D26’s second choice is Rice, which is obviously a very small school. We think it’d be perfect for her but she doesnt want to go to the same school as D24. That’s the biggest negative.
She’s had the same teachers throughout her elementary, middle and high school years and they always compare the two of them. I think she wants to escape that.
I agree with you on prestige, but I still think it does matter where you go. But, the matter is about finding the right type of institution and environment where you will thrive. If D26 were trying to go to UC Berkeley or Chicago or Penn because her peers are (which they are) I would be concerned because I do not think any of those schools are a good fit for her.
I am grateful that even though she goes to school in a prestige factory and has parents and grandparents who went to prestige schools, D26 does not care about that at all.
Funny, because we have a bit of this going on. We’re paying full price for our D22 (also at Rice).
Then, we have S25 who is going to an in-state mid-sized public for free tuition (provided he maintains a 3.0. We’ll see, lol). We actually transferred the bulk of his 529 to D22 to help pay her college cost. He has not asked anything about those funds.
D26 is now in application season, and she is a NMSF. She asked us if we would transfer the funds from her 529 to her if she chose a school that offered a full ride. We said we’d think about it.
So that’s how UT Dallas ended up on her list, lol. It actually does have a major that interests her, but I suspect the social fit would not be good. She considered and then crossed off several other schools that also offer a big NMSF benefit.
One of her top school choices does offer a presidential scholarship that covers full cost – crossing fingers that she gets in and is invited to interview for that. Her other top choice would get down to maybe $50K a year with merit. And her third choice is a more selective in-state public that would also be free tuition, so we’d only pay maybe $20K room and board.
I’m curious to see where she lands – and I’m also wondering how in the heck we’re going to make the money thing “fair” among the three kids. Both S25 and D26 are very unlikely to go on to grad school, whereas D22 is applying to grad programs right now for next fall.
Probably we’ll end up telling D26 that we’ll pay for whatever school she chooses, but not hand over any differential – I’m not sure how I feel about her picking a school with a less ideal fit purely for the money. But we’ll worry about it further after acceptances (and merit) come in.
This is an intriguing idea that I may talk to my wife about. Whether I’d be up for offering it would likely depend on the options she has. Some of her schools that are most likely to be cheapest are a way less good fit for her in my opinion while some of the most expensive are a great fit. She has one lower cost one that is for sure an excellent fit, so perhaps we could offer such a deal for that school even if not for others. Food for thought, but I love the idea. Thanks for sharing!
It’s our way of teaching a 17 year old the concept of opportunity cost.
Of course, when we told D24, she was like, what?
Bates fell into my daughter’s list partially because of this (and also the food!). It is still a reach, and she didn’t need more reaches -but with no essay - it was worth a shot! She would be really happy to go if she does get in.
Obviously an excellent school. We’re fortunate there are so many excellent schools in this country.
There are so many siblings at Rice, though!
I think the residential colleges would be perfect for D26. But so many other things are not a good fit, alas. It makes me a little wistful because we love it so much for D22.
I do get the comparison thing. And my older one was a classic overachiever, so my younger one is so very sick of being compared to her.
D26 is a bigger overachiever than her sister. Which is why Im concerned about burnout. Not explicit, but everything she did, she tried to be a little better (not sure if intentional or subconscious).
D24 was Salutatorian, D26 Valedictorain. D24 1560 SAT, D26 1580 SAT.
She literally wrote the biggest negative of Rice is her sister is there. On the one hand, she looks up to her and they’re actually close but I think the academic similarities and constant comparisons annoy her.
And Rice is a small school and her older sister is in a ton of ECs, clubs, school newspaper, school senate so she wont be able to escape it.
True.
That’s a notable tradeoff for large scale universities.
You often have more colleges, more majors, more classes, more extra-curriculars (Sports, Clubs, Recreational activities), often more internships, company interviews on campus etc..
But students do need to become self sufficient and make the effort to advocate for themselves -or- they will be just another ‘number’ in their class of 20xx and get ‘left behind’. And -Teacher- quality can be quite variable → when the quality of the TA you can get access to is more important than which prof you get for your specific course then you should know there’s probably going to be a Prof-Student problem.
Everything comes with Tradeoffs.
As parents, we need to understand that and try to evaluate our children’s specific skill sets and blind spots to help them to understand themselves and where they might fit best.
I went to school where my brother did - and honestly, I hardly ever saw him. But Rice is smaller -but perhaps there are still places she can find her own niche?
My D22 goes to Georgetown, but I am not so sure if she’s getting that much of an individual attention and support compare to big public colleges like UCs other than smaller class sizes. However, that could be so true for LAC like Amherst who had contacted D22 more than a few times when she didn’t accept admission offer. When she finally sent an email saying that she chose other school, she received emails from two admission personnel, wishing her the best at other school.
It’s hard to tell unless you speak to the kids who currently attend or recently attended.
Both my kids visited Amherst because my nephew went there and my niece is currently a junior. We crossed it off because the athletes are the ones who host the parties and they seem to have a big influence on the social scene there. Even our tour guide said the same thing. The other vibe was that even though the school is diverse, there are cliques. Our kids werent interested in that culture so they both crossed it off but otherwise may have been a good fit.
And that’s why even though Rice is a small school, it’s not 1900 kids small, and my kids were interested in the residential college system.
We speak to parents and their kids on the school culture to get a better feel. Cant speak to Georgetown specifically because we dont know anyone who attends.
They would be in different majors. Not sure how much they would actually intersect but from her viewpoint, that’s the way she sees it.
So we’re hoping she gets into Brown but the chances are so small. They are the “it” school for many of the top students at our HS.
One final comment on this. I really, really want D26 to get into Brown (even though unlikely) because then when people ask where my kids go to school, I can say….
Brown Rice.
Ok, that’s one of the best reasons I’ve heard to choose a specific school. Two thumbs up. 
I’m intrigued by Bates, too. I think it could be great for S26. But I see that they fill 67% of their classes through Early Decision. Middlebury, another school with no essays, is similar. On our Middlebury tour, they point-blank said they love their ED kids. I don’t know that it’s worth even submitting the app and paying the fee in a situation like that.
Ive heard great things about Middlebury, especially kids who love the outdoors.
I’ve written before that my D22 is at UCLA, and the scrappiness/moxie she has developed over the last few years is one of the standout ways she has grown. She was always a great student who was gonna crush the academics. But now has no qualms about networking, trying for competitive positions, whipping out a custom cover letter for a job in 20 mins, being rejected and moving on, getting the answer on her own, etc. Granted, we pay in-state tuition, but I agree that there are plenty who might believe that even at OOS prices, these are some of the best life lessons.
Where was it? My kid has one school where there is an easy to find question about whether you would like to be considered for another major if you get denied by your first choice, but neither of us can find the question “what is your first choice major?” I know not all schools ask you to name a major, but asking for a 2nd choice and not a first seems weird, so I assume the question is in there.