I don’t know if the focus is what your S25 is looking for or if it falls within your cost parameters, but I did have a friend whose S21 went to Western Carolina for film studies. As a public NC institute, it is often overlooked, but it can be a good fit.
Just throwing that out there in case it beefs up the thin application list.
So bragging mom moment. One of D’s teacher submitted the letter of recommendation last month. D checked the box for the letter to be private so couldn’t see it but she really wanted to read it. So did I. After asking the teacher if she minded if she could see it the teacher printed it out. D brought it home today it was so touching, incredibly written letter praising D and mentioning specific things she did plus some award she won. I started crying. You know how great your kid is but it’s amazing to see someone else recognize them too!
A while back I posted about a kid from my son’s class who died of suicide right at the beginning of the school year. I mentioned that while we had no idea why this happened, the stresses of this area couldn’t have helped.
His father has since posted publicly about the stress that the college admissions/recruiting process created for his son.
A quote:
"Dylan wasn’t a depressed teen. At all. I describe him as the exact opposite, he over-indexed on positivity. Yet, in the days leading up to his death, he was noticeably distressed.
We lose too many young souls to impulsive acts. It feels hard to convey to a teen who doesn’t yet have context for a complex adult life that the overwhelm they feel in their moment is fleeting."
I don’t quite know what to say – except that collectively, we bear a responsibility to help our kids gain perspective about this process and its significance, and it probably starts with us retaining perspective. Our kids are more than their “stats” and there are enough college opportunities out there for all of them.
In short – let’s reject the elite college industrial complex and all of the anxiety that it sparks for people who have every reason to be hopeful. We can do better by our kids.
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Thanks for posting this. It’s so heartbreaking and it’s terrifying to think about as a parent. We talk a lot about mental health in our house. I have asked S25 more than once if he was considering killing himself when he was dealing with depression. We have a lot of mental health issues in our family, and I’m trying so hard to normalize asking for help. One of the things that I’ve said to S25 (more than once) is “If you are thinking about hurting yourself, I need you to tell me. We won’t judge you. We will just get you help. Please remember that killing yourself is a permanent solution to a short term feeling. Please don’t make that choice without talking to us. We will do our best to help you get help.”
No idea if this is the right approach, but I hope we’re normalizing the discussion in our house.
This!
Absolutely!
This is so sad. Two kids died by suicide during my D19’s high school years, one of whom was in her grade. Both seemed also to be linked to the pressures of the college application process. I think some people get tunnel vision about this - sometimes it’s from parents and sometimes it’s kids who push themselves too hard - and it’s just heartbreaking.
D25 just got a letter from the college she was admitted to, for scholars’ weekend. I believe it’s a chance at a full ride. I know in the past they’ve awarded 10 prizes. I’m not entirely sure it’s a full ride but it has to be pretty close. I’m excited for her to go and meet other kids that are the same caliber as she is. The event is in January. I’m sure that will be here before we know it.
She’ll get her other top choice application sent in tomorrow after she gets that letter confirmation of NMSF.
Same here. Trying to get the regular app finished, so he can access the music school apps, so he can turn in pre-screens and then we can start hearing about auditions! This is all so much harder than it was for my other two kids!!
Thoughts on when/if to go Test Optional? D25 raised her SAT score by 30 points on the August test which was great, but she was disappointed it wasn’t more. Additionally, her RW score is 100 points higher than her math score, not sure if that makes a difference or not.
For one of her schools that puts her just above the 25% range and the other school just under the 75% range. She is worried if she doesn’t submit scores, then schools will think she did really badly. Which she didn’t! Her score is 100 points above the average for her high school. Both schools are likely admits either way - acceptance rates above 60%.
She is also thinking about taking it again in October (she is already signed up from back in June when we initially couldn’t get a seat for August). But I don’t think it’s really worth it, she doesn’t have a lot of time to study for it and I don’t think her score would change that much to move the needle.
I would submit those scores. As others have said here, better for the school to know the applicant was inside the middle 50% of admitted students (and near 75% for the one!), and higher than the HS average, rather than way lower than the middle 50%. As schools were test optional over the last four years, SAT scores crept up as only students with higher-than-average scores submitted. The school’s normal SAT range is likely lower than whatever their most recent CDS indicates.
This is where context matters and I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with where the score falls above the average for her high school. If she thinks the scores reflect well on her abilities and she believes it will help her applications, submit it! If not, hold it back. That is my two cents!
I think definitely for the 75% range school.
For the other one, the only hesitation I would have is if there is possible merit involved. S25 is in a similar situation with several of his schools and has decided not to submit. He had one admissions officer tell him that his merit will be higher if they’re just basing it on GPA, even though his test score is 30 points above the 50%. A few other schools showed the same result on their Net Price Calculator.
I really don’t think it will hurt your daughter either way but just evaluate the merit opportunities just in case 
The college counselor at our school encourages the students to submit any score that begins with a 700 even if it’s below the 25th percentile. He says that even schools that are requiring SAT again are only really using it to show competency and bring students through to the next round. A 1450 may not add value in every context, but it won’t be the eliminating factor either. I have no real knowledge of course, but he helps a lot of students get into highly competitive schools every year.
This would point towards submitting.
15 minutes of daily practice on Khan Academy can actually have a big impact. Even moving just 20 points on Math will make the scores more in line.
Do colleges get that info? Is that part of the counselor report?
Something else to check for on the CDS is what percentage of students are submitting scores. If it’s high then submit, if it’s low, then it probably doesn’t matter.
For those looking for it, here’s a Reddit thread compiling the state-by-state lists of NMSFs as they’ve been released and reported.
I was curious about this for my S since he scored 200 points above what we are told is his school’s average. I just read the school report that the GC sends to colleges and there is no mention of a school average score. I was also hesitant for my son to send his AP scores of 3, but also heard from the school that only 10% of the kids take APs and they have a 40% pass rate, but this also isn’t listed on the school report. Now we are considering not sending SAT or AP scores to most schools, but if the school averages had been on the report we may have reconsidered.
Often, average test scores are included in the high school’s School Profile document, which accompanies the transcript.