I’ve been mixed about spelling out D25’s options, but since people tried to help me when I was concerned about making a list, I updated there. You all have seen me through my own emotions once that list was made and acted on, so thank you!
D25 thinks she has the list whittled to four, so we’ll be visiting 3/4 in the next two weeks. (The fourth is a “I’m 60-70% sure I’m going to end up there, so I don’t need to visit again.” These visits sound like they are ruling out more than ruling in.) I think we are all just grateful that she has all her decisions and can move forward.
Very similar situation here around TO, strengths in the rest of the application, and a moment of mourning. D25 is writing a LOCI to her fav waitlist, for whatever that’s worth. It was the one she loved all along but was scared to ED. The worst part is that her friend may go and it’s really making my D sad.
The friend thing is SO HARD! Even when they are kind and thoughtful and supportive. S25’s 2 best friends both got into his #1 and honestly, I think THAT is making him so much sadder, as much as he loves them! Hugs to all those kiddos who are feeling that!
I couldn’t wait, when filling out the first of many, many (many!) spreadsheets a year or two ago, to know how it would all work out for the twins in the end. It’s pretty wild to look at my spreadsheets now and realize that the multiple tabs, with cells cross-referencing rows and columns, conditional formatting, and whole new formulas I learned just to render the data for the various options … all come down to essentially three rows that they’ll be choosing from.
I am so stoked for the three options in front of them, and am so proud of how they’ve handled this whole process, including all of the hard work, deep introspection, graceful patience, unfortunate letdowns, and surprise victories along the way. This morning D25 shared with me an email she’d sent to her school’s college counselor, where she talked about her results and her emotional processing of the various outcomes. It was so thoughtful, so mature, so grounded, and highlighted how she is so ready for this next stage of life. I didn’t cry when she was reading it, but she gave me the sweetest hug as we dropped her off for school, and I absolutely teared up when driving away. I’m so proud of both of them.
We’ll be doing admitted student day visits at the three schools in a few weeks — one school where we’ve been to many times; two where we’ve never stepped foot on campus before — and I’m looking forward to those trips with them. The “I’ve gotten in” visits are so much more illuminating than the “maybe I’ll apply here” visits, and I think they’ll be really clarifying, for both kids. I think we’re all going to have a great time, and I think they’re absolutely going to find their people. I can’t wait.
Are they looking at any of the same schools? We know three sets of twins. For both of the identical sets the twins decided to attend the same college, for the fraternal set they are at dramatically different schools. I think the parents of the kids attending the same school are pleased at the logistical implications (same move in day and graduation day etc)
100% overlap on the three schools, but it could end up that the visits draw one kid in one direction and the other in another. They’ve both said that they want to go to the best school for them, and if that’s the best school for their twin, awesome. If not, cool cool. They currently share the same front-runner. (They are fraternal, but very close to one another.) So … we’ll see! And, yes, same-school logistics would certainly be appealing!
Auto accepted to 10 instate publics. Applied to 20 others I think. 100% acceptances. Applying to academic reaches for us was useless due to cost.
S23 came home for his spring break which aligned with mine and we did nothing. D25 is off this week and she did her admitted student day and is working a ton. My ex and I alternate breaks and he didnt get time off with his new job. Im spending some money not earned yet from 2 new jobs to force my husband and I to visit Finger Lakes area by s23 around Easter.
I ChatGPTd Central Michigan and no big surprises. Good, less nationally recognized school in a small more rural college town, with nice facilities and supportive staff. Affordability a huge plus.
Our quirky Central Michigan connection involves an old pen pal. Back in elementary school we had to write actual letters to kids in another state. We connected as adults on social media and met in person once over 30 years ago. Still following each other on social media, both divorced from men with the same first name and remarried. Her new husband and his entire family are alums. We have an invite and plan to join them for our first Central Michigan Homecoming this fall. Ive seen pics and it looks like a huge party! Cant wait!
Do any of you have experience with have tuition assistance from your employer? I have such a “benefit” but it’s not a benefit at all. The college D25 prefers just takes away their grant money in the same amount as the “benefit” because it reduces our need. What is the point? At a different institution, I would be allowed to use it to meet EFC, they would just shift their grant money to cover housing. My daughter doesn’t want to go to that school, of course. And their estimation of what we can pay is way more than what we can pay. Does anyone have any tips?
Congratulations on surviving so far. Just wanted to share something we did as a family 7 years ago post Ivy Night. Not surprisingly it came flooding back last night.
As a family we were collectively exhausted, excited in some cases and disappointed in others, sad at now being confronted with the reality that my son would soon be leaving home and a bit intimidated by the reality he would soon have to decide on a school.
My wife without a word pulled out all of our books of family photos which struck me as odd. At her prompting however we started going through them reminiscing and laughing. We started with baby shots all the way up until the most recent athletic and prom photos. Pretty quickly her wisdom became apparent.
We were reminded that we would always be a family regardless of whether or not we shared a roof. Our shared memories also highlighted how our lives are a continuum and the next phase was inevitable, natural and should be embraced.
Through this discussion my son became acutely reminded of what was import to him and his self confidence to make decisions was reinforced. As you have all experienced, these kids take a beating senior year and they can loose themselves a bit. The next morning it felt like he had reset and no longer cared about so much nonsense that had accumulated over the prior few months.
Many of our future discussions reverted to that evening and what had made him happy and engaged previously. We revisited a few schools but going forward he seemed to have a real sense of what would make him happy and thankfully it worked out.
Sorry to be self indulgent by sharing but this evening of reflection remains a fond memory and hopefully might help some of you as you enter this next period.
I don’t know about the employer benefits specifically, but we’ve had some luck asking for merit scholarship increase at a LAC (thanks to advice from folks on here). I reached out to his admissions counselor & explained politely that we appreciate the generous scholarship but we still cannot afford to send S25 at that price, and named the increase he would need for it to work. I also included higher merit offers from similar schools. I don’t think it hurts to ask directly—worst case, they say no. And many of the small schools that award merit are open to discussion; they are trying to increase yield.
Wishing you & your D the best of luck. This stage is really hard.
Still in USNA limbo! Since his app was started last July and completed all interviews, physicals, medical exams in October, this has been the most excruciating wait. And no telling how long it will drag. Appointments are trickling out and he just sits in “complete pending review” status with no word on a medical waiver. He will happily accept his USMMA appointment but if USNA is a turn down I wish they would just get on with it!!! D25 comes home tonight for Spring Break. I will be working but at leas M and F I work from home.
OMG so tired of driving. We’ve been on the road 8 hours, and have about 90 minutes left (except we have to stop for dinner). I thought my car was comfortable, but right now every part of my body, including my well padded behind, are sore from sitting. This better be the best admitted students day ever.
Also, I sure hope I can figure out how to get my kid home from here without driving if this is the school he picks…
Also, are you coming to admitted student day tomorrow? I’m guessing no, but if you are, maybe I’ll see you on campus! I mean, if we ever get there. (See above - SO TIRED OF DRIVING.)
Then just do not go there. All colleges and “benefits” are different. Some can be stacked. Others cannot. Some cover only tuition and not even fees and specifically exclude housing.
