One way is the only way to go. RT tix make no sense. Airlines don’t price out tickets cheaper for RT anymore- that’s a thing of the past.
Even if you buy 2 one way tickets on the same day it’s better than a RT. The only party that benefits from a RT purchase is the airlines.
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I don’t possess those skills. But definitely admire them
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@fuschiachop , How are you feeling?
Any and all, I want to give a grad gift to a friend’s kid. I was thinking about the Naked Roommate book and any other small-ish gift (size, not cost–she has to tote it across an ocean) that others suggest. My love languages are service and time spent; I’m not a great gift giver unless something jumps out at me as being perfect. Can you help?
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Glad we decided to skip it but sorry you had that experience.
This adapter might seem a little pricey but I travel a lot and swear by it. It’s well-made, can charge up to 6 devices at once, and has fun colors. I bought mine from MoMA since I’m a member, but you should be able to order it from Amazon or other online stores.
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Someone gave that to my second child. He read it and said, “I think I’m the naked roommate” 
but I think it’s a good book.
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Sanity check questions: would you think it reasonable for your child’s student government to plan a “wear your college gear” day before May 1st? Would the school calendar affect this answer?
This isn’t a direct answer to your question. Kind of more food for thought. D25’s HS has an instagram account where all the seniors are posting their college commitments. There’s already a level of making it public. Otoh, some kids like D25 are totally stressed out about it. She can’t make a decision yet and would probably want to stay home if “wear your college gear” was a thing before she decides. A couple of her friends are in similar positions. One can’t visit schools for another week and the other is working out financial aid issues before she can commit.
I guess what I’m saying is that depending on how much before May 1, it might make some students feel left out or anxious. Those students might include the ones with the fewest resources who have to make tough financial decisions before committing. Or they might include the ones who got in all the colleges and just can’t choose. (I’m not too worried about the latter group, tbh.)
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Yes i totally agree. But i was on the “losing side” of this.
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Depends on how far before I think?
If April 28 I might not have a big issue, especially if there is good reason to do after May 1..
But doing it April 15, before some accepted days etc seems dumb.
Honestly my bigger issue is how it makes kids feel who aren’t going to college -not kids who haven’t decided yet. (If this a selective private high school that might be an issue, but even at our pretty rich, very highly educated community in public school there is a percentage not going on to 4 year schools).
Our town has the instagram too, been going on since December but it’s run by kids, not school ..
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The seniors at my girls’ school are done before the end of April, so they have to do the college shirt day before May 1. (It’s a private prep school where 100% of kids go to college, so the fear of being left out isn’t a big one.)
Earlier for a homecoming theme day, I had bought my D22 John Belushi’s shirt from Animal House that just says “College” – and a friend of hers who had not yet committed to a school borrowed it for college t-shirt day. Perfect solution! 
(They have this at Target.)
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That is great!
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They did this at our HS when S22 was a senior. I didn’t like it because he didn’t make up his mind until April 30. He, however, didn’t seem to much care.
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You are so sweet to ask, @illneversaynever ! Yesterday was still touch and go, and my stomach still hurts, but the chills and fever are gone so…I think today should be relatively normal. I definitely welcome relative normal
As for a gift idea, is there any kind of local thing your friend’s kid might enjoy? Like notecards from a museum, or a snack she could bust open when she’s feeling a little homesick? For the Triangle area of North Carolina, I’m a sucker for the Chapel Hill Toffee (https://www.chapelhilltoffee.com) even though it looks like I won’t be sporting that color of blue for a while. And our art museums have some fun and unexpected things in their gift shops that resonate with our area. I’m sure you’ll find something, and it is thoughtful of you to do that!
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I think you are right, it isn’t the best timing when people are still making decisions.
And while our school and a lot of other local high schools have a student-run version on Instagram where people post where they are going, they seem awfully problematic. I mean, I love getting to see where kids have decided to go. But it kills me to see some posts getting 4 likes and some getting 150 with tons of comments. S25 has been adamant that he’s not going to put his decision up there, and I’m fine with that.
Maybe I would feel different if the posts went out all at once, but they have been a constant drip drip drip since January.
It does feel like unnecessary pressure, and I would think a “wear your college gear” day would be the same. @fretfulmother are you thinking of contacting the school to voice a concern? I imagine some people would be in agreement, at least based on the feedback we are seeing here.
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I have a love hate relationship with the instagram page. Like last night when S25 listed a “con” for VT as “it has so many students from my HS going there” I reminded him that, based on the instagram page, his HS is sending 17 to UVA and 15 to VT (so far) and that VT is so much bigger! And his answer? “That’s because people are talking about UVA because they are proud of it.” which suggests…
He’s clearly going to pick Clemson. I’m telling him all the right things - that he gets to pick, that both are excellent programs, that I know he can be happy at either, that we’ll support him at either, that he’ll have a fantastic experience and adventure at either. But I really believe that it’s the wrong choice for him and I’m so so sad that when I’m not with him I just want to cry. I know that’s ridiculous. This is 100% not about me and what I want and he’s an adult and gets to make his own decisions. (Please don’t tell me some version of “you need to let this go”. I know that. I’m working on it. Knowing I need to let him live his own life and make his own choices doesn’t negate my feelings. I’m working on managing them.)
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Yes, so I did contact the school, who agreed, and then apparently other families got mad at me for spoiling the fun.
My kid has not chosen yet, and his best friend has only waitlists and one school he hates (did not follow CC standard advice obv), and another friend has only rejections so far. I think it’s gauche to have this event so early.
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Closing the loop on our admitted students day at Virginia Tech, I did a write-up comparing the Hokie Focus sessions with their open house here: Virginia Tech Campus Visits: Share Your Tips & Recommendations - #6 by fuschiachop.
Like @OctoberKate , we got to see lots of students doing student things the night before we had our admitted students session, both on campus (the break room at the student center had kids bowling, playing mah jong and pool and poker and video games, as well as wooden sword fighting and spike ball gatherings on the drill field) and campus-adjacent (pizza and ice cream seemed to be just as popular as the bars, and we saw at least one spot with a long line of students waiting to start what I’m sure would be a fun Saturday night).
It was lovely, and made me feel like these kids were all very happy with their college experience.
After walking around campus on Saturday afternoon, we had to visit the bookstore (the one pair of shoes I brought had suddenly given me a heel blister, first time in two years of wearing!) and I wound up blowing $52 on a pair of nondescript crocs 
so I wouldn’t be hobbling around the rest of the trip. Of course, the bookstore has GOBS of school logo’s stuph, including a lounging robe, similar to one S25 picked up because it reminded him of The Dude’s attire in The Big Lebowski. I pointed it out to him, thinking I was just joking, and his response was, yeah I’m not buying that because I’m not going to VT. And then he apologized for making us go there for the weekend.
I told him we were ok with going on this visit. It’s all good information for him to really feel like he is choosing the school he wants to go to. It was ok in my mind, for us to visit another admitted students day, even if it was to confirm that he’s making the right choice.
And it was clear after the admitted students day sessions that VT wasn’t going to be his choice. I was initially surprised to hear him say that it wasn’t really the vibe he wanted anymore out of a school. It had been a year, and 9 other college visits, since he first stepped on VT’s campus. And he had done a lot of growth in that time.
Am I just rationalizing his decision? Maybe. But I’m ok with that. As we were listening to the great things being listed about the VT community and the VT experience during the admitted students sessions, I found myself saying that S25 could get all that at NC State.
So he hasn’t committed yet, but yesterday was weird, and he had an honors dinner, so we hadn’t had a chance to talk together as a family. I think dinner tonight should be a good time to see what he’s thinking timeline wise.
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Well, it stinks that other families got mad at you. So I’m sorry for that.
At the same time, it sounds like you weren’t alone in your concerns. And maybe next year, the student government will have a timely conversation about that kind of stuph and set better expectations. So, you’re paying it forward to future families.
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From this side of the computer, it is easy to say: this is a really hard, and emotional time. I understand the tears.
It is also easy to say that you have been consistent about supporting your S25. Yes, you’re doing research, but it doesn’t sound like you are shoving anything down your kiddo’s throat to try to make him change his mind.
Please don’t feel badly for having to manage your feelings. You have the self-awareness to do so away from your son, and your husband. If I recall, your son thanked you at one point for all the work you did to set him up for choosing a school. It sure sounds like you’ve done a lot to help him to this point, and now that part of the journey is done. And you’re aware that it’s on him, from here on out.
Maybe some sunshine in Greece will be the right recipe for inner peace. Or maybe some Greek version of ice cream.
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