It’s up to the student what they say at ours. Some said both their major and sport but it was the ones who just said they were going to a tippy top to play X sport that caught my eye.
On this, I will tell you that when we were visiting schools, my S22 described RPI as “a seriously depressing campus.” Something about it just felt like the color and vibrancy had been leached out. We were there in August, so not winter, although it was overcast. It’s a fantastic school, but it just felt very cold to him. (And take this FWIW, because many - MANY - people do not feel that way.) On the other hand, although Cleveland certainly gets snow, there was enough green space, and trees, that he liked the set up at CWRU much much more and it somehow felt more welcoming.
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Hi alll,
I hope everyone has had a good holiday season, however you celebrate it! I’m desperately trying to get D25 across the finish line for apps and schoolwork so that she at least has a couple of days fully off before next term begins. For any future parents lurking here, learn from our mistakes–doing too many applications with a rough course load leads to burnout. D25 is just tired and is moving more slowly getting things done. I can justify why we did what we did–the unknown of dance auditions is real–but maybe I could have believed that my kid standard strong/average excellent kid would get into a number of academic schools she applied to; I could have encouraged her to trim her list a bit.
Honestly, I’m a little disappointed that we’re here and that she’s still working on things. Given the nature of her school, this is her only real vacation until the end of the school year; I so wanted her (and our family!) to have down time together. We miss hanging out, playing games, etc with her. The week is not over–I must remind myself this.
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This is us exactly right now - but with no applications still, just so much schoolwork to make up. Given the amount of time S25 has already devoted to schoolwork, I don’t know why it isn’t done (I mean, I do, he’s not really working all the time he says he is). But I think he doesn’t get how this affects the rest of us - we can’t plan day trips, or go do things together because he has to be allowed to “work”.
I really thought he’d get it all done by Sunday (yesterday) night, so we’d have a week off, but he didn’t. I honestly think he did almost no work Saturday and Sunday and I’m just so peeved. It feels like the rest of us are held hostage to his schedule, and we’re missing out on having some fun time together. The rest of the year is going to be hard, I wanted, like you, for my kid to have some time to just relax and not have work hanging over him, and for all of us to have some fun together. I am burning a lot of leave to take this week off - figuring we could do some family things while my HS kid is on break and my college kid is home. If I do nothing but sit at home and nag my kid to get his work done I’m going to be really disappointed.
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Oh, @OctoberKate , you get me. Feel free to rant anytime you need to. Thanks for the empathy!
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Agree with this- so many of my kids’ teammates who are going to prestigious D1s have incredible academics. Some of them made Olympic Trials and they take Honors and AP classes.
My son is going to a D3, but my daughter thinks she wants a D1. My son could care less about the more social aspects of school and has never attended prom or a High School party, for that matter. That could change, but he is an introvert and is perfectly happy interacting with just a small group of people. My daughter is the complete opposite and I honestly worry about a D1 for her for the reasons @goldbug shared. My goal is for her to have a clear understanding of what life as a D1 is like before deciding.
You may already have a hobby!
(Aside from social media like CC, that is!
)
I used to struggle when people asked me what my hobbies are, until I realized that I enjoy cooking and that totally counts. Or when I doodle, which I do for relaxation (and that sometimes turns into maps of nonexistent coastlines (which I found fun) and that counts too!
And some may fall into your lap. I never knew how much I like role-playing games til some of my kids were bored during the pandemic and I started GMing a really, really long campaign for them (that will end on New Years Day!!)—and now C25 is going to GM our next campaign, starting right after mine ends.
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That’s so frustrating! Just curious, does your S25 have schoolwork to get done? When does the semester end? That seems so unfair to not get a true vacation and family time. My kids school ends the 1st semester right before the holidays so they get almost too much time off!
Our school has 2 weeks of the first semester to finish after the holiday break. It is a pain, with projects to finish, and finals to get ready for, plus all the college stuff. It would be so nice to have a real break.
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I’m guessing that he gets into Purdue.
As to school visits, have you considered virtual tours in lieu of at least some of the visits? You have already toured several schools, so you could do virtual tours of a few of those for comparison purposes. Also, perhaps, some independent tours by non-school associated people on you tube to get a different perspective.
Do those virtual tours give a similar feel to his in person visit? If so, that might be a way to narrow the list of actual visits to a number that is viable in the time available.
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That’s awful. When D19 was in school they also had finals after the winter break, but they’ve changed it now so that semester 1 and finals end before break and furthermore the break is actually designated as a no homework, no projects break. It makes such a difference.
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Just wanted to share an amusing thought that came up during a visit with two of S25’s grandparents last week.
None of the four of them are particularly invested in colleges or have much knowledge about what S25 is going through to get there, since they have their own concerns (three turn 80 in 2025) and things they are fussing over. As we visited my parents, they asked for S25 to let them know when he makes a decision about where he will go.
At which point DH suggested he could let them know by sending a picture of the school mascot. I am still chuckling at the thought of them trying to figure out what the heck any of the five potential images might signify.
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Seeing the sun was actually one on my D25’s college criteria. She decided not to go farther north than Washington DC. It really cut down her list a lot and I questioned it at first. But now it’s winter and I totally get it.
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The semester ends mid-January. Most of this work is make-up, from joy getting things done in December. On the one hand, I’m glad the teachers are giving him an opportunity to climb out of the hole, but on the other, I’m just so frustrated at how cavalierly he’s treating his time and ours.
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I have RSV. Bleh. No idea what day it is, what hour it is or when I last went outside. I’m commanding my household from various couches, chairs and beds to which I just drag around the same blanket, water bottle and computer. It’s lovely 
S25 has decided to EDII his top choice. I have some mixed feelings - not about the school itself but just ED in general. If he doesn’t get in, he feels he’d decide between Fordham or Santa Clara. He’s banking on a rejection from Lehigh as we haven’t visited in person. And, oddly, he hasn’t yet received his applicant portal login for CalPoly SLO. Confirmed his app is in, got an email confirming Parchment sent his transcript yet crickets to set up his portal. He emailed admissions the other day. He still feels mixed about SLO as an option.
I’m trying not to nag but EDII school asks for an optional Glimpse video and he’s dragging his feet. He hates being front and center so it’s likely more about self confidence rather than completing the task. I’m trying to give him some grace here but also, just get it done already! He’s been out almost every night of break with a group of friends from various high schools. They’re rotating homes and playing Magic. I LOVE that he’s actually out and not gaming in his bedroom!
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I hope you get over your RSV soon.
Here is a link to activate the Cal Poly SLO portal: Applicant First Time Account Activation | Cal Poly
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S23 actually made dinner for us last night. Shocking! His gf stays over all the time but she has been a good influence so hoping it continues to help keep him on a better path.
D25 has been OOS on vacation with her dad since Christmas day. Haven’t heard much from her (this is typical when she is with her dad).
We are waiting for admitted student days to be posted for her final choices as well as dance clinics for spring.
As for hobbies, I am looking for another job. I need money. Was considering volunteering for my local ambulance service. I did this years ago in another town for free. Our town is paid at least. Wouldn’t be a ton of money but something.
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In terms of hobbies, I’ve thought that I’d like to spend time organizing the years of photos I’ve taken into books. When the boys were really small I did a lot of photo books, then I dropped a hard drive while it was writing and basically broke it, and that stole my momentum. We’ve since gotten that fixed, and this is something I want and am excited about doing, except the idea of spending even MORE time on a screen makes my head hurt. Maybe if I set my computer up somewhere other than my (isolated, lonely) home office it would be better.
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Happy Almost New Year! We’re having a good break for the most part. Went to Las Vegas for Christmas. My husband and I had a blast, but S25 was not thrilled to be there and complained much of the time about missing his friends. We did a ton of fun activities, ate great meals, and saw shows, but I guess the pull of friends is too strong at this age. Still, it was a nice chance to get away and once we returned son admitted he had fun. (But boy was he a bear while we were there!)
I’m thinking a lot about hobbies, as well. Professionally, I hope to work on some new certifications, but I really want to have some things outside of work to enjoy. We love camping but have been really limited the last few years because of how busy S25 is on the weekends. I think we’ll pick that back up when he leaves, but I’m also looking into volunteering and maybe picking up yoga or pilates. I hope I will actually make good on these things and not just watch more TV. I don’t want to waste whatever time I have left.
Hope everyone has a great NYE. We normally do a family hot pot, but my hot pot is on the fritz this year. Plus S25 is going to a sleepover with his old buddies from elementary/middle school. I know there will be some drinking there, and we’ve had a few conversations the last few days about making good choices. I find this specific issue really difficulty to navigate, but I’m also trying to be realistic that alcohol will be readily available in college.
Happy New Year!
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My C23 has severe seasonal affective disorder (which made things a struggle in Alaska!), and so we used a tool the US government provides for people planning to put solar systems in where you can put a zip code in, and it gives average solar energy by month in (IIRC) kW/m²/day. There were some surprises—Denver and (just barely) Boston hit the arbitrary threshold we put in, despite being further north than most places that worked—but for the most part it meant, as we suspected, that we were looking at the Sun Belt. It was a really, really good filter. (The kid ended up in Texas.)
C25, OTOH, likes the northern cold and dark—though Fairbanks is a bridge too far, but I strongly suspect that’s because it’s Fairbanks, not because of the climate or (lack of) sun. So Nevada Reno—more or less the same latitude as DC—is the furthest south application for that one.
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