They have only seen two out of the five. We will revisit those two, though, so they can compare and contrast them with the ones they see for the first time. I think one is a perfect fit for them. Hopefully, they will see it too, or at least find one where they can picture themselves.
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So very thankful prestige is not a “thing” at our high school. Not saying there isnt competition and feelings hurt with college admissions though. Our instate flagship Madison causes lots of tears and “why them and not me” thoughts.
We have 1 kid from school headed to harvard and 1 to Wash U. My daughter is one of few going to “unheard of schools” in our area. Lots of answering the “why that school?” Or “it must be expensive” questions.
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Our family has a soft spot for several schools and Denison is one of them. It sounds like your D can’t make a wrong choice here… congrats to her!
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If grad school ends up in the picture at some point, your kid could always attend Clemson for grad school.
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Good luck!!! All great options.
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We had this with my oldest. Lots of unheard schools on her list. We were looking for very specific things and other people’s opinions made no difference. Luckily she didn’t really care about prestige either so that helped.
My son has a huge range of schools on his list and has been accepted into all so far. Out of his top choices, one of them is one of his safety schools, because the prestige factor isn’t an issue for him either. Saying that, he might end up at one of his reach schools, which happens to be prestigious, but I’m just glad that is not what is driving him.
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S21’s commencement speaker was just announced - Kermit the Frog!
He was “born” on Maryland’s campus and I think it’s the perfect touch of joy, kindness and hope these seniors need right now. I am SOOOO GLAD it’s not a politician.
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I would definitely cry if Kermit were speaking at my D’s commencement. My eyes well up just thinking about him singing “The Rainbow Connection.” 
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I may lose my mind with my child before this year is over. He is currently failing English. We have 2.5 weeks left in the quarter. He’s been failing English for at least a few weeks now. Three weeks ago he and I talked about missing assignments. A week and a half (maybe?) ago I emailed his English teacher and said “he’s coming to talk with you” because the English teacher kept blowing him off when he tried to see him. Supposedly they created a schedule of things and son turned them in. But i can’t tell if S25 REALLY turned them in. In the past he’s told me he was “done” - which didn’t mean turned in, it meant I’m done working. Either because he was just finished for that moment or because the electronic assignment “closed” and couldn’t be submitted, or for other reasons. So as much as it pains me, I feel like i just can’t trust him. He’s paying attention in class and he’s doing the reading (he’s got near perfect scores on the tests and in class writing assignments, just big fat nothing burgers for literally everything else) so it’s not like he’s not getting the material. He’s just so far behind when he DOES do it (if he does it) that it can’t be turned in.
He’s been a straight A student his entire academic career. Right now he’s got an E (we don’t do Fs), a C, a B, two B+s, and two classes that inexplicably have no grades or assignments entered (with only two weeks before the end of the quarter).
I don’t know what’s happened, or if it’s salvageable. But this is why I worry about him for next year. At his last IEP meeting, right before the third quarter, we talked about how I was going to step out of helping him manage things and his time, and he was ready to do it himself, and the school would help him triage and give supports, and the only part of that that ACTUALLY happened was me stepping out.
I just want to give up. I don’t have the energy to fight this battle for him, and I don’t know how to help him fight it himself.
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All I can say is, this was totally S23. I would try to make an appointment with the teacher and your son. Not going to lie, freshman year at college was rocky, really rocky. But now his second year he is maturing and is actually a TA of a course at school. Hugs mama.
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Make sure he understands that a D or F (E) could trigger his college of choice to rescind him. Hopefully that would be a good enough incentive to get things handed in and completed.
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I feel you! I could have written this same post except for a different class for my D25. From my perspective, it’s so easy…just do the work! But for some reason, she doesn’t see it that way. ARRRG!
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I hate this for you and your son. My son is also struggling with getting things in. He has a zero in band. BAND. Granted, the director will let them turn things in late, but I don’t understand why he can’t get a 5 minute recording done once a week. And then there’s the continued roller coaster of emotions that we’re dealing with. I know he’s probably doing the best he can, but I just want to shake him and scream “SNAP OUT OF IT!” But any emotion on my side just makes things worse. I’m really tired right now and wish I could go spend a long weekend in a hotel by myself.
Hope things turn around for your son. Sending you strength!
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There was a hiccup in fafsa and I got a notice to update some info last Friday. Well, it pushed through today. She got the $7395 pell grant for next year. This is a huge help which will hopefully allow me to catch up a bit financially.
Her school direct costs started at 28k/yr. Pell Grant, merit for gpa, plus her LLC/Multicultural scholarship totaled 15k. Total direct COA for attendance next year is 13k. Huge sigh of relief as having 2 in college I need all the help I can get!
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This. So Much This.
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Thank you @2plustrio, @momofboiler1, @cfmom and @Kumihama-Cho. Sometimes it just really helps to feel heard!
He’s made the appointment with the English teacher and I actually think he’s done some of the assignments and turned them in, they just aren’t graded yet. I want the teacher to put in grades, so I can see that it’s really done and have that confirmation, but given how late things were, it’s kind of a beggars can’t be choosers situation. Plus, it doesn’t help that I find this teacher to be totally condescending. Not just to the kids, but to me. We’ve been lucky with lots of great English teachers over the years. This isn’t one of them.
I do think it’s not going to go well for him his first semester of college. I’m mentally preparing myself for that, and hoping that if that happens, it’s a snap out of it moment for him. It’s part of why I wanted him living in an honors dorm - I was hoping that there’d be some positive peer pressure to keep him focused on doing work.
And yes, we’ve told him that a bad grade here could get his offer rescinded. He knows that part; what he’s being unrealistic about (imho) is his remaining ability to fix things. I mean, I don’t want him in an anxiety induced panic, but we don’t have much time. He historically has always taken the weekend after the quarter ends to turn things in, but he doesn’t have that weekend this year - we’ll be in Greece visiting his brother. And he’s missing parts of the two weekends leading up to that for admitted students days. And he has track meets every Wednesday night that typically take until 9:30 or 10:00 at night. Time Is Tight.
And like a few of you said, what causes me the most angst is that I just can’t see why he can’t get it done. I KNOW this is the ADHD speaking. I really do. So I try hard not to impose my neurotypical brain on his very neurodivergent self. But holy cow man. Just do the work when it’s assigned and it would be so much easier!
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I get so, so frustrated with my son when he struggles with things that seem to me like they should be easy. Like getting assignments in. Or getting over a break up for a relationship that only lasted three months. The mantra I am trying to go back to is “If it was easy he would be doing it.” I know these things are so hard for him with his ADHD and anxiety. I just keep praying his prefrontal cortex will catch up soon.
Serenity now!
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We also had an issue in our house last night about being on top of things. My son has a senior capstone that requires an internship and presentation. I asked him if he had reached out to the place he’ll be doing it, to get some hours in, especially next week during spring break. Answer was ‘no’ I thought we were out of town. We have had many, many conversations about being in town until the end of the week and doing some of this work beginning of the week. He was adamant that he knew nothing about this (and got a little indignant to boot).
His attitude got to me and I kinda lost my cool with him, and felt bad about it after. He was wrong, for sure, but man, it reminded me of the impact ADHD has on EF. And also the effect of stress on the ADHD (and non ADHD) teen brain. There is so much in their heads right now, and in their hearts. I’m going to practice grace and patience to the enth degree for the rest of this school year.
All that to say, I feel you all going through this, it’s not easy.
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That heart comment wasn’t to say “I love that you all had a rough conversation” but rather, I love your take away to work on practicing grace and patience. Normally, I’m pretty solid at both, but am really REALLY struggling with them right now. Sigh. This Too Shall Pass.
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