Parents of the HS Class of 2026

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
4451

On the topic of “dumb things that random people say to parents,” back when my kids were in elementary school, I took them w/me this one time to the grocery store. We were checking out, bagger was bagging up the groceries while the cashier scanned everything.

The cashier looked at my kids, looked at me, and said, “Are they twins?”

Kids looked at me with that “What in the WORLD?” look. I looked at my kids, looked at the cashier, and said, “No.”

Cashier said, “Really? They look like identical twins.” (you can tell they’re cut from the same cloth, but my 2 daughters do not look exactly alike)

So I said, “Yeah, pretty sure they’re not twins.”

Bagger then said, “Are you sure?”

Um, what?

I said, “Positive. Not twins. Well, not unless 1 was stuck inside the womb for an extra 2 years.”

Cashier and bagger looked totally confused and both said, “What?” And cashier also said, “How can that be?”

My kids by that point were laughing. I said, “They’re siblings. Sisters. Born 2 yr apart.”

Bagger wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Bagger said, “But how was one of them in there for 2 years?”

Cashier said to bagger, “It was a joke.”

Bagger still didn’t understand.

So I said, “2 separate pregnancies. I got pregnant 2 totally separate times. Seriously, my kids aren’t even the same height. 1 is clearly older than the other one. Have a nice day!”

:rofl: the kids and I still laugh about it once in awhile. LOL.

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4452

It was THIS for me. Haaaaa! :joy:

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4453

You shouldve said, “No, Im not sure. Please keept it a secret”.

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4454

We have this, too – although I’m South Asian and my husband is white, and two of our kids look like me, and one looks like my husband.

He didn’t have anyone assuming adoption (wrong kind of Asian?) – but if he was out with the kids alone, he got a few, “These are YOUR kids?”

:roll_eyes:

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4455

I travel for work and years ago, after I did a presentation, one of the attendees, came up to me and told me it was great and then said my English is really good.

I said, “Thanks. So is yours.”

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4456

The obsession people have with Ivy League schools is ridiculous. The schools on your son’s list are fantastic schools! If he is excited about them and can get into one of them, he doesn’t need to “aim” for anything else. A counselor of all people should know better.

My daughter has a great list of schools that fit her well. Some people have been saying she needs more reach schools. We are like, why the hell does she need more schools that are very hard to get into if she likes them less than the ones on her actual list? That makes no sense.

Relatedly, my wife and I went to an Ivy League school. That is where we met as undergrads. The school still does legacy admissions and we donate, so she’d likely have some advantage. We visited with D26, and she was not into it. And her reasons why it wasn’t the best fit for her were solid. She briefly looked at some of the other Ivies that might be a fit and didn’t like those either (the schools are so different from one another that some are just obviously not a fit for any kid who is paying attention to things other than prestige). When some folks found out she’s not applying to our alma mater (which we loved by the way so I am not hating on Ivys), they have insisted that we should make her apply! That is insane. The Ivy League is not magical. They are not the best schools for everyone. And, kids shouldn’t be pressured to go to schools with a fancy name over schools that fit what they want.

Assuming the counselor is right that your son could go to an Ivy, that doesn’t mean he should go to one. A key lesson for highly competent people to learn is that chasing prestige is overrated. It’s better to live a life you want than one that just impresses others.

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4457

Yep.

People be peopling…

… Some folks only frame of reference for Universities is what schools show up on the ESPN Top25 rankings or the size of the crowds they see on televison on Saturdays.

…. Some folks it’s only what their family members have attended in their area and often thinking that the differences between JuCos, Tech schools,Colleges and Universities and then big time academic Universities just isn’t that much…. “That’s a waste”.

… Some folks continue to see things based on reputations and sterotypes that had been reinforced for 50-60 years - even as we see the landscape changing.

My personal opinion of the ‘Ivies’ has dropped significantly since I was in College in the early 90s. I don’t think of them as bottom tier, but for the most part I no longer hold them up as the elite example to strive for. There’s many factors that play into my personal opinion, that have little to nothing to do with Fox News. But I am hardly alone in that reassessment - looking at the last few C-Suite Executive surveys, the IVY reputation is declining and a bit more each survey. This is also probably where the impetus to look at the non-Ivy or the non-Ivy+, and create a “Public Ivy” assessment.

There are certainly advantages and disadvantages to individual schools in terms of what they have to offer (breadth and depth) in terms of both academic pursuits as well as the things which enhance a students college life and their ability to be a functional adult and a ‘good’ citizen. In as much as that’s true, there’s also a healthy dose of what does the individual student do with what they’ve chosen, and what their future plans are for further education or career.

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4458

Yes! My sister! Her response to when she learned that S26 is applying to Susquehanna University was “Oh! Never heard of it!” Once she looked it up, she said “That school may not challenge S26 enough and it’s small - too similar to his high school.” I didn’t have enough energy nor did I have an elevator speech to respond. I just stopped discussing colleges with her LOL. She also has a HS senior, StepD.

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4459

I know nothing about these surveys, but find your assertion fascinating (assuming it’s true for the purpose of this post, without researching it myself) that the reputation of the Ivys is declining with C-Suite execs with each survey. If it’s not just simply the effect of a right-wing political backlash, I wonder why. Is it just the reputation Ivy’s had in the past was outsized compared to reality? (Which was my impression and experience when I attended one in the 90s). In other words is it just a correction bringing the perception in line with the reality of what Ivys are and have long been? Or, is it some larger decline in reputation that people are starting to value them less than they ought to? Or something else?

It remains true (maybe moreso than ever actually) that the students who get into Ivy League schools have incredible academic and extracurricular achievement in high school on average. On the numbers and awards, there are few other schools with the collection of entering students with such stats. So, is the decline theory that these schools are taking high achieving students and ruining them somehow? It is also true that Ivy League schools have incredibly credentialed and expert profs. Is the theory that these profs are worse educators than at other schools in some way?

Or, is it some newer theory like Ivy League grads are coddled and spoiled in college and therefore unwilling to put the grind in for success due to their arrogance and belief in their own specialness? I am curious as to the why execs are souring on schools that still continue to attract a highly disproportionate percentage of the best and brightest students who are taught by impressive faculty by almost any academic measure.

Lastly, the last part of your post where you mention creation of “public Ivy” and other pseudo “Ivy” type lists, which I’ve seen proliferate seems the opposite of the Ivys losing rep. Rather, it seems like others trying to piggyback on the “Ivy” brand by saying we are just as good as the Ivys.

I have never been enamored by the Ivy League, even though I went to one. In fact, it was the only one I applied to because it was an excellent fit for me, but it’s Ivyness was a turnoff because of how people act about those schools. But, I would never argue that any of them is not an excellent school that provides a top notch education with lots of incredibly smart and engaged peers. They just aren’t the only place you can find that, and at least in my lifetime never were. So, when people bash the education there as inferior (or imply such), I find it baffling.

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4460

D26 has dealt with some ignorant comments from friends, like “why would you want to go to Point Park, why not Pitt?” and she just answers with how good the conservatory program is. But I know it bothers her that her target schools have such high acceptance rates.

Sorry to everyone that has dealt with rude/assinine/clueless reactions! We have a pretty boring family dynamic; the worst we get are the old-timers that say we have a “millionaire” family because there is a boy and a girl. My kids do share a very strong sibling resemblance though so occasionally one will get the comment that they look like a boy/girl version of each other. That does not go over well.

D26 hit another milestone this morning by driving to school and parking by herself. She was a nervous wreck because the spaces are pretty tight but she made it.

On the application front, right now D26 is struggling with how to use the “right” words and phrases in the activities section and not seem completely inauthentic. She did have one leadership position as a captain on her JV volleyball team, but none of her other participation has been terribly noteworthy. You don’t realize how challenging it is until you have to describe the impact of being on stage for 5 minutes in the high school musical.

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4461

This is a HUGE milestone, in my opinion, and definitely worth celebrating!! :smiley: The first couple of times each of my kids drove themselves anywhere by themselves, I was a nervous wreck. :laughing:

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4462

I wouldn’t bash an Ivy, but my personal perception is that the gap between the ivies and the next tier - however wide you want to define that, T20, T30, whatever - is not as big as it used to be (or as it was perceived to be, whichever). I think there’s also more awareness that some lower ranked schools are near the top in particular subject areas. I would think wider knowledge dissemination/discussion thanks to the internet has a lot to do with this.

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4463

Update on “rushing” SAT scores. I ordered Sunday, no rush (rush cost is for 1-4 days “shipping”, vs normal 5-10 according to their website). Scores are in C26’s admit portal as of this morning so 3 days - and assuming some sort of delay between school receipt & portal update.

Tl;dr - don’t bother paying extra for rushing SAT scores.

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4464

That is so awesome!!! The first few times that D26 drove independently, I stalked her the entire trip with the ‘find my iPhone’ feature. (I may or may not have anxiety issues :wink:)
Now I do not even think about :slight_smile: (Well at least not much-lol)

~

On the college application front:

Not much change over this last month. But I knew there would not be much progress made due to personal schedules this time of year. She has everything mostly done though for the remaining schools that she still needs to apply to.
(Has applied to 3 out of the 6 on her list)
She is hoping to get the last ones on her list sent off this weekend.

However- One of her top choices doesn’t open applications until Oct 15th! So that is driving her a bit crazy! She has all she needs for it- but still must wait. (A lesson in patience is probably a good thing for her :upside_down_face:)

D26 has decided to look at (not yet sure if she will apply) a few more schools:
Stevens Institute of Technology
Trinity College Dublin
Embry-riddle (Prescot Campus)

She has been going back and forth on Cornell- but I think she has finally decided against it. Too much effort to apply for, especially for a school that is not top 3-4 on her list.

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4465

I’m a bit late the party -but my daughter gets the ‘Why don’t you want to stay in-state? And why would you go so far away!?” questions. And no one really knows about the LAC or women’s colleges -so she gets a lot of blank looks. Pretty much everyone here stays in-state. The big advantage is – most of her friends won’t be applying to the same schools as her -so she won’t have the competitiveness that sometimes impinges on senior year. But it also means she’s writing essays while her friends are already accepted to school.

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4466

Maybe both. Clearly it’s an attempt to draw similarities in the perception of the schools to the Ivies - but other than the one off jokes (Dark Blue T-Shirts with HARVARD emblazened across the chest and underscored with (The Michigan of the East)) from the 70s and 80s, there weren’t any real comparisons commonly used between the Ivies (and the IVYPLUS) and other groups of schools. Now many ‘reviewers’ of higher academia have their own Public Ivy lists.

For purposes here, I’m referring to the Forbes survey, but Forbes is not the only group who run their own surveys and analysis. Forbes assessment was along these lines:

“A recent survey of C-suite executives revealed growing disillusionment with Ivy League graduates, with many finding them overvalued, arrogant, and lacking practical skills and humility needed for success. Over a third were less likely to hire Ivy League graduates than five years prior, while 8% felt their preparedness was improving. This trend led to the creation of Forbes’ “New Ivies” list, highlighting other highly selective institutions that employers increasingly prefer for their ability to produce adaptable, practical candidates”

It may be some combination.
I don’t doubt that the Top Half of the Student body continues to be among the best and brightest out there (and perhaps that group is the cluster the C Execs see as lazy, entitled, arrogant etc) but I’m not convinced regarding the effects of dropping the Test scores entirely, and then downgrading the relative importance of Course Rigor scoring in applications while increasing the admission scoring of other non-academic measures doesn’t impact your student body, and especially the lower half.
I don’t think we can easily brush off the snap back from (I think it was) MIT which went back to standardized test scores as mandatory for admissions in a pretty brief period having assessed that there was an issue in performance between students who reported test scores, and those who went test optional - independent of their HS academic GPA. Multiple other ‘elite’ level schools have returned to test scoring, rigor scoring, citing it may improve their ability to identify high performing students whose GPA alone isn’t as predictive for success, while decreasing or eliminating their new emphasis on non-academic factors. How one chooses to read between the lines there is probably based on personal bias - but that reads like a ‘whoops, what we admitted the last few years w/o test scores and emphasizing other factors isn’t meeting our expectations’.

And this seems it may extend towards graduate / professional schools as well - the review of UCLA medical school students having a much larger portion of their student body failing multiple sections of their -clinical preparedness- assessments, within the time frame which they reduced their emphasis on GPA/RIGOR/MCAT scores in favor of other non-academic factors - was admittedly controversial and disputed by their administration as to cause/effect - signifies that something has changed there.

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4467

My sibling is a college admissions advisor, very disappointed that D26 isn’t looking at Ivy, or the top ranked publics. We have stopped discussing college with anyone outside of our immediate family. D26 gives noncommittal answers, I change the subject. She will announce her plans when she has acceptance in hand.

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4468

We are pretty lucky in the lack of pressure from family that we get for D26 (and in the past with S20) in regards to which college they go to.
This is probably because Dad is a first gen college graduate (who was a ‘mature’ student at the time he went to school) and my parents were both first gen college students who were also later in life graduates (I was born and lived in university family housing until I was three) and I was also a ‘mature’ student with two kids when I went to college.
So – I think that on the family side- everyone is just excited that college is happening right out of high school- no matter how/where it happens :blush:.

Now outside of family- I think she is getting some pressure. She is known as the smart/brainiac type A personality kid and so most (teachers and friends) assume that she is going for reach schools/T20 types.

I assume that is why Cornell keeps making a comeback onto her list even though she does not seem interested in it.
Probably so she can tell people that she is applying to something more elite.

So far though- she is holding strong onto her current list and seem really eager and excited to attend any of those schools!!!

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4469

We went to tour Embry-Riddle in Prescott earlier this year. If you’re an outdoorsy person, it’s a great area! Lots of hiking available in the area. It’s about a 2 hr drive to the Phoenix airport. It would be very beneficial to have a car if one is attending there.

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4470

D26 is a very outdoorsy type (me- absolutely not :face_with_peeking_eye:)

This one was a case of them mailing out free application waivers on postcards/mailers that actually got the attention of a prospective student! A first in our house - lol

She was about to throw it out and I told her I was surprised that it did not make the list. Seemed like the type of school she would enjoy.
She said there was no way that she would go to school in Florida.
I mentioned that there was a campus in Arizona. She was not aware :person_shrugging:

But now she is going to spend some time researching it. So, we shall see if it makes the list or not. (If it does- we will try to make a trip out there- Dad has family in the area so that could help justify the time to go!) Seems like a great program!

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