I have a love-hate relationship with those stats that VT publishes. I love that they publish them, it gives my data wonk heart joy. But I hate what it tells me about in-state v out of state admissions. If I take the major my son is applying for (construction science and management) and control it for male applicants, I can see that OOS students get offers at a higher rate than IS, which just infuriates me. Looking at data for students who entered fall of 2022, 64.2% of OOS students (52 people) got an offer, whereas only 54.8% of IS students (40 people) got an offer. I get that it’s because the OOS yield is much lower (40% v 85%), but still. I think about the other public state schools where my son is applying - like UNC Chapel Hill and UTK (and I don’t know about Clemson) - which have greater preferences for in state students such that one must have objectively higher qualifications coming from OOS, and it just doesn’t feel fair. Sigh. Oh well, nothing I can do about this so I need to just let it go and not be bothered by it.
Be careful what you wish for 
. The stars finally aligned for D25 and her on-again off-again crush and now they’re dating. While I’m happy that she’s happy, I am a little nervous that it may influence her college decision. But that cart is waaaaaay before the horse so it’s low on my list of worries these days!
I’m just really hoping my son goes to prom. I do not even care if he takes someone…
Her top choice right now is academically and financially a great fit. Its the “what if” she gets a Tuition Exchange waiver for free or reduced tuition at a decent academic fit college that has us waiting.
@VTMom03 - you’re right, I know there would be some definite downsides. I know it wouldn’t affect college for him though at least. Crush-girl ED’d at Wake Forest, which he isn’t applying to. The closest school for him would be UNC, which is his top choice (and really reachy) anyway.
@CPsMom25 - I’m with you, I just want him to go to prom. When I was in HS I couldn’t go - the school only allowed people who brought dates (in 1993! Not the dark ages!) and all my friends were dating each other, I was the only one who didn’t go of my close friend group and I felt so left out. My older boy didn’t go, but he was on a once in a lifetime trip with his four best friends and teammates, so it didn’t really sting so much.
The date from last night is exactly the kind of person I would hope for S25 to date. Very smart, nice young woman. She invited him to her school’s semi formal in January. And I just found out she also applied to his first choice, Rose-Hulman. Y’all, please tell me not to start planning the wedding. I am so neurotic. 
I feel like if we knew each other in real life we would be friends. 
My mom saw this coming and thought she’d headed it off at the pass. And then I transferred my affections from my first h/s boyfriend (who headed off to W&L) to the next guy, who conveniently was in my class at Princeton. I really don’t advise this. (even if he hadn’t been an anti-social jerk who irritated my freshman year roommates. I really had a thing for those Heathcliffe types, though…sigh)
Tell your kids to start unencumbered.
And yet, I’d be hoping the same thing. If only we could script it so that they meet in the third act instead of the first.
Me too!
In all the drama around the missed interview I forgot to mention that S25 quit his job yesterday – a job he’d only had for about a month. When he started describing the circumstances under which he’d been operating (without complaining to us), I was glad to hear that he’d stopped. There’s actually a Yelp review from the restaurant on one of the nights when he was working there, wherein the customer mentions that although the food was good, hearing the owner abusing his teenaged employee three times in under thirty minutes made the whole experience really unpleasant.
He quit 15 minutes into his shift yesterday after the owner unleashed a torrent of abuse. He told the guy he needed to work on treating his employees better, but then stuck around two more hours to help finish the lunch rush because he didn’t want to leave them in the lurch. Over the course of the day the guy went from lambasting him…to talking smack about him to his one remaining employee (two other guys quit around the same time S25 did)…to texting him apologizing and asking him to come back.
Trying to decide if I wish he’d told me sooner that the employer was a jerk or if I’m proud of him for not complaining and then just handling it.
I’m also wondering if/how to notify schools. I guess he has to go back in and remove it from the common app before RD cycle (does he notify schools to which he’s already applied that his work situation changed? or leave it alone? I want him to be honest but not annoyingly micro in his communications…)
Is he planning to replace that job with a similar (but non-abusive) one? It might be good to get back on that horse, and if he’s spending his time in a roughly similar fashion, I don’t know that adcoms care too much that the nature of the specific work has changed.
Separately, from that, though, congrats on raising a son who …
- is able to work hard under challenging situations
- has self-respect
- has boundaries of what he’s willing (and not willing) to accept
- can give clear, critical feedback up the chain, as opposed to just ghosting
- is committed to not abandoning his team to a difficult situation.
I’m glad you’re so proud of him, and expect that you’ve told him so, but I hope you’ll tell him again (and again), and that you’ll have a ton of pride in the great job that you did raising him. There will always be dropped balls in the moment, like missed appointments (I have ADHD, too; I know how it is), but the character he displayed in that difficult situation shows, to me, the absolutely stellar job you did raising him, and should give you confidence that — as he heads out in eight months — he’ll be ready for the challenges that come his way. Excellent work, mom.
Wow, I am sorry your son had to deal with such an awful employer, but kudos to him for handling it so, so well. I can say that we’ve had adults at our business handle their responsibilities and communication with far less maturity, even when they weren’t unhappy in their job. It gives me hope that all is not lost for those of us out there looking for responsible and competent people who not only respect themselves, but understand what it means to be a good employee and a part of a team.
And mom, terrific job.
yes, hopefully mine goes with friends.
For regular decision apps he hasn’t submitted yet, I would have him go back into common app and have him make any changes so that it’s accurate as of the day he submits each application.
I wouldn’t fuss about applications already submitted. Since he’d only been there one month, I doubt admissions was weighing the activity/job heavily in their decision making process.
Kudos to your son for handling himself so well!
My daughter could get paid more elsewhere but she stays because she really likes the owners! Glad he walked!
Unrelated to anything and everything else, but I figured hey, maybe you could use the snort/chuckle/laugh too… There is currently a chance me thread titled “Junior looking into BS MD” and every time I scroll by my instant read is instead “Junior looking into BDSM” followed by my brain going “bold of them to announce that and I wonder why they think THIS is the right place?” And ONLY THEN does my brain register what it actually said…
(Note, not personally into BDSM in case anyone was thinking that, but for folks that are, no judgment, live your life however makes you happy.)
(Note #2, perhaps not unrelatedly, I’m on some extra strength dayquil at the moment to try to combat this THING that I have that is keeping me coughing and feeling like trash now for six days. No fever, COVID test negative, no body aches so not likely flu, but coughing like I’m hacking up a lung.)
I’ve thought the exact same thing!!! Ha ha. It’s what happens when we lose our minds waiting for these decisions to come back!
Okay, we definitely would be friends in real life if we knew each other! 
SAME.