Thank you to everyone for your amazing replies. I knew I could count on this group for thoughful, insightful advice!
D26 has two other schools on her list that some might consider targets, but for her I think are more accurately classified as reaches, Marist and Ithaca. So maybe we’ll apply to those and skip anything with a lower acceptance percentage. She waffles between wanting to only apply to safeties and being embarrassed by their high acceptance rates. Her high school is very competitive and she sees all of these other students being accepted to Pitt, Penn State UP, etc and feels dumb because her stats are nowhere near the acceptance ranges. I keep reminding her that she doesn’t need a top 20 school for her chosen major and they may not actually have the best program for her like her top choice does. I also reminded her that said top choice’s acceptance percentage drops way down for the conservatory.
She did submit her application for Point Park last night- so one down! She just needs her counselor to submit the transcript and she should hear back within three days. Of course, that’s just half of the journey, next she’ll have to work on her BFA application portfolio.
Her other worry right now is the recommendation letter. The best thing that came out of their Post Grad Prep class last year is that they were required to complete a Senior Background Sheet that teachers and the counselor could use to compose the letter- it’s one less thing she has to do. But she doesn’t really have any teachers that she feels she can approach so she may just have her counselor (which is fine because she loves her and they have a great relationship). Hopefully that will suffice.
We love Pitt so it would be really great if it was an option- and we got an email that the fee would be waived if she attends an application webinar next week. I just think about what we went through with S23 and I have concerns with how D26 would handle a school with such high academic standards.
Been there, done that. Totally understand where you & your D26 are coming from on this. Some of the kids in D24’s small graduating class were super competitive and throughout senior year, the competitive kids would humble brag, brag loud & proud, and say a number of dumb things that could make somebody with ‘lower stats’ feel “less than.”
I made the following points to my D24 at the time and have said it to D26 also:
Everybody runs their own race.
To all of the kids who fill up their entire list with top 25 high reach schools + 1 public in-state safety, I say, “Good luck.” If you end up getting into a lottery school, you absolutely should celebrate because that’s awesome. But the odds are high that most of them will be attending the 1 public in-state safety they applied to. Guess what? That’s what happened.
Those students will talk smack all year long, and then they’ll get rejected or, if lucky, deferred to RD at the lottery schools they applied to.
Then when RD decisions come out in March, Judgement Day happens and everybody gets humbled.
And when THAT happens, they suddenly stop talking smack. They stop bad mouthing the schools YOU applied to…and they bad mouth those schools because they’re ignorant.
And for those who are currently ignorant, uninformed or just unaware, you should have ready in your head a brief ‘elevator speech’ explaining what your top college(s) on your list are and a small nugget of info about why that school(s) is/are at the top of the list.
AND when you give your elevator speech, say it with confidence (even if you have to fake it). Own it. Don’t back down.
Here’s an example:
Other Person: Where are you hoping to go to college?
You: I really like University of New Mexico.
Other Person: (grimaces, makes a face) Huh, why would you want to go…there?
You: (thinking, ‘You totally sound like a butthead right now, but out with love’) Well, I’m going to be a film major and they have a really great film studies department. And did you know that a lot of their film majors get internships right off campus at Netflix’s big film studio in Albuquerque? New Mexico has this booming film industry now. It’s really great. And based on my GPA and test scores, it looks like it might be cheaper than attending in state here at home.
In this situation, the other person totally backs down and you’ve taken the wind out of their sails. And usually the other person will then ask a follow up question or 2 because you’ve got them interested and they want to know more. So the dynamic of the conversation shifts.
I used the elevator speech myself with other parents when D24 was a senior. D26 has already done it with a couple of other kids at school.
This process is about your kid finding the right fit for them. And what fits one kid won’t fit somebody else. Just like Baskin & Robbins has 31 flavors of ice cream. Not everybody likes the same flavor.
We got a lot of practice with the elevator speech approach when my S23 was planning to attend Oregon State.
Other Person: Where did your son decide to go to college?
Me: Oregon State!
Other Person: (grimaces, makes a face) Huh, why would he want to go…there?
Me: He was looking for a university with a great Formula SAE team. These teams are 100% student run, and they design and build a mini formula race car every year and then compete with other universities! Oregon State historically has had the strongest Formula SAE team in the country, and they are also unique in that their team is a collaboration between Oregon State and a university in Germany, so they also compete in all the European student race car events which are much more competitive than the American ones, and the students get amazing experience in basically running a small international company, including shipping parts and entire cars back and forth!
P.S. Even though he ended up attending UCB, he still loves Oregon State and drove up to visit it last Thanksgiving break just for fun and say hi to the people on the team
Would you mind sharing the rest of your kid’s list? My kid liked Ithaca a lot, and is interested in both Pitt and Point Park, so this making me think we should go check out Marist!
Speaking of elevator pitches, it’s actually fun to learn some amazing things about each and every school on your kid’s list (not even just their favorites), that you can trot out as an elevator pitch. Every school on your kid’s list should have something really great to offer (and generally a bunch of great things).
We did enough of this with my S23 that when it came time to choose one of his acceptances, we all felt sad about each school he withdrew from.
Good grief. My D22 is interning in Atlanta this summer, subletting from an Emory University student. Her apartment building is on lockdown right now because someone was shooting up the CVS across the street from her complex. My D22 was at work and is now hanging out around her office, waiting to see what happens. It looks like the shooter was killed by police and a police officer is injured from a gun shot wound.
She shops regularly at that CVS, was just there yesterday. I really hope everyone working and shopping there is safe. So sad and scary.
So it depends on the major. D26 loved Marist but is starting to rule it out because it doesn’t have a true film major and their media facilities were underwhelming. It is a lovely campus right by the Hudson and seems like a lot of good kids go there. The neighboring town Poughkeepsie is very cute ( but parts can be a little dodgy). It’s about 6,000 undergrad I think.
She is also looking at Quinnipiac, West Chester (not by choice but I’ve heard great things, the campus is cute, and it’s a state school), Millersville (again- state school), Stevenson, York College of PA, Towson, and maybe Hofstra.
(She is also applying to High Point University but only because they have sent her so much stuff she feels like she owes it to them ).
funny story - at S24’s school they use a Digital ID card as well. They DID print physical cards when state required them to vote during election but that’s another story. He went to the bathroom, left phone in his room, got locked out. For real! roommate at class, RA not in dorm. and can’t call / text anyone because the phone is in his room. So yeah - they all have to bring phones to bathroom.
D26 did hers- you now have the option to upload a transcript and it pulls all the info off of that. It got all of her classes correct but she had to manually go in and change the credit hours because for some reason it got some of those incorrect.
D26 checked her Common App portal and still not a single school has downloaded her application. Super annoying since she feels like she busted her butt to get them all submitted as early as possible. Nothing she can do but I feel her frustration.
I don’t know if it’s cold feet or the reality that college applications are here - but my daughter wants to revise her list again, and hey that’s okay but she’s looking for schools that have zero bad things written about them —- and I keep trying to explain that every school has good and bad.
So true and what one kid thinks is bad is someone else’s good. I think they all have this fear of picking the wrong school and ruining their lives. I know it was a lot of stress for my S24 and we had to keep reminding him that even something that seems perfect on paper can turn out different in real life and the only you know is by trying. That is what transferring is for.
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glad it worked out for you as well!