This is the first year that I dont have S21 needing to fly home for the holidays and it is a huge relief. Flying from a reagional airport into a huge one was always an issue but this year I am sure he would not have made it.
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So it has been a rather challenging time for the NiceUnparticulars. NiceUnparticularMom has been making weekly visits to Boston to see her brother who was hospitalized after a major brain event, and who is looking at a long and uncertain rehabilitation process. She is really it in terms of people who will actually visit him in Boston (he lives in Delaware and was just visiting).
My mother then passed away this Monday after a long period with dementia and the related physical health declines. Fortunately it was very peaceful for herāhospice did a great jobāand I am spending a lot of time helping out my brother and sister who were local for her.
But I also resolved to at least try not to short D30 on her boarding school search process. As people here know, this was my thing for S24 and his college search, and NiceUnparticularMom really couldnāt take over anyway in light of her brother. So we are making it work.
And frankly to me it is a nice distractionāI just like schools, like hearing about them, like hearing kids talk about them, like visiting, like talking to D30 about them, it is all a real pleasure to me.
Fortunately, S24 is reportedly doing well, and is mostly self-supporting, although NiceUnparticularMom got a talking-to when she forgot to send him Halloween candy like she did last year. This massive oversight has been corrected. And we get him back at the end of next week for a nice long Thanksgiving break, which we are very much looking forward to.
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Oh, I do have a somewhat amusing anecdote as well.
S24 and a bunch of friends from a club team wanted to rent an off campus house next year, both for themselves but also because the club team has been feeling the lack of such a location for social events this year, unlike in prior years. Another club team parent actually has some suitable rentals, and has rented houses to the team before, so this was all looking smooth.
However, different kids have different plans for the summer and semesters abroad. Back in my day, at least as I remember it, this was simple: you committed to your share during the lease term, and if you wanted to try to get a substitute while you were not there, that was fine subject to house approval.
And I think the kids were leaning that way, and then other parents got involved.
Long story short, they went through at least three different phases of trying to write up in advance who would pay how much and when based on various possible contingencies, but each time they appeared close, someoneās parents would refuse to cosign. Not the NiceUnparticulars, true to our family branding we were not particular about how it got done. But other parents apparently were more particular.
Eventually it basically came back around to where it started, and everyone finally signed. And I am pretty sure what will actually happen will be different from what the document says, but thatās fineāeveryone now feels adequately āprotectedā in the event of the need to further negotiate.
But I do feel for the poor club parent who was just trying to get this done for the boys. She was extremely patient. Athough talking to her later, she did say that generally the team has made for great tenantsāno problems with rent, calling if there was a problem, leaving it in good shape, and so on. But still, we definitely pushed it in a way I am pretty sure a normal landlord would not have tolerated.
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Condolences to you and your family on your momās passing and prayers or your BILās recovery.
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@NiceUnparticularMan Iām so sorry to hear about this challenging season your family is in.
Glad to hear S24 is having another good semester.
Re: signing the leaseā¦my D20ās friend and roommate passed away mid-year when they were living in a shared off-campus apartment (1 lease, 2 signees, 2 guarantors). Aside from all of the horror of it all, it created a financial hardship for our family as there was a large penalty for breaking the lease (no way was my D going to continue living there alone) that we paid on top of then having to unexpectedly pay for a semester of on-campus room and board. After that, I have insisted that my kids only rent in situations where each tenant signs an individual agreement with the owner/landlord. So, I do understand some of the hesitancy among the other parents. Glad you all got it sorted out nonetheless!
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I actually totally get why they didnāt want to co-sign something that could potentially put them on the hook for a lot more than intended. So I donāt have a problem with the basic motivation, it was more just one of those herding cats situations where everyone had their own ideas for the best way to handle that, each of which seemed reasonable to me.
And we did get there. These are all good kids and good parents. It just took a minute.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. May her memory be a blessing. My condolences to your family and all who knew her.
Best wishes to your BIL during his recovery.
May the search process bring you wonderful moments with D30 and I hope that Mrs. NiceUnparticular is able to spend time with S24 / the whole family when he comes home and that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving together.
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Sorry to hear that your family is going through all that! Thatās really hard. 
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Thank you!
We just got back from a great long weekend in the DC area, visiting a couple boarding schools, seeing some friends, maybe a cocktail or three, monuments, a museum, the zoo . . . nothing quite like a panda showing off for the crowd.
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D24 is flying home for Thanksgiving tomorrow! Her college has all of Thanksgiving week off. Weāre looking forward to spending some time with her.
This semester is going well; much better than spring semester of freshman year. Sheās gotten out of her shell more, sounds happier, more confident. She got enrolled for next semesterās classes, will be retaking the chemistry class that she failed last spring. Said that sheās been using some different study habits & tools this year that she didnāt know about last school year.
Her roommate is withdrawing and is going to transfer elsewhere. Apparently the college has a policy where if a student withdraws, once the withdrawal paperwork is approved, you have 48 hours to move out of the on campus housing. So thatās happening very soon. D24 & her roommate have plans to remain in contact & remain friends.
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Just a quick drive by to say 3 of my 4 went to boarding school (and one of them went to two boarding schools!). We visited and considered over 25 across the application years so donāt hesitate to reach out (or search all my millions of comments over on the prep school side.) oh also Iām a Mercersburg mom and a huge fan!
I also have two daughter at same school now @NE710 ā a freshman and sophomore at usc but one at Marshall (business) and one at Viterbi (engineering). (We also have twins but twin of freshman ended up choosing Berkeley so the two at USC are a year apart.)
Anyway like my good friend @DroidsLookingFor kids, my kids are at a large school where they never cross paths academically. But very randomly they are in the same dorm building! The freshman got early admission so submitted for housing in the village which is more sophomores. Anyway funny how it worked out.
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Thatās not actually new - I had a college friend that did it. I understand it was a fun time.
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Iām so sorry to hear about your mom - it is tough losing a parent. Iām glad her passing was peaceful. I hope your BIL is getting good treatment in Boston - if there is a place to be stricken with something, you canāt do much better in terms of medical care. Wishing a peaceful holiday to you and your family.
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Iāve been off these boards for the most part, but always enjoy an @ from a friend! I canāt find @NE710 ās original comment to which youāre replying for whatever reason, but, our twins are at UMich together and as @Calliemomofgirls theyāre in very different academic and social areas, but now find time to go to the gym together, which is sort of sweet. Iād add that it may be possible for your STEMy kid to go abroad during a summer? Thatās what ours did this last summer. Took for-credit classes toward his UMich major, in Madrid.
@NiceUnparticularMan so sorry to hear about all that. Hopefully things in NiceUnparticularLand are brighter from here on out. On semi-related notes: I wonder if we were at the same club tournament. We flew out for it and our son was similarly cooked afterwards. He lives with 3 other teammates btw, and theyāre cooking up a way to take the other 4-person apartment in the house for more teammates next year. Fortunately weāve been completely spared from the āwho pays whatā conversations.
Also, I know you know, but our kids were also at BS so am happy to offer up whatever you might find helpful for DC30 (!) Regardless, good luck with that exploration. Interested to see how that all plays out for you.
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D30ās boarding school search has gone well in that in addition to S24ās HS (which has a 5-day boarding option she would definitely consider), she picked five more to visit, including thanks to helpful leads from this community, passed along by me. I believe all the ones she picked would be classified as āHidden Gemsā (although I am not 100% sure I have the terminology down).
She has now visited three of those so far, and liked them all a lot! She wisely is refusing to tell us any sort of order of preference (on the logic of not wanting to be disappointed by results), but is going to be happily applying to all.
We have the three more visits/interviewsāthe two requiring travel and then the local optionāand it would definitely be nice if they all went as well!
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My D24 comes home on Monday, and Iām so happy sheāll be here. She walked in her first runway show with the university modeling clubāit was pretty much nothing but fun, since what she was used to doing in high school is capering around on pointe shoes! They put her in very extreme makeup (costume-like), which at first disappointed her, but ended up being good. Anything that stretches her comfort level strengthens her independence from other peopleās opinions. 
Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!
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It was great getting S24 back last night. Apparently his last Orgo exam went well and he is feeling better in general about how the semester is likely to finish. He did crash out early on the sofa while we were still in the room, though. Tired kid.
Meanwhile, at dinner D30 decided to take on a 16 oz prime rib. The steak won in the end, but she is definitely feeling up for new challenges . . . .
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Thank you to you & @Calliemomofgirls ā I was wondering what it might be like to have siblings at the same school, how common is this etc. I do have twins, but they are at different colleges. My youngest has applied ED to the same school where one of her brothers is: WashU. (Fingers crossed!!!) He has had a truly fantastic all around experience there thus far, but really she fell in love with it the day we dropped him off for his first year. It was a surprise to us allāeven to her, as everyone thought sheād stay close to home because that is what sheās always said. And indeed, every other college on her list is in our state. So we shall see.
Our other S24, who started this semester off not-so-great, just got home last night and is in a far better place. We are beyond relieved. It looks like there will be, miraculously, no longterm issues as a result of his accident. That is what we will be thankful for this year.
I hope you all enjoy your time with your kiddos if they can get home for the holiday (we have some friends whose kids are so far away for college with tight schedules who canāt fly back, so I donāt take it for granted).
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Iām actually visiting D24 today. She has pep band this weekend so Iām going to her game today. Yesterday was S22ās senior day for the BAMA marching band so I went down for that as well. D24 and I fly home tomorrow. It will be nice having her around for the week. We have lots to talk about as far as classes and summer plans. I hope sheās ready for that.
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Iām envious of those of you who have their kiddos home for an extended Tgiving week visit. D24 arrives home tomorrow and is going back Saturday morning. It will be a quick one, and apparently, she has a ton of work to do, with assignments and projects due by Sunday 
Oh well, Iām just excited to see her, hug her and feed her for a couple of days, at least.
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