Parents of the HS Class of 2024 (Part 2)

They use Maia which is like Scoir. I recall son choosing LOR in common app for which schools and then Scoir sending them or so I thought. For Maia, it is connected to common app but there’s no selecting which ones and doesn’t show up green like completed.

Also complicated by old school sending them to new CC so didn’t invite the people same way like last year so that might also be making it different. She’s checking in with CC to confirm all is good. I was just hoping on the first portal we’d see them there for confirmation, didn’t realize not always shown.

I think in your circumstances a polite inquiry to a college to make sure they got the LORs (or LsOR?) would not be unwarranted. They would probably notify you if they were missing, but I think they would understand why you would want to know ASAP if there was some problem getting them through the chain.

By the way, I note it seemed pretty clear to me most of S24’s colleges were using the same software provider for their portals and then just tweaking it. I don’t know exactly how the checklist portion of that software worked, but am imagining some sort of toggle system where they can choose what items to track. And I don’t actually know if it was even an option to track recommendation letters separately, but again if so my recollection was that was not on his lists.

But we did use SCOIR and that did tell us. And if Maia told you that would be great, but since it doesn’t–again, to me checking with a college at least the first time to make sure it is all working smoothly makes sense to me.

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We are also in the “what’s my major?” debate

Came in as History thinking about one or more languages and eventually doing a masters in Information / Library Science and careers in archives, museums, public history, and/or historic preservation.

The we entertained maybe a dual major with a line of sight to a specific job like in Gov & Politcs or some kind of Policy major like Public Policy or Urban Planning (a hobby)

What helped was him reaching out to people we know in each fields and solidifying his interest in archives etc. fortunately his current school UMd and our instate flagship Rutgers both have top MIS/MILS masters programs

So, I think we have come full circle to History plus probably a self designed major of info science and languages. We’ll see…

‘Round and ‘round we go…

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Below is some advice to students that I think is particularly useful for underclassmen to keep in mind as they consider major options. This article actually inspired my daughter to apply to the institution she attends; she wanted to be able to learn from the professor who penned it.

First and foremost, remember that there are many ways to be extraordinary. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that ability in a particular discipline lies along a single axis, and that any two people in that discipline can be lined up and compared. But getting stuck in this mindset discourages cooperation and leads to a sense of competition, a feeling that we have to demonstrate that we’re better or more capable than those around us, and a constant fear of not measuring up. Just as importantly, this attitude is contrary to the history of scholarship in many disciplines.

That history makes clear that major contributions come from people working together and bringing very different configurations of talents and skills to the table. Some are fast calculators. Others soak up knowledge and become walking libraries. Some are doggedly persistent, sticking to a problem for months or years until they make progress on it. Others have fantastic powers of focus and concentration. Some are inspirational leaders or collaborators. Others are brilliant explainers, capable of building intellectual bridges that make it possible for newcomers to join the effort and for experts to reach new vistas. Some are highly creative, able to set forth in directions that nobody else can see. Others are methodical and logical, catching mistakes that others make and identifying loopholes in calcified wisdom. Some are slow but deep thinkers, turning ideas over and over again in their heads until they discover new connections or unlock old mysteries.

Most are just plain lucky — they find themselves in the right place at the right time with the right set of skills to learn what they need to know and contribute appropriately when their field is ripe for a breakthrough or discovery.

If you love what you’re learning, if you find it beautiful and captivating, don’t worry about whether you’re going to be extraordinary at it — or what kind of extraordinary you might be. Embrace the risk of pursuing what interests you anyway. And, above all, never leave behind something you love doing just because you’re afraid you might not be great at it someday.

Another piece of advice is that the best way to learn a subject is to ask naive questions. Don’t just ask about a complicated step in a calculation or point out a mistake in a lecture. Ask what words and definitions mean. Ask whether there are alternative ways to think about concepts. Ask for clarification of vague arguments. Ask whether there are easier ways to do things. Ask why things are the way they are. If you’re just plain confused, say so, and ask for further explanation.

If you have these kinds of questions, it’s highly likely that your classmates are also thinking about them, so you’ll be doing everyone a favor by going out on a limb and asking. If you don’t feel comfortable asking questions in class, ask during office hours, or by email. If you’re afraid of looking silly or simple-minded, confront that fear head-on by asking anyway. Confronting our fears is how we build courage — it’s how we grow.

Growth also requires not being too attached to a fixed idea of what your career has to look like. Some of us enter School with a strong sense of who we want to be, and what sort of path we have ahead of ourselves. It can be comforting to have a well-defined sense of purpose, but it can also lead us away from directions that might be much more fulfilling.

Make sure to give yourself real opportunities to explore other disciplines. Be ambitious in trying things out, but be willing to pull back if you’ve taken on too much.

If you find beauty where you didn’t expect it, if you find yourself drawn toward surprising directions, don’t be afraid to follow those threads. Give yourself permission to move off of your previously defined trajectory. You’ll get far more satisfaction out of focusing on what you genuinely love to do than on whom you feel like you’re supposed to be. And you’ll find that being even slightly closer to resonance in your choice of field can make an enormous difference in your enjoyment and productivity.

Finally, be sure not to race through the basics of your subject. Even if you feel like you’ve seen it all before, it’s likely that your understanding will be far more nuanced the second or third time around. You can build up a tremendous amount of intuition by taking the time to think carefully about the foundations of your subject, making logical connections, and formulating the fundamental conceptual ingredients in an arrangement that feels more sensible to you, on your own terms.

At the same time, keep in mind that balance is important, so don’t prioritize fortifying the foundations of your understanding over getting messy. Don’t worry about having to understand every single detail if it means circling around a problem endlessly. Jump in and start trying things. Uncovering new ideas inevitably requires wandering around in the dark to some degree, and the earlier you get used to it, the less scary it will seem.

— Jacob Barandes

Lecturer on Physics
Co-director of Graduate Studies for Physics

Link to article: Advice on how to get the most out of education — Harvard Gazette

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^^That is beautiful.

I wanted to share a quick update about S24. His school is on the quarter system and so he’s been in classes for only about 5 or so weeks.

I’m thrilled for him bc he’s making friends, enjoying classes and getting involved.

He’s told us for awhile that he wants to do research with a professor. A couple of weeks ago, S24 applied to do research with a very popular professor and was almost immediately rejected.

Instead of getting frustrated, S24 reached out to another professor who came to speak at a club that he’s joined. This professor is just opening a new lab. S24 shared that he wants to do research in the professor’s field but was clear that he has no prior experience. (I know a lot of kids do research in hs but should that be required?? As it turns out, no!)

This professor emailed him back very quickly, interviewed him a few days later and has now accepted him for research. The lab opens officially this winter or spring but S24 will attend weekly meetings starting now with others doing research in the field. He attended his first one yesterday and now has an official student ID for the med school. So happy for him.

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D24 met w/her faculty advisor last week to discuss what classes to enroll in for next semester. Spring semester enrollment is this week. She’s going to take 2nd semester bio & general chem, an English class, and a French class.

She’s grown up a lot since we dropped her off in August. Wisely decided to not go to Halloween parties last Thursday because she didn’t want to miss her Fri morning classes.

Roommate is giving her a ride to the airport when D24 flies home for Thanksgiving.

There was some chem class drama recently. A couple of students got caught cheating in class during the most recent exam, so now the professor is switching to paper tests. Professor is head of the dept. D24 thought the students cheating was “super dumb. Like, most people in this class are pre-med and how are you going to get through O Chem if you don’t understand general chem? And they’re going to be brought in front of the academic integrity committee. Like, I hope that was worth it. So you fail a test. Just take the hit and learn from it and do better next time.”

It was interesting to hear her point of view. I told her about how my sister was involved sometimes in interviewing candidates at a Big Law firm she used to work at…they’d require applicants to submit copies of transcripts. And if there was any academic dishonesty items on the transcript, they’d ask the candidate to explain it in the interview, but usually ended up not giving the person the job because of that one issue.

D24 is making plans to get together w/some HS friends when she’s here for Thanksgiving. Am glad she’s doing that. :slight_smile: Some family friends are going to join us here at Thanksgiving, so we are all looking forward to that.

In the land known as “my DH has lost his mind about scooters,” there was a big dose of reality last Saturday. There was a fatal motorcycle accident at a stop light at the entrance to our neighborhood. Motorcycle collided with a large pick up truck. 2 people on the motorcycle. Driver of motorcycle is in the hospital; motorcycle passenger died at the scene. No idea if they were wearing helmets or not (our state doesn’t require helmets). So that was really sobering.

Hope everybody’s kids are doing well.

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So the NiceUnparticulars are back from our Parents Weekend trip that turned into a Go to S24’s Tournament Weekend instead.

And that was a blast! It was obvious S24 was having a ton of fun, and lots of the older boys made the time to come up to us and introduce themselves and say they were happy S24 was on the team. Just a really great experience.

Meanwhile we had Friday evening in St Louis free, so rather than try to pack in a few events, S24 made use of having access to drivers with a rental car (and a credit card) to pump up his dorm decor a bit. As I believe I mentioned at some point, he is in what was originally a triple, but they only assigned two kids, so it is quite spacious for just the two of them. And in fact during move-in we had all sorts of suggestions about what he could do with the room, but he was not interested.

Now, however, he has apparently been getting a lot of snarky comments about how the room is wasted on them since they have done nothing with it. So as usual, parental advice was ignored, but peer pressure has won the day.

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I love your kid’s comment about cheating. This kind of truth-talk warms my regional-prof-battling-ChatGPT heart! In other words, my child has been exploring the college life. No harm done in the end, but she’s giving her mom palpitations! And there will be no more details. :zipper_mouth_face: :smile:

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D24 continues to be enjoying her experience, has made some real friends, connections with faculty, and is registering this week for spring classes. She currently has her first college cold - she managed to avoid the September barrage of HFM and COVID (and got her covid/flu vax over break) that hit campus, but I sent her with a box of meds and instructions and she’s managing well.
I sent her a very cheap projector (under 40 bucks with a lightning deal - honestly the dongle to connect to her device was the costlier piece!) and she and friends have been working through the Harry Potter movies using that, so I think it’s been a hit.

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Had an interesting call with S24 today, he’s really discerning med school versus MPH. He’s had lots of meetings with profs and physicians in the area and I guess it’s led to a lot of self-reflection.

He’s drawn to system side somewhat over patient care, but I also saw how he absolutely lit up doing patient care as an EMT, so I think he loves both. If he gets lucky and gets campus EMT role maybe help too as it’s been awhile since he was in it.

His biggest concern is he doesn’t want to take a gap year, he’s eager to move through it, thinking about earning potential for both options, and quality of life for a family someday. A family member is a COO at a Ivy+ university hospital and he’s had some exposure to their career path too which he’s always found intriguing.

He said he’s still 85-90% on the med school path, but just really wants to be sure. I’d say he’s thinking about all the right things, short-term and long-term, just wild that it feels so “pressing” so early on if you even want option of no gap year. Very glad he didn’t pursue BS/MD more, he was the last I’d predict to even remotely question (glad he is), so just hard for a young person to truly know and he was fortunate to have had direct, intense patient care prior.

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I visited my D24 last weekend in lieu of Family Weekend which will be in February. She wanted a visit and I was happy to oblige. We had a lovely time walking campus, grabbing lunch and breakfast at a few different cafes in town, and cooking dinner for two of her friends at my Airbnb about a mile from campus. She’s thriving in a place that seems to be a great fit. Loves her class(es), thinks she may know what she wants to major in and will register for spring semester classes in light of that choice. She made me tea in her dorm room, filled out her ballot (which I brought back and popped in the ballot box yesterday here in our state where everyone votes by mail-in ballot) read to me from one of her favorite books she read for her first year seminar “Mama, I think you’d love this book.” I flew home knowing that she’s already grown so much and is doing well (and with recommended book in my carry-on bag).

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D24 went to the polls, registered on-site and voted for the first time! Democracy in action.

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Had a chance to remind S24 how awesome I was during college tours. He told me a mom and daughter were touring school attempting to get in building and he met at door going in. Mom stopped him to ask him about his gpa, extracurriculars, how he liked school. Spoke for 5 minutes and said daughter was absolutely mortified.

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Got some recent proof of life from The Child. Inquiries from her included things like:

  • “Could you check on Amazon to see if the spicy ramen got delivered yet?”
  • “Have you mailed out the Korean spicy ramen to me yet? You know, the package that I ordered which Amazon delivered to our house instead of school.” No. Why? because I’ve been busy. “Doing what?” Working so we can pay for your college education. :joy:
  • “Mama, power is out all over campus because somebody drove into an electrical pole or something. So hopefully my lab this afternoon will be cancelled. Oh wait…the power just came back on. Darn it. Ok, bye.”
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D24 signed up for spring semester classes, is going to take 2nd semester bio, 2nd semester general chem, an ‘intro to interpreting literature’ english class (w/same professor who she has this semester for the sci fi class), and beginning French 2 (taking it w/her roommate). Said she’ll have labs on Tues afternoon & Thurs mornings. MW is 4 back to back classes in a row. Yuck. Will have same chem professor as this semester (she chose that prof on purpose, likes his teaching style).

Kid said she did poorly on the most recent chem exam, but can do a retake by going to 3 wk of tutoring for 2 hr/week, which she’s currently doing.

My kids miss each other. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Am grateful that they get along well. :slight_smile: I need to get off my butt and go buy a turkey for Thanksgiving. :turkey:

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We’ve been having the scheduling conversation too. Honestly it sounds like S24 is lucking out again–all the lectures for his four classes would be on MWF, three back to back 9-12, and then one 1-2. A bit compact, but then he just has labs and recitations on T/TH, and no late afternoon/evening days at all, and plenty of time for his club sport practices.

Substantively, he is swapping in the beginning of the Bio for majors/premeds sequence and Calc III (MVC), replacing College Writing and Micro (but carrying on with Chem for majors/premeds and higher-level Latin). There is a world in which one might worry this is a lot at once, including all the STEM. But I think he is VERY prepared for Bio and MVC thanks to prior course work, he sees Latin as fun, and knock on wood Chem seems to be going well.

And frankly, he has not loved his College Writing or Micro courses–the former because I think he sees it as remedial and really does not love papers anyway, and Micro he loved the subject but not the prof.

In the back of my mind I am also aware the club sports are going to kick up too–but he is excited about it all and seems confident at the moment he can handle the time management, so fingers crossed.

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We’ve gotten to the point in C24’s education where I literally don’t have advice for them: they’re debating whether to take 18 credits and get a job (preferably in a position related to one of their majors) or 20 credits with the understanding that they won’t work. I want them to have a job, but on the other hand, they only get 4 years to learn everything they can about as many subjects as they can. I guess they can’t go wrong with either decision.

We were at Parent’s Weekend this past weekend, and it was so cool to get a glimpse into C24’s life. They seemed to like showing us around campus and letting us see all of the things that they’re doing, like volunteering at the on-campus kitten rescue. One night, we got to see the opera put on by the students at the Conservatory. Not only were the kids amazingly talented, but it was kind of a kick seeing how excited the students in the audience were to scream for their friends. It was all delightfully nerdy. I’m so glad that this is the school where C24 landed.

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Yesterday chem midterm 2 scores were released and S24’s was missing. It happened to others too, somehow the scans were off and it’s being resolved swiftly. I was mostly worried he’d be flustered from it as he had to go to MVC midterm soon after.

Today D25 is on a field trip to see some of the works of art covered in AP Art History in person, pretty incredible experience.

Now I need to check-in when scheduling happens after reading recent posts.

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My kid has met with her advisor, registered for spring semester classes, and filled out her housing application for next year. She’s gone grocery shopping with her bike as her transport for block break groceries, is using the dorm kitchen to cook her meals during this break as dining hall food is limited and not to her liking. She’s on the ball, and knows it. Proud kid and parent.

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Things seem to be going somewhat better for S24. He found out that he can graduate in 3 years if he wants and still go abroad for a semester. I hope that is’t what he chooses, but I think it has given him a sense of control which is good. He joined the ski club and has decided he’ll race this year - I thought he was done with that after HS but he has decided to give it a whirl instead of being just a social member. Fortunately, I didn’t sell his race suit!!

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