I know it’s not the same, but sentiment may help a little. Heard a professor say it’s best to get a B as early as possible especially if you’ve never had one before. Nothing is going to be “perfect” and now that notion is gone, so you get to learn to course correct where needed early and take of the pressure of being “perfect” and hopefully dig into loving the learning even more than the grade.
He’ll never do it again I am sure!
Replied to wrong person and don’t know how to fix it, sorry!
wow, sorry that happened but how amazing to finish the first semester with only 1 B!
Happy tears as he wanted this so bad and it’s so small and competitive, S24 is a new member of Brown EMS! 
Some day he will laugh over this, but in the moment, definitely a huge bummer!
…and 7 hours later, she’s still asleep. 
I’m envying all you with your kiddo home. S24 is reporting finals going well, so that is something, but we don’t get him back until Tuesday.
Mine has last 2 finals on Friday the 20th, flying out Saturday. Wish he didn’t have 2 on same day, especially with math grade hanging in the balance to the degree it is.
S24 arrived home last night very relieved to be home and have this first semester behind him. It has been exhausting, emotional and overwhelming for sure. Lots of tearful phone calls, lots of self doubt about pretty much everything. He will be seeing a therapist next week (and throughout the month home) to help him sort through all of these feelings. He is feeling conflicted mostly about the fact that he has made amazing friends and loves the people at school, but academically it is really a struggle and hates the concept of the the “core” where he is forced to take classes he has zero interest in. Needless to say I am relieved he is home and praying he can reset and recharge this month. We have a lot to talk about and sort through.
On a positive note, he has really struggled with math all semester. He started twice weekly private tutoring and managed to get an 82 on the final which is HUGE for him. That was a nice confidence booster. He also got off the waiting list for a class for the spring semester that he needs. Part of his stress is that every class he needs was full by the time it got to be his time slot to register for spring, so the added stress of not having a schedule for next semester really added fuel to the fire.
Anyway, wanted to share and I am sure he is not the only kid that had a challenging semester, emotionally and academically. We keep reminding him that challenge can be uncomfortable but he can do hard things and we are here to support him. As a parent, that is all I can do- he has to get through this in one way or another and my job is to give him the support he needs. It has been hard for me as I of course have had plenty of anxiety and tears myself this semester.
Winter break is definitely a time of reflect, recharge, and reset.
Mine had no final exams, so came home on Monday, my own school has finals until the 20th and she is the first home of all her HS friends, so she is anxiously awaiting their return, so far break has been sleeping in and long drives - she doesn’t have her own car, and the money saved on gas while she was at school was probably equivalent to one of our monthly tuition payments!
No grades yet, she insists it will be fine - because of her own neurodiversity I will forever worry, and there were definitely moments of stress for me over the last semester - that Labor Day weekend was one, where she texted and said “I am not having a good time” was one, and because I KNOW how college is (I assume by your username, you do too) I listened and advised as best I could. Back then it was counting down until 12/6 when she could come home, but by the time December arrived, she asked me to get her on 12/9 instead so she could spend the weekend with her friends. I will fully exhale when grades are posted, but now that she’s home she’s missing school, which is a place I wasn’t sure she’d be at a few months ago.
D24 is home! She successfully used a Lyft to the airport, got through airport security, and to her gate on time. Woo! Her little sister is working today at Walmart 10-6, so D24 and I are going shopping for a winter coat for D24 plus going to the children’s choir Christmas concert…and they let alumni sing in 2 of the songs. DH will be joining us for lunch at a Chinese restaurant that has soup dumplings on the menu. We’ve never been to the place but one of my work colleagues says this restaurant is really good.
D24 brought home dirty clothes and I washed them for her. 
She thinks she did ok on her chem final. Grades come out on 12/19.
I note as we have discussed at various points in this ongoing conversation, serious struggles–academically, socially, or both–and emotional up and downs is very normal for kids making the transition to college. But because people are much more likely to share happy stories, particularly in social media, I think some kids and parents can get the false impression it is not so normal.
So I think it is great whenever people do share these stories. Including because often, the story does end well, in that with time and adjustments and seeking whatever help they need, the kid learns how to succeed in college, both academically and non-academically.
I’d add that of her friends (and this is for sure anecdata) the ones in the super selective schools are (in her words) “not having a great experience.” High pressure/ stress/ drinking culture that she hasn’t run into in her Kirkland Signature SLAC. She has been pitching her school to HS friends that are seniors now, and is flabbergasted they aren’t biting, but chasing the golden ring. My incantations of “accredited and affordable is the dream school” worked, I guess.
Love this phrase! Costco quality 4eva!
No kidding. Same deal with my S24’s peer group. And I am trying to sneak this thought into college choice conversations whenever I can–the kids who got into, and then chose, the most selective colleges are not necessarily having the best college experiences so far.
But yeah, trying to convince the sorts of kids who have been very successful through HS that things can get a lot rougher when you go to a college filled with other kids just like that can be a tough sell. Logically they should accept that is an obvious possibility. But it can be hard to get them to really seriously consider that possibility when they have never experienced something like that before.
More seriously, I think the first year of college highlights how important ‘fit’ is at any/every college. Every college (no matter how highly ranked) isn’t the right fit for every student (no matter how smart, driven and qualified).
Absolutely.
And to be fair, you may really try to choose a college that seems like a good fit, and you could still be wrong. And sometimes you might still need to transfer and such, and if that is the best path forward for you, that will be fine.
But you should at least take your best shot going in. And that can require some serious discipline if peers, family, and such are pressuring you to make a different sort of choice.
Yep, fit isn’t talking about merch.
Both her HS bestie and now her college bestie were rejected ED from the same super selective SLAC, and so she has a clear view of how their plan B’s are working, which is also an interesting perspective. (HS kid went lateral, college kid went down a step (or two) in selectivity, and she thinks the college friend is happier with their choice than maybe the HS friend.)
snappity–Although we are all about the merch over here in our SEC corner of the college world! Almost every single relative is getting it for Christmas. Good thing nobody went to a rival SEC school. 
Our S24 was basically given no choice about buying us merch from one of his club sports teams for our Xmas gifts. It is cool stuff, way better than the normal WashU merch (much of which seems to be basically trying to win an Ugly Sweater contest).
I have heard rumors that NiceUnparticularMom might be involved in some sort of dubious kickback scheme, but as a member of the bar, I don’t want to know . . . .
Very much agree with this about stories we share.
I also feel that struggling academically does not automatically mean it was not the right fit.
S24 is what one may consider to be struggling academically at a school that is known to be a grind but he has never been happier.
There is a certain level of stress he feels with things not coming in as easy as it has in the past at his run of the mill public school but he would not exchange it for the world.