Congrats! Awesome accomplishment. I’ve been following your posts for over a year now and this is such great news. PM me for specific details about UW if you want. We have lots of ties to the school of engineering.
My daughter wanted to go to U Dub just because of the library.
Congrats to your kids @goldbug, @Julmarmc, and @kirroyalemum! UDub is such a great school. I have spent many an hour in that library and some of their less beautiful libraries. Sounds like your kids have great options and potentially difficult choices to make.
Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts re: the AP exams and which to take, or not take, or take later. I laid out the options for S25 yesterday when he got home from practice, with the plan of discussing later and coming to a conclusion.
But you know what they say about the best laid plans…
Last night was ALSO the last night that S22 is home before he flies to Greece today for a term abroad. And my mom wanted to see him one more time, so we had grandma over for dinner. I was thinking we’d discuss the AP stuff over dinner, get some input from S22 about whether he thought it had value (both his school and S25s prospective schools treat AP credit the same), and see if S25 had come to a conclusion in the hours since I laid out the options. Instead, my mom just had a lot of questions for S22. I love my mom, but she has to know every detail about everything. Where are you staying, how many people are in your apartment, where are the other kids staying, where are there apartments, when you have to meet with them where will you meet, where will you get groceries, does your apartment have cooking utensils, do your friends cook, what will you cook etc. Nothing was mean spirited, but every question leads to another question, and then it starts falling down her anxiety spiral where she is clearly worried about every thing that can be worried about and she starts asking even more questions and needing reassurance and it’s just exhausting. It took over our whole dinner. S22 is going to turn 21 in a few weeks. He lived on his own in an apartment last summer, he manages his life alone at school all year. She doesn’t get how I don’t talk to him all the time, or track him constantly, or know the names of everyone he is with and all the details of their lives. She’s deeply worried about how will I know he’s gotten where he’s going safely and can’t understand that I’m just going to Assume He Is Safe. and Assume He Is Managing. It’s exhausting trying to manager her anxiety and it’s probably why I try so hard to NOT be in my kids business.
Anyway, that took over the entirety of dinner, and no one could get a word in, so there was no talking to S25 about APs. Then S22 realized he needed a few more things from the store (he owns very few plain tshirts, and they are going to work on a project for a company - the dress code allows for tshirts, but plain tshirts. So we had to go to Target and buy a few more), and I needed to go over his taxes with him and have him sign the forms for his out of our home state return, then he wanted to sit with me to order his eSim for his phone, and to go over his packing list one more time, and to talk through how he’s going to get from the airport to his hotel etc. I suspected things like that would take up the evening, which is why I wanted to talk with S25 AT DINNER. Anyhoo, by the time I was done with S22, it was 10:30, S25 was taking a shower before bed, and I couldn’t stay up any longer to wait for him (my alarm goes off at 4:45).
So no answer. No rush, so not a big deal, but I like to have a plan, so the waiting to plan phase is not my favorite.
Well that sounds like a thoroughly exhausting dinner!! I think I would need to spend a solid minute just hugging my kids in silence, and then reassure them that I trust they will be fine, and then lock myself in a room for some deeeep breathing exercises.
Virtual hugs to you. Hope today has less anxiety and more lighthearted time with both S22 and S25.
And maybe some ice cream. Just for good measure.
Congratulations! So exciting for him to get UW Seattle. We’ve toured many campuses, and that is one of our favorites! And love that they can take the subway to get to the airport. There is nothing prettier than a beautiful spring day with the cherry trees blooming and the view of Mount Rainier over the fountain in the distance!
cool! I never heard of this program, hopefully the kids who need it do!
Congratulations to all on U-Dub. If you visit when the cherry blossoms are out, oh wow!
This!! We are having so much angst over C25’s decision making. Quite frankly, I’m wondering where my child went and who this stranger is. This child who couldn’t wait to have a big adventure..They are just … limiting themselves. From grade slides to eliminating great colleges in favor of those that don’t even have their major, because these colleges are …close to friends/significant other? Known to their friends? Because they’re scared? I don’t even know. It’s heartbreaking to watch and they have completely shut us out. So they’re talking to snobby friends, who are the LAST people they should be listening to.
So, I’m responding a little late to this and haven’t yet read any of the other responses so I hope I’m not repeating anything already said.
What I would like to think I would do is to have an open discussion with them and let them make the decision themselves, whatever that decision is. My input would be to make sure they understand the various benefits and consequences of each of the options, but not necessarily tell them what I would do or what I prefer that they would do.
Your S25, from all that you have posted, seems to be thoughtful and reflective and not impulsive.
For what it is worth, my D25 has to take 3 AP exams and is adding (probably a 4th - AP Calc, although she is only in a DE calc class and not an AP calc class). My understanding of her college’s AP credit process is that none of these will provide any benefit to her regardless of her scores. She wants to take them anyway. We’ve discussed the pros (there are some I suppose) and cons of doing this and she is making up her own mind. I realize this is a bit different than your situation, but I see this as an opportunity for the kiddos to make decisions for themselves that will have consequences, but not life altering and where you can still observe the thought process.
Congrats to all on the UW acceptances! Visited there some years ago–absolutely a gorgeous campus.
My daughter is at UW Seattle and loves it! When I read the thread earlier on the perfect fit school being an illusion- UW Seattle has really been the perfect fit for her. But who knows if it would have been the only perfect fit for her.
C25 got denied from UW-Seattle. So, that makes the visit to RIT even more timely right now to pick spirits back up.
For anyone interested, we have an exclusive Q&A w/ Jeff Selingo scheduled for next Thursday at 7pm ET. Jeff has a new book coming out in the fall called Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You and he is here to answer your questions about how to pick the right college, what factors to consider, does prestige really matter, and more.
You can ask your question now and join on Thursday for the live session. This is a written Q&A. Jeff will log in and answer questions for 1h from 7-8pm ET. Ask away!
Welcome to CC!
This is so tough and I’m sorry you’re going through it.
A couple of things, kids definitely can get scared and start to freak out about now and that is totally normal. The best you can do is try to be supportive.
I realize that’s hard when you feel shut out of the conversation. Are you paying for college? If so, I’d simply let her know that as a stakeholder in the decision you need to be able to talk to her about what she is thinking, without judgement.
I recommend picking an activity you both like doing together and a time that gives you some space (not right after school or before bed) and giving it a go then.
The process of separating can be bumpy…hang in there!
S25 wrote an essay to us (his parents) about why LMU was the right choice for him, and how he was going willing to pay for part of it himself in addition to taking the federal loans he could take. It was kind of cute, and my wife and I were talking about letting him go anyway… we can technically afford it as long as my wife works (which is uncertain as a USAID contractor - but she’s also really smart and can probably find something).
So barring any bad news to my job (as a DoD contractor), S25 is going to be Lion.
So, to follow your shoe analogy re fit, would you say an example of fit or lack of fit could be if I wanted to be an engineering major, but one of my college options did not have engineering? That would be a bad fit. But, if I really enjoyed boba tea and there was no boba tea place near one of my college options, that would be a preference?
I generally agree with this, but I feel your point 2 (not 2a) is overly broad. For example, my D25’s college (to my understanding, not hers) does not give credit for AP Calc. My daughter currently has a 100 in calc, but if you knew the school, you might conclude that that grade may not be indicative of her actual knowledge of calc.
She has indicated a desire to take the AP test and while she might not get credit for the college course, I do believe that there is some merit to taking the test. It is a way for her to independently test her knowledge of calc and continue to practice it in a way that is different than her dual credit class. So, if she does indeed have to take it in college (even assuming she gets a 5 on the exam), she will have a better understanding of the the subject matter and should help her with the college class.
And I’m not suggesting that the test itself is a good barometer of subject knowledge (whether that AP test is US History, Spanish, Calc or any other subject). However, for my daughter, she will study because of the test (and thereby gain) than if she did not have to take the test.
The question is whether that marginal benefit is worth the time and effort. She feels it is. I am on the fence and would probably say no. But, I’m not going to tell her not to take it. That said, we are in mid-March and the test is quite a way off. With little skin in the game, I will not be shocked if she doesn’t wind up taking the test.
God, I’ve rambled a lot on this and I apologize. Too tired to go back and edit, sorry.
Congratulations!! So exciting for him. He must be so happy!
It’s a great campus and culture. We live very close to it actually and I’ve spent quite a bit of time on the campus. Lots of friends who are alumni and they all loved their time there.
Yes, except the other way around.
In my phrasing, preferences are big, fits are small.