I mean, at least it wasn’t Greece.
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I’m a Kenyon alum! It’s a terrific place. They also wrote personalized acceptance letters in the 90s and I really loved that aspect. I was an English/Creative Writing major and it was a terrific experience!
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My daughter isn’t waiting for any decisions. But she did hear from scholarships from three of the top places she had on her list. A big no for all of them. We are comparing both 4-year and 5-year costs because I think she will take longer than 4 years to graduate. She wants to continue with a language, so will spread out the engineering classes. So with no big scholarship, it makes year 5 really expensive at the out-of-state places.
That will take U of Kentucky off the list completely. I’ll cancel our visit we have planned. U of Tulsa is a maybe. She applied to the International Engineering program, but hasn’t heard yet. It comes with some scholarships to make the 5th year affordable. Without that it’s a definite no, unfortunately.
I will have to confirm, but I think that puts her at either Western Michigan or UAH. She has others with great scholarships, but isn’t excited by the rest of the experience.
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Any tips on how to keep kids who are waiting positively focused these next two weeks? Seeing our kid so distracted is painful to watch! We are not bringing up anything college related, and just try to be a supportive ear every time he brings up a concern/worry of his about decisions (which is a daily thing these days)…
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Same here. Other than praying for mental strengths, I tell him everyday how proud I am as a parent to have a self motivated child that never needed any help from us. The results of any top 25 school is really out of our hands. This is my first college app process and I have to say it is very stressful, almost as bad as when c24 had 2 concussions that took six months to heal.
Another thing to add is - I also tell him everyday that I will absolutely not be disappointed if he doesn’t get in any schools he really hopes for.
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My kid has good options on the table, but there is something about this final period that is making “waiting” on these last ones so hard! hard for him to tune out the noise/buzz and collective stress of everyone else who is not done too. I’m so looking forward to late April when this whole thing is behind us - my hope is that waitlists are not on table or ignores them!
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I don’t know if this will be helpful for you but as a mom of four teenagers, the strategy I employ maybe the most during times of their stress is to lower the stakes while acknowledging how important things to them. It’s an art to lower stakes without dismissing their emotional investment. But that’s my North Star: am I both joining them in the excitement but also lowering the stakes. (So for example in our home it might look like excitement from me about visiting schools but also not buying into the narrative that this is the “one big decision” that will define your whole life or even four years. Life can pivot! We are committing to 9 months here. And we have plenty of time in life for many careers.)
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I love the way you state this! This is what we intend but this a very good reminder.
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Ha too funny! S24 hears from UGA today at 4pm. He has already committed to another school and this decision would not change anything. But it feels like a long time coming as he has heard from every other school- this is the one school where he got deferred and had to wait for RD so it feels like a looooong time. I feel for all of you waiting to hear later this month.
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I love the lowering the stakes framing.
I was talking to S24 and I said I had observed he had mostly been very chill but seemed to be getting a little more tense. He said it was really his friends who seem to be very nervous but it was hard not to have some of that carry over. And I think that is right, as usual we as parents are fighting for impact against peers, and we rarely do more than tie.
But I am sure being a voice of calm, of lowering the stakes, is a useful counterbalance.
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I read somewhere that in addition to being calm, reminding/reiterating to them that we love them and are proud of them (even though they may think it’s corny) works wonders. I did that with my son when he was waiting in Dec and it did have a positive effect. We assume they just know it and don’t need to hear it often.
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Re how to handle this time, I would shift the narrative and make it more positive. So, instead of saying, I’m not disappointed, focus on how proud you are of what they have accomplished. I wouldn’t even necessarily focus on how proud you are of the acceptances, because that’s really not the point. You are proud of the person they are, because they have become, how thoughtful and kind they are, how they support others, etc. You can also talk about how understandable it is to feel stressed during this time. Also point out that these admissions outcomes are really somewhat arbitrary and have nothing to do with the person they are and the person they will become.
Hope that helps! My D24 is committed through ED, but I’m here to support everyone!!
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One more thought! I would also focus on how proud you are of how they have navigated this very challenging process.
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A friends daughter was admitted ED to UC Boulder with a $6,250 per year merit scholarship. She sent her first semester grades of a 4.0 and they sent her an email increasing the merit award to $13,750 per year. Moral of the story even if admitted doesn’t hurt to send good senior grades to the school.
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I let S24 take a mental health day yesterday - he slept late and did nothing and felt much better for it. Sometimes they just need it.
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S24’s school has a senior trip next weekend with Friday off. They are taking trip down to Disneyland. It’s an annual things for seniors and I’m sure it’s to reduce stress.
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Currently outside of Russell Hall at UGA. Perks of having an English Prof parent—D24 is getting a peek at Special Collections at UGA
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Very cool! I was an English major at UGA back in the day…medium chance DS24 will be, too (along with music). I went to Brandeis for grad school, and he’s also applied there…interestingly nearly all my professors from grad school are still in the department there, whereas there’s no one I recognize still at UGA.
Also re: UGA–hoping for an official music decision today (academic admit EA and he’s heard positive news unofficially about music) and fingers extra crossed for music (or other!) scholarship info so we can start to make cost comparisons with his private school admits.
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Love this. Thank you. It resonates as I feel like I try to do this but it helps to see the way you present it.