I get that. Depending on the options there are different things you might prefer to compromise.
S24 has an incredible ability to box everything out. At this point he will not waste any energy until he knows what his choices are. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all like that?
Once we had actual options, it was easy to know which two were three were actual contenders. We scheduled visits in what I thought would be order of preference. After loving the first visit we cancelled the others, which was my hope.
I haven’t had a post blow back on me like that since I told what I thought was an innocent story about losing and then “finding” a stuffy, which then triggered about a weeks worth of stuffy posts that had me in constant tears . . . .
So you are telling me I need to do the opposite if I want to sample the maximum number of restaurants chosen for their interesting cocktail lists . . . got it.
I give this advice, in various forms, all the time. I cannot seem to embody it however!
My former producing partner was a very talented screenwriter who nevertheless had a penchant for using the old “overhearing the message while recording on an answering machine” cliche. Like, come on man, this isn’t a period piece.
D24 technically has 6 still in the running, and at the moment she is not ready to let any of them go. In fact, she is kinda moving in the opposite direction and now wants to do an admitted students day at one place and a first visit to another (one of the handful she applied to without visiting). Spring break college trip is back on!
However, I really REALLY want her to officially drop Northeastern. NU.in and no merit makes it a non-starter for her situation, but she doesn’t want to let it go. It doesn’t help that they had the NU.in locations announcement recently, so it was in her face. It wouldn’t be if she turned down the offer.
She was mad at me for “repeating the same negative things” about it (i.e. the reasons it cannot happen, and my frustration with some of its marketing). She doesn’t want to hear it. No D24, graduating in 3 years to reduce the total price is impossible with your major. No D24, you cannot work full time while in school to reduce parent out of pocket.
I need her to try to figure out what is making this place sparkle for her, because I don’t get it. It’s not the highest ranked of her acceptances. She has never been to Boston and says it’s not that. Travel abroad is very common for her major and will be possible at any of her other choices.
So what is it? I have recently seen her noting where various other students are accepted/planning to attend and I wonder if that kind of thing is starting to get in her head.
Maybe it’s the fact that none of the choices are 100% perfect, and it’s easier to focus on the unattainable than confront the reality of making the final choice. I really thought last week she was close to making her decision, and asked if we should put down an enrollment deposit to get on the list for housing, and then whooooooosh now we are making spring break college visits at different colleges and idealizing NU.
This process is so much harder (mentally) than I ever expected. I am almost as conflicted as she is, though for different reasons.
My D24 was deferred from Northeastern, so I keep an eye on their news. They are hard to love! (unless you are a first-response Boston admit with decent funding, I suppose). I couldn’t believe it when I read that you have to drop a $1200 non-refundable deposit just to see what your kid’s OPTIONS are for NU.in locations. Yikes! Sending good vibes that your D24 starts seeing the weirdness–unless they reverse course and offer her Boston and full funding.
S24 has seven schools he still considering, plus 4 RD reaches he’s waiting on. I haven’t been able to get him to drop any of the seven.
After a positive (first) visit to the state flagship last weekend, I tried again, and he wasn’t ready to let any of them go. But when I told him we would need to schedule visits or revisits to any that he was seriously considering so that he could have the information he needed to make a decision, he said he thinks he’s only considering the flagship (and any RD admissions) after all.
If I knew what I know now, I would have visited schools that are one notch below this ED choice. but don’t visit his ED choice. It definitely would have changed his mind and increased the chance of ED1 acceptance.
OK, now that is a real complaint. I suspect you are right about the peer thing. If so, maybe this will pass once people are admitted to a gazillion different places during the normal RD notification period.
Mentally, yes, but otherwise no plans to let the schools know (unless she ends up declining a TE offer that could immediately be offered to someone on a waiting list). She will simply deposit at the school she chooses by May 1 and let the others use their powers of deduction to figure it out.
And adding: because it is fully custom data that you enter, you can create different scenarios - i.e. you can add both “School A at full COA of $90.000” and “School A with Presidential Merit” so you compare all options.
So my D24 had her final 3 come in last week-
Of course the last one was her #1 dream, reach school which thankfully for all of us it was an acceptance but(big but) not for her intended major(nursing), but did get into health science (will be put on waiting list for nursing). So, after discussing as a family(where her only input in conversation was I don’t care I’m going), we have decided to let her get bs in health science with a general or policy track and if doesn’t get off wait list she can take an extra year and do an accelerated bsn. Everyone says you go the cheapest route to become a nurse and after an excellent scholarship offer I am so happy to say my kid will be a “cane” @ The University of Miami! We feel at this point she would be miserable to go anywhere else (knowing she could’ve gone) and it will show in her work. Not to mention what our lives would be like for the next 5 or 6 months. lol
So, we are officially done!
Good luck to all! I’m going to continue following to see where everyone ends up
D24 is feeling that too. There is some reason each school is still on the list, but for a few location is a detriment (too close or too remote), and for some a particular element of the academic experience shines while there are some questions about other aspects of the potential overall experience.
I am really hoping that the last round of visits provides some clarity. Admitted students days will hopefully give a sense of what her peers might be like from place to place, if she doesn’t already know.
D24 hasn’t officially eliminated any from her list but so far have acceptances from 13, 1 deferred and 2 awaiting RD. Got merit offers from half of them and awaiting merit/honors college decisions from others so it will be no-decisions until April in our household as she doesn’t have a favorite yet.
Since we are merit seeking, it makes it hard to forego any acceptances even though she sees herself attending at least 3 of them.
Meanwhile it will be visiting accepted student days and refining the elimination criteria one college visit at a time
You know the 3 or so potential locations based on the major before hand (it’s currently in the portal).
If you wait on depositing, you may not get the most popular location (though all the locations seem pretty nice), but it will still be one of the 3-ish locations with courses appropriate for the student’s major.
Good luck to your D24 on her regular decision results!!
