D25’s birthday is coming up at the end of the month, and she’s been updating her wishlist, including things she thinks she’ll need for college. One of her items is “- well-regarded books about how to adjust to college :)”
Any input from the hive mind?
The naked roommate
Right-- I’ve heard of that one! Thanks
I’m a parent of a 2025 student learning from the 2026 parents - excellent thread! - any of the books by Cal Newport are great, two specific books are for high school and for college students. Slow Productivity (also Cal Newport) is a wonderful book for everyone at any age.
Another health related book for college is The Student Health Handbook.
@Tonya77 , my opinion (fwiw!) is that it would be far easier to be in a program designed for students who are going to move into another program in a semester/year than one designed as the first of 4 in one institution.
This pertains to help with transcripts and design and availability of curriculum as well as socially being “in sync”. At a 4 year institution, other freshmen will be thinking about rushing, positioning themselves for opportunity for upperclassmen, etc.
For a student who wanted an urban school, the foreign options are great cities. I also think that many study abroad options are a bit more experiential – whether language, architecture, history, theater, etc – and this is a great way to learn how to engage with material.
Agreed. With Verto, they had already worked with our chosen institution to develop classes that are pre-approved to directly transfer. That way we’re not just getting “elective econ credit”, we’re getting credit specific for ECON 101 or whatever. Very helpful. They also do the work of sending transcripts on time for the transfer app, smooth out any hiccups, etc. At least, this is what they promise. We’ll see if it lives up to the hype 
No final decision yet, however Gonzaga’s admitted student event was very impressive! I think she wants to think about it for a few days, but is leaning toward being a Zag! Her friend from high school who is a freshman there gave us a personal tour and the inside scoop which also helped. It feels like a goldilocks school…not too small and not too big, but just right!
Oh my goodness. My blood pressure has stabilized, so now I can just vent here and laugh:
D25 got her financial aid package for her likeliest college and the COA was for OOS students. I sigh, shrug, and send off an email. Today I decided to just make sure I was on top of it, and bc it was financially related (and it’s coming from my pocketbook!), I called the FA office.
FA office: We don’t decide if you are OOS are not. You need to talk to admissions or the registrar.
Me: Can I have that number?
Admissions: You need to talk to the registrar. Get online and go to this page–you can email/call with that info.
Registrar: I can’t talk to you about this because of FERPA. But your kid probably didn’t fill out a form. She should have gotten an email and a “to-do” on her portal.
Me: Text D25 to open portal and look at to do list.
D25: Oh! I’ll do it now!
1 minute later
D25: Mom, It’s already done. (Sends screenshot with in-state residency for tuition purposes.)
Me/Registrar/D25 on a 3 way call
Registrar: Oh, she filled out the form when she did the UC application. We haven’t gotten those into our system for incoming students yet. Without that, you get put as an OOS student. They won’t be up until mid-May. You can call back then.
Me: So, there’s no way to get an updated financial aid package before the SIR is due?
Registrar: No.
I bloody hate bureaucracy like this. I cannot believe that they can get away with not having the correct financial aid before my kid commits to a school, especially when it says ON THEIR OWN PORTAL that she is in-state for tuition purposes. If that’s not “in their system”, I don’t know what is. It’s so frustrating to me. We are full pay, her scholarship was on the financial aid form we got, and because I am utterly confident that there’s no way they could possibly justify her being an OOS student, I will let her submit the SIR. But this is totally unacceptable in my book and if she were wavering between this school and another it would totally push me (if not her! She heard they would “get it fixed” and feels fine) the other direction.
I shudder a bit if this is how they treat students they are trying to yield…
That is just not right. Is there a higher up you can email?
The inability of the UC (and to a lesser extent the CSU) system to figure out that they actually need to compete with out of state colleges for their in-state students is—and I am not remotely the first to have pointed this out—one of the big reasons that the system is under more financial pressure than you would expect for one with such sound fundamentals.
I think this is the crux of it (from the outside looking in): the contrast between the personal touch one gets from some of these smaller schools (not just the SWAG but also the notes from admissions officers, etc.) and the “oops! sorry-not-sorry but we can’t possibly fix this glitch in our system before the deadline so I guess you’ll have to trust us” thing is just…jarring.
Not just the smaller ones!!
(And, from experience, many of the smaller ones faceplant on this, too.)
Which leads me to think of it more generally as an issue of resources placed into enrollment management, and (where those resources are present) competence in that office.
This is awful! There are many state schools here in the Mid-Atlantic/southeast that don’t set their final tuition rates until AFTER the commit date. On the one hand, I get it, they’re beholden to state legislatures getting state budgets done, so they know how much they have available as operating funds. On the other, it’s extremely unfair to those students on a knife’s edge as to whether a school is affordable or not.
BUT at least they all can figure out whether you’re in state or out of state! Good grief! 
Heading out for our last admitted students tour, and last college tour ever!! Well at least until grad school- maybe.
My son added Vassar back to his list after our last tours. He is still undecided and we want to make sure he’s not missing an opportunity.
I’m hoping it goes well, I think he could thrive at Vassar.
This weekend we will all sit down and make our pros and cons list. Hoping to have an answer by the end of the weekend. I should have been prepared for this drawn out affair- he has always been really indecisive. He has adhd but definitely does not have the impulsivity part of it, which is a good thing.
For everyone who has questions and wants to hear from @Jeff_Selingo, we have an upcoming webinar next week Tuesday at 7pm ET. REGISTER NOW!
You can also submit questions ahead of time by posting them here: How to Balance Fit, Cost, and Prestige when Choosing Your School as a HS Senior or HS Junior - Exclusive Webinar w/ Jeff Selingo on April 22 @ 7pm ET. Jeff will answer those live during the webinar.
I hope he loves Vassar! My son was on the fence about it, but after we visited it went into his top 3.
We visited it last spring break. When we walked off campus that day he said he could see himself ED’ing there, which surprised me because he hadn’t shown any interest in doing ED at all. He wanted choices. I was really surprised when he cut it from his final list after all acceptances came in. I know something about it captivated him.
I think he still has a strong love for UW and my gut tells me that he will fall back on that choice if he has decision paralysis, which I’m sort of expecting. Hoping this Vassar visit has some substance to it.
surrounding area beyond school
I include this in location. It’s definitely a big one for my son, although I’m trying to get him to look past some of the superficial parts of it. A very remote school would be a tough one for him (Grinnell) but one that has somewhat easy access to a larger city is enough of a trade off (Carleton, Vassar). I know people bag on Poughkeepsie but it’s not all bad. A couple of much larger schools within 15-25 minutes away is a huge plus. I chatted with a current student and they
said they often go into New Palz to socialize, hear music.
Edit: just noticed the next person to post will get us to 10,000 posts!