I wish all college fairs were like that–both for kids and their parents. I’m sure it was eye opening for the kids there! Even though I try really hard to keep fit as foremost (once financial issues are met, etc), boy it’s easy to fall into the trap of “the students’ stats are better at this school, so it must be a better school”. I know that’s a lie, but it’s one that keeps rearing its ugly head.
2 Likes
Here’s what we were up to this weekend…
Y’all, I want so badly to push pause and/or actively pursue a gap year program that could help S25 shore up his communication and exec function skills. It feels like we’re rushing this on a few different fronts. A friend’s kid did this cool program in Rhode Island (https://www.middlebridgeschool.org/) and seems to be firing on all cylinders now – much more confident. But kiddo and his Pop think I’m being unnecessarily pessimistic. I think they feel like there’s some kind of obvious stigma associated with not going straight to college. So anyway…
4 Likes
Parent from Class of 24 here–I just wanted to give some hope. Have you considered how mediocre most of the “example essays” are that we are shown as models? College essays just aren’t an inspired genre (I’m an English professor, my daughter is creative-writing gifted, and I had to give her a lot of encouragement for her to complete good essays. She had no problem with writing them once she had the idea–but we had to brainstorm a lot, and she did a lot of essays just to make sure there were a couple at the end that fairly represented who she is). I would suggest the “what is an obstacle you’ve overcome” essay as a staple for practicing. It helps students be themselves. as long as they don’t go melodramatic! All students write bad essays at first. I had to nix one on avocado toast from my daughter. Part of it is that they don’t know who they are in the way an adult does. They grow and learn through writing these stupid things! 
8 Likes
My S25 will be away all summer working as a camp counselor, so we have been talking about his personal statement and when he might have time to get started on that. He will need to hit the ground running in September. I came across some good brainstorming ideas from The College Essay Guy…maybe these would be helpful?
1 Like
My D25 hates writing anything that has to do with herself. It’s going to be rough. I think we’re going to do some of the college essay guy’s suggestions starting after her SAT. She is a very good writer as long as she’s not writing about or reflecting about herself. Good luck to all of them!
2 Likes
My guy hates writing. We hired a college consultant - partly because he wants some niche things and I didn’t know how to find those schools, but mostly so that someone other than me will be the force behind S25 getting things done. He theoretically started his essay back in early March with a brainstorming session. She helped him with an outline, but he’s missed every deadline since then to show her that he’s put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) and actually write something. And with AP exams coming up so quickly, I don’t think he’ll be hitting the next deadline she gave either.
3 Likes
I just read your other thread, and our boys sound so similar! My son really struggles with the executive function around writing. He CAN write, but it takes him so long to do it. Plus he writes like he thinks…a big jumble of words with very little punctuation. His English teacher says he’s doing fine, but it’s more about how painful the writing is for him. We are also targeting smaller schools, including LACs. However, I think my STEM kid might do better at a small school with less writing/humanities required. I’m also strongly considering an essay/writing coach for this summer and then an executive function coach next year. My hope is that if he has a good connection with a remote coach, that he could continue using them in college. (I work at a medical school, and one of my students has been working with the same ADHD coach since high school.)
Best of luck to you and you son. Boy, do I identify with your fears!
1 Like
We are in the same place with our consultant. I’m actually quite frustrated with consultant’s limited insights into how stressful junior spring can be. We have all summer to brainstorm essays/home in on a college list. First I need the kid to pass his tests and study for AP exams. Grrr…
Our consultant is the same way right now. This is the second time we’ve used her, and I don’t remember it being this way before. But i think she had a bit of a shock last summer. It seemed like a lot of her rising seniors just… didn’t work over the summer. I mean, they had jobs or camps or travel or whatever, but they didn’t do college application work. And rather than most people being done before senior year started (or shortly thereafter) there was a lot of stress in the Fall to finish things. So I suspect that may be driving her a bit. But at the end of the day, this stuff needs to wait at least until later in May once we get over the AP exams.
Just for our life management, I’d like a decent rough draft of the common app essay by the time school lets out. Then he can spend the summer working on refining that and writing whatever school required essays there are.
3 Likes
No work on essays here til after classes end in two weeks and two weeks of travel to tour colleges in New York after that.
But summer break starts earlier here than most places, so that still puts C25 starting around Memorial Day, which seems more than reasonable.
5 Likes
I loved our college consultant but the one time I had to intervene was to tell her that D24 would not be getting to her essays until school was out (in our case that’s late June). It was way too much stress and pressure for my kid to successfully wrap up Junior year and start on essays. D24 did get to work after a few weeks of break so mid July.
3 Likes
Because five of seven classes are APs, they all have finals this week, then APs the week of May 6 and May 13th. School doesn’t get out until June 12. There will still be work to do for those 3-4 weeks, but it should calm down. Once he gets past the last AP exam (May 17) hopefully he can do some other stuff.
I know him. If we wait until the summer he’ll “just want a break without work for a little bit” and then next thing you know, the summer is gone.
4 Likes
Oh, I’m deeply familiar with this trope.
8 Likes
I went a midwestern LAC with STEM major, and had to write tons… even most of my science classes! Writing is an essential part of STEM. Just wanted to point out!
2 Likes
Seconding that. My engineer spouse spends most of her workdays not creating mathematical models, but rather writing reports for both specialist and general audiences on the results of those models, plus writing proposals to compete for contracts. An engineer who can’t write often isn’t employable, and if employable certainly doesn’t have much possibility for career advancement.
6 Likes
D25 likes to write–academically. Her favorite class is AP Lit. But she’s already informed me that she’s anxious about writing about herself for these essays. I’ve taken a hard stance that she has to have a draft of her common app essay done before she leaves for eight weeks of dance this summer. (I’m still wondering if I should have denied the last three week summer intensive. I asked about burnout. I asked about not having down time with her friends. I asked about having time to work on essays before school starts the following week. She insisted that she wanted to go, and I capitulated.) Given how all our kids are feeling, maybe I need to change the focus to some brainstormed ideas…
3 Likes
That’s a lot of dance! But this does sound like her abiding passion.
I really love the combo of brag sheet/brainstorming ideas listed above.
I wonder, too, if talking about it while in transit could work. It’s hard to get my kid’s attention at home but somehow when we’re biking places together he opens up – I guess he’s not distracted by whatever is going on with his phone.
2 Likes
Thanks for the feedback. I know he’s going to have to work on his writing. sigh
1 Like
Is it unusual that our senior year high school English class spends the whole month of September drafting and editing college essays? I pushed my S23 to get his essay written over the summer and he then spent all of September complaining about how it ate into his summer and he could have just done it when they gave him time with the rest of his class. Lesson learned, D25 will not be writing college essays this summer.
4 Likes
My daughter’s class did it too. I had made her write an essay the end of summer but then she completely redid after the class assignment. So I don’t think it is unusual. She was not in an AP class but a DE college writing class (take at the high school).