If he chooses the more expensive, just remind him what he’s giving up in the future. Also compare the two - certainly they’ll be vastly different in overall size - with Honors potentially giving a smaller school within a school setting. You can make anything smaller - but it’s hard to make something else bigger.
It sounds like it was played right - in that he moved on and if he’s fallen in love with the state school, he may choose it without looking back. It often happens - people only see themselves at one place (before even starting apps) and it changes when they get a chance to peek at others - especially when the first school isn’t yet ready to make a decision which many take as a message of rejection (which it isn’t).
Best of luck whatever he decides. And congrats to him on the admission.
I am spending time in the wait by doing a LOT of sewing, it’s a very good way to distract my brain when I am at my machine. I thought for sure (based on an in-depth forensic investigation of their socials going back many years) that Wheaton would have released before now, but not yet. (although maybe they are doing one batch this year as they referenced ‘waves’ last year…) We are headed to the plan C school for an advising day on Friday, the residential CC, and she’s not excited about it, especially with these unknowns lingering. (but because of housing crunch it’s good to do this in the wait.) At least it means a swing into trader joe’s for us…
Congrats to him! We re in a similar situation. D24 was originally admitted to a liberal arts program rather than the business school she wanted at one of her top choices. While we celebrated the acceptance (sort of a reach school) we moved on. Well, last week they reached out to say that they now have a spot for her in the business school and they are updating her acceptance. While I am so happy for her, we too were so close to a decision! Now we head back for another visit this Friday.
So I understand your mixed feelings! Best of luck with your decision!!!
Congratulations to your daughter! Always nice to get that acceptance! But the further delays in decision making is so hard!! That said, I am grateful to have a good problem.
My DS28 got into his top choice BS. His second choice waitlisted him but he doesn’t even want to think why. My DD 24 is still awaiting decisions. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the next 2 weeks. But reflecting on my life whenever I experienced a failure it made me stronger or the chosen path turned out better. Also, a rejection just reflects the competitiveness of the pool and how the AO wants to round out the class. There is always a chance to go there in future.
Yes. My kid has firm commitments the first three weekends of April. So it’s pretty bad. No clue how we would manage visits yet. Obviously they don’t have to be admitted student days but she was excited for that type of programming. Hoping there will be some midweek dates she can go.
Saturday, April 13 is a really tough one - tons of schools have their only admitted students day on that date, especially in CA. Others are more spread out, and frustratingly many are on weekdays. We’ll make it work as needed but ugh. And if we can’t we plan to do what @kaslew did - direct outreach to plan our own visits.
I’ve decided not to fret. C24 had some early-admit schools with admitted student days this month, and we decided to take them to those schools so they’d have the experience.
For the rest of the schools, there is both overlap and conflict with C’s other commitments (they have Saturday rehearsals and then the actual show weekend). We’ll prioritize as needed, and if C needs to see a school where there’s a conflict, we’ll just have to go see it on a different day.
Very true. Their first adult realization that the system doesn’t always “reward” effort and potential the way we think it should…we as parents can only hold their hands and reassure them that they ARE enough.
I feel this so much @MAmomto4! 10 acceptances so far – great schools, but mostly in the likely category; a couple of higher targets and one or two low reaches. Could be great options! But her heart probably wants one of the 7 truly reach-ier schools that are about to come out. And to make things more complicated – there are a couple of those reach-ier schools that she has decided maybe she doesn’t love as much anymore, so she has a lot of hopes riding on a slim selection of highly rejective schools.
Background: this past summer her college priorities changed, so that informed her school choices drastically. Since she is at BS, we couldn’t cram in a bunch of new school visits this fall. So, she applied to most schools without seeing them (hence applying to a ton of schools). So now, as she is considering options, waiting for all the decisions, she is stuck looping in her head, looking at tik tok accounts, etc. I think it’s all starting to swirl around in her head (and mine).
The plan is to visit the top 4-5 schools in April and then choose.
But, I don’t even know which schools to be crossing my fingers for, TBH!
She has her favorites, but I’m not convinced that she really knows enough to have true favorites. And of course, there’s the real possibility that she gets a one-week streak of 7 rejections, leaving her feeling awful. (and then me, gently saying: “so, sweetie, should we pick some schools for a trip in two weeks?”)
I get it – this is how resilience is built. But I don’t love that we had 4 months of great news, if sporadic, followed by one week of potentially feeling like she is being kicked nonstop when she is down. She is a fantastic student and did a wonderful job presenting herself in her applications, but the odds are hard to ignore. The truth is we had some really great surprises in the past few months, but not any one email that just brought us all to tears with joy. I guess I kind want maybe one of those moments for her, even though I know life doesn’t always give us that.
Exactly! DH and I came from a different educational system that was considered pressure cooker at that time-that was nothing compared to what these kids are under. And as NUM put it, to see these kids go out and take those risks is both something to be proud and terrified!
Yes my d is 11/12 so far…we built a list with a lot of safeties since she is test optional. Now she thinks I was too pessimistic . The next five are all a coin flip (or less), so she’s going to have trouble given her expectations are a bit off. All while we are on spring break, trying to enjoy our last trip together. Ugh.
The absolute biggest, best difference between this kid and my oldest is that this one’s two current favorites are his EA schools. Oldest had solid EA acceptances, too, but all of his favorites were still out there when the March waitlists started rolling in. This is SO MUCH nicer. I’m also really happy the Grinnell acceptance came early in the month. DS eventually had a couple of great acceptances at reaches, but they came after he had been completely beaten down emotionally by so many waitlists. We may still have 10 rejections/waitlists coming, but DS24 seems to honestly not care that much. But ask me again in another week and a half and we’ll see!
It might be too late to switch the thinking here, but I love how Mark Stucker, the host of the podcast “Your College Bound Kid” frames this idea. He says “College is a match to be made, not a prize to be won.” Perhaps not helpful to current seniors hearing this for the first time and waiting (hoping) to be rewarded for their efforts, but potentially very helpful for juniors and their parents reading this thread.
When I was in high school a girl was rejected from her dream school (she was not a very nice person- actually- she was not a nice person). She was rejected, her father drove 4 hours up to the school wrote a check and came back with an acceptance letter. For many of the stories in the varsity blues scandal where the money went to a team or a program I am at a loss as to what the difference was- when it went to an individuals pocket ok- but otherwise, if it walks like a duck . . .
We are in the similar situation. At this point S24 has heard back from all his matches/targets with mostly positive news. Now all that are left are reaches and I am worried we will end string of rejects in the next couple of weeks. Just want the next two weeks to be over so we can move to next phase.
This was exactly my philosophy coming in, I think my S24 mostly believes it too, and yet once decisions started coming in and peers got talking . . . it has been tough I think to completely shut out all that chatter.
But for sure, I still believe my S24 has already gotten admitted to some great matches for him, actually a good variety from which to choose based on whatever ends up mattering to him the most.
And so a year from now nothing else that happens will really matter, he will just be having a great time at a great college for him. But I can’t be sure it will be an entirely painless process to get there, although as usual I just might be worried for no good reason.
I’m working hard so that S24 doesn’t choose the school solely based on ranking. But I understand that peer pressure. It feels like college admission has become a competition.
One of S24’s friends chose a strategy not to share anything. She doesn’t say anything, about where she applied, where she was accepted/rejected, etc. That’s probably a good way to go.
