Even the most esteemed panic.
One thing all three WL letters I saw did was say to my kids - you didn’t get in. You might - but please don’t wait for us, enroll elsewhere.
They didn’t flat out stay we rejected you. Yes, they gave hope but at least they encouraged kids to move on.
It happens all the time I think. S24 got waitlisted at NEU and UCD (in-state) but accepted to CMU and UNC.
In general, I agree with you about WL. However, we shouldn’t take it as blanket soft rejection for every school. Everyone should look at how schools handle waitlist and make the best decision for their family.
For example, CMU put 8000 kids on waitlist last year and accepted ~30-40 off the waitlist.
If you are on CMU waitlist, it’s safe to assume you won’t get called back and move on.
However, UCD put 19k kids on waitlist and eventually accepted 4400 kids. It’s very different dynamics and changes calculation if UCD is one of your top choices.
I’m not saying at any school that people shouldn’t join. If they want to attend, they should join.
But then they should emotionally move on. Sign and forget.
if it comes back, then you can address.
PS - I never said soft rejection. I said rejection. It’s a rejection with an option for the school to unreject.
No matter how you view it (certainly others view it differently than me), you’re not in - and you can’t get in - unless you express that interest - and I would suggest doing so.
But then moving on - for your own sanity.
Sure, some will come off - but some also leave Vegas at night with money in their pockets. But most don’t.
But I think - in general terms - we likely agree.
I have exciting news to share!
My S24 has made his decision and will be attending South Carolina Honors College!!! Go Gamecocks!!! 
He said it took him a long time to make a decision because he is scared about going away. Anyone else’s kids feeling scared? I remember feeling scared myself back in the day, so it seems perfectly normal, but if anyone has wisdom on how to help, I’m all ears.
I would think it would be very difficult to hold onto hope for a waitlist, even if they historically accepted a whopping 10%! But we’re a bunch of pessimists in our house. 
I don’t know if this was one of the Maine NESCAC schools, but I can say that we were told at an info session at one of them that if it’s between a kid with any demonstrated interest - not necessarily in person - versus someone who hasn’t interacted with the school at at all, scale always tips towards the DI. This is explicit so should not be a surprise. All of this makes sense to me / I’ve heard of so many kids throwing in apps at the last minute. I would be surprised if it was in fact about in-person visits, because there’s so much privilege in visiting a campus.
D23 was waitlisted at Princeton in the RD round and then got in. The call came so late (in June) so she didn’t believe it, for a second, and asked the AO “are you for real or is this some bad prank?” We had already committed to Duke at that point, did the “Admitted Student Day” visits etc… but then this came along and it was her top choice so she said yes. So, it can happen. Just wanted to give some hope for those on the WL.
I’m so glad to hear your great news! A note about how far down the rabbit hole we are–I looked at your decorative hearts, and thought (because of my daughter’s current #1 school), “Do USC and UGA have the same colors?” Then I actually checked. Your hearts are garnet hearts! 
Congrats!!! Yes, normal to feel scared especially if you don’t know any friends going from high school
I would HOPE that it’s about DI in whatever way a kid can do it (and, yes, schools are clear when they consider demonstrated interest, and that’s fine)…but the quote I heard was “visit.” But who knows? Selective colleges certainly give preference in admissions to all sorts of things that come with a lot of privilege (I say as the parent of a kid who is probably benefitting in admissions right now from a whole lot of expensive music lessons, et. al. that we prioritized but a lot of parents can’t or won’t). I’d love more transparency in admissions, but I’m pretty unlikely to get it, so I spend a lot of time trying to make educated guesses.
There is always hope (even though chances are often Infinitesimal) - just question why they unnecessarily waste the time/hope of so many…
It actually came down to UGA v USC for my son! Love the Dawgs too!
yeah, I’ve had two kids come off waitlists (and one is attending the waitlist school), so I think it’s made me more optimistic about waitlists than the numbers tell me to be. Both of those schools were medium sized universities rather than small LACs, though, which maybe makes a difference (and one was in music, which is a whole different game)
this is the best story! what did the AO say in response?
I would encourage him to get on social media and start talking to other admitted students. Maybe he could find some in your area and they could meet up. This has worked for a lot of students we know that have gone away to college.
I think it’s healthy for the kids to be a bit scared (and parents too). It’s a huge change- there are going to be times that are uncomfortable and a bit bumpy. It’s better to expect that going in.
Big congratulations to your son!! 
@AppalachianMama Totally possible! especially if the target/likelies are schools that track demonstrated interest! Out 13 decisions my daughter has received so far, all have been acceptances except for 2 waitlists. Of these 14 schools, 3 of them say they significantly consider demonstrated interest. Guess which category those two waitlists are? :). And they were definitely on the safety/likely side of the list, so it does seem like they totally realized she was thinking of them as a safety. But truth is: we did kind of let them fall to the wayside once she got her first couple of offers, so honestly, she realizes it’s actually “working” that they didn’t waste an offer on her as she subconsciously probably moved on emotionally from them like 3 months ago.
@southernfemmom I love your great news!! congratulations on being done with choosing!
@tsbna44 I think you are right about a WL being functionally a rejection at many schools. However, fundamentally, I don’t agree with the idea of “if they don’t want me enough to pick me first then I don’t want them” mentality that some kids take away from that perspective. Speaking more broadly, life is SO full of opportunities if we don’t let our ego get in the way of stepping in when we weren’t “the first choice.” (Obviously I don’t mean for things like key partners in life – you definitely want to be someone’s first choice there…)… :). But I can’t tell you how many cool experiences I’ve had in life because I was willing to step up to an opportunity because the first choice person didn’t or couldn’t. My job is always to make people glad the other person wasn’t available or turned down the offer – it’s my chance to knock the ball out of the park. :). To get too stuck on “they must pick me first” thinking is incredibly limiting. Not saying you are suggesting that, but I DO think that can be the takeaway for some inexperienced 17 year olds.
If they’re not scared now, many often struggle after they get there!!
But with age and time, they get past.
Congrats to him - a wonderful choice.
Congrats to your student - and yes it does - but I think you’d agree it was great that she was all in on Duke.
But yours was one of the lucky ones.
Everything can think differently…it’s just how I think…I think for the likely scenario vs. unlikely. And I agree with @Ilovepasta it’s too much. But they have the right to do so - and I guess that’s why they do.
For those who hold out hope for a WL - if it works for them, that’s great too. I don’t begrudge anyone the right to think how they want.
Everyone is able to utilize the methods best for them!!
For both my kids, we were lucky - while both got on a WL (one each), I don’t think either would have chosen it even had it come through.
My son would have still been at his low under ranked state school over WUSTL and my daughter at her urban paradise over Emory. So in that sense, we were fortunate - there was no checking the email each day.