deadline.
Is this normal? Or are schools still downstream from the FAFSA mess and desperate to fill beds?
7 Likes
Todayâs attempt to have D24 open a Bank of America checking account was a failure. Got there 20 min before the bank closed (thought it closed at 6, we were wrong) and were told that there were people already waiting to open an account and could we please come back some other time. Will try again next week!
Nope. No extra $$ offers here!
The Target Threshold cotton sheets are great. My older child has used them for 3 years and they are holding up well.
4 Likes
Gradaution done! Off to his favorite summer place for 6 weeks! Housing accommodation granted! Almost there!
11 Likes
We had two. Seton Hall in particular kept adding up to and after the date.
Yes! Ranging from 3k to 12k (!) per year from 4 schools. This is our first time with college apps, so I have no idea if this is normal. Definitely caught us off guard.
2 Likes
Must be a lot of schools with low yields.
Given that WL yields at lower tier schools is likely very low, perhaps itâs better to go two pronged, after prior acceptances.
Curious - did you reject the other schools or simply take no action ? Some formally say no.
Others just accept another school but never inform those they arenât going to and maybe thatâs who has come back.
I read every day that kids are decommitting from one school and committing to another for football. The NIL.
Maybe itâs the same for you, on a much lesser scale of course. Someone is throwing the not so big bucks to steal your student away and get them on campus!!
For some, itâll be a great thing. For others who already made a decision it will cause uncertainty.
Best of luck - but itâs certainly a nice problem to have !!!
This is common, and really started increasing after the NACAC/DOJ settlement of 2019 (allowed schools to continue marketing to students after May 1 enrollment deadline and during college.)
I agree with you that the FAFSA situation is also impacting this, and ultimately the (likely) declining number of college going kids will be a factor too.
Get readyâŠnext late winter/spring colleges will start reaching out to students to ask if they are happy at their current school and if not said school would be delighted to have them apply as a transfer. Sometimes they will honor first year financial aid too for those students who had applied and were accepted.
4 Likes
Southwest gift cards are on sale at Costco: $500 card for $430
Just in case anyone uses Southwest for flights.
7 Likes
Thx. Will add to the thread on this.
D24 and I went shopping for dorm room bed spread stuff today and found something that will fit the bill at IKEA. She also picked out a throw pillow with a fuzzy pillow case for it, an extra desk lamp which is small & easy to pack.
And then when we got home, it dawned on meâŠwhen I was pregnant with her, I went shopping at IKEA for stuff for the nursery/babyâs room and I spent weeks stocking up on various baby care items that weâd need. And there I was basically doing the same thing, but prepping for my kid to move out.
Holy cow.
16 Likes
D24 graduated Friday evening. Afterwards, the four of us went out for a nice dinner and then later that night, she hosted a backyard get together with a dozen or so kids. All in all a good night. I have such a mix of emotions about her graduating, as sheâs my âbabyâ and this is the ending of a huge chapter in my life. Sitting in the stands, looking around at the familiar faces I have known for nearly two decades, I was feeling very nostalgic about it all.
That said, Iâm also relieved and ready to have this intensive part of parenting in the backseat. D24 is not an easy kid to parent, and her journey to this point has been emotionally exhausting. While I know that I will worry about her in new ways while sheâs away at school, it will be a bit of a relief to not have every single mini crisis in my face all of the time.
In other news, she picked her dorm room. She is opting to go random on roommates, and she chose a quad because she wanted an air conditioned building (her time slot is late in the process so most of the choice rooms, suites, buildings were unavailable). As of last night, she still did not have info on who she will be rooming with. I honestly feel bad for the three that get put in there with her, because she is a complete slob. She doesnât really have any interest in room decor, so Iâm thinking pulling together her list of dorm essentials will just be something I do without her.
Finally, she still has not taken her math placement exam. She keeps saying âItâs fine, I have until June 28thâ, and she is that kid that somehow always gets it done, but it is making me a little crazy. This is just one example of the things I am looking forward to not having any visibility into once she is away at school.
16 Likes
S24 started his internship last week, is halfway through the free core curriculum course his college offers (to ED students) and is having his first meeting with his advisor tomorrow.
Late nights with friends, GF and trying to get in as much fun as possible.
It is insane how they are part of our core existence for 17-18 years and then you have to suddenly let go of so many things - mentally and physically.
I am struggling with this! He is asserting his independence in ways that feel normal to him.
10 Likes
Hi all, any recommendations for boots for men, coming form warmer weather and leans towards a more preppy style. Slip-on, tall, short, laces, no clue whatâs fashionable?
Hear rain is more concern over snow in Providence. So priority to waterproof and then warmth I think.
I hear ya on this. My D24 has some alcohol, drug, and sexual safety training modules online still to complete for her school. Itâs due 7/1. Sheâs completed some, but thereâs still some to complete and I just want to yell, âHURRY THE HECK UP ALREADY! JUST DO IT!â
2 Likes