I did not take any prior comments of yours (or the others on this topic) as painting all with the same brush at all. I was just sharing a broader perspective of my experience with such a school so folks had it. Those parents who push a life on their kid they don’t want bother me too (whether academic or sports.). I actually played very high level youth sports growing up and played D1 in college as well. But, I was obsessed. I wanted to play all the time, so nobody was pushing me. I also loved school and pushed to go to boarding school (I suppose that is where my daughter got that streak). Many of my peers in both realms were parent driven. Sports obsessed parents living through their kid. Or prestige hound parents pushing for an Ivy. Many of those kids were successful but miserable.
Oh, one more thing on sports/ squeezing out late starters. D19 was placed in 2nd semester 8th grade when we moved to the US. She had been captain of the netball team at her old school. Obviously no school netball here, and it was basically said that she was “too old” to learn a new sport and get good enough at it at high school. She did discover ECs that had not been available to her before (like mock trial, which she excelled at) but just suddenly being cut out of sport like that was rough.
This is such a strange thing to me - that a kid can’t play a sport because they haven’t played it as a small child. I recall when D26 was looking at high schools, and one school really played up the fact that a lot of their students played sports of all kinds. They encouraged the students to do something athletic, even if they had no experience in it. The admissions counselor even noted that one student got an athletic scholarship for her somewhat strange sport (I can’t recall the sport now, sorry) that she had started as a junior. But it wasn’t about getting the scholarship as much as it was just part of their school culture. They didn’t need students to be great at sports, they just wanted students that wanted some athletics in their life. I thought that was pretty neat!
And FWIW, D26 did not apply there. But that school has produced some pretty outstanding basketball players that have gone on to some glory. So it wasn’t only a “we all do sports” school.
We are purposely visiting Penn State in February for admitted students day for this very reason. lol. Loved the campus on a beautiful, sunny April day. We will see how she feels in the grey, bitter cold
That was a lot of stuff in your post to respond to, LOL.
Congrats to your kiddo on South Carolina – sooo nice to have validation even if she’s already committed to Auburn. Fingers crossed that her friend gets better news in the regular round.
Hope her surgery recovery goes quickly. That’s so annoying about the nastygram from school – I know my son’s public school was like this, too. My D26 is in private, and she had a health issue first semester freshman year where she missed a ton of school, and they were really accommodating, thank goodness.
Hope your son kicks the flu quickly, too. Ugh, what a time to be sick.
So glad to hear about your mother doing well in her new situation! I’m sure that’s a tremendous load off your mind.
I’ve got absolutely nothing to contribute to the sports conversation. 
My girls are not athletically inclined at all, so we tried various things when they were little, but they weren’t interested in team sports. And then we tried dance, karate, things like that – and it was apparent that neither had one iota of skill or inclination to continue. 
(My husband, who played every sport growing up, blames my genes. Afraid he’s correct, lol.)
My son has a motor skills disorder, so clearly playing mainstream sports wasn’t going to happen. He did, however, play something here called frontier baseball for many years – it’s a league that accommodates for various disabilities. He LOVED this, and my husband coached his teams for years, too. Some really good memories, and it was pretty great meeting other families who just wanted their kids to get out there and have as much fun as they could.
The kid also loves basketball, and he played at his special-ed school (which was clearly a different level than mainstream schools). Even there, he was low man on the team in both age and ability. In his third or fourth year of playing (middle school and first year of high school), his fervent wish was to score points in a game, but it had never happened. Until one game, when we were down by a ton, they put my kid in. He was promptly fouled, and in a moment that still makes me tear up, he made not one, but BOTH his free throws. Game ended a minute later, and his entire team surrounded him with so much love.
We have it on video. Seriously, best moment ever.
Ah, youth sports. I long for the days of yore when kids could just play intramural town soccer/basketball/baseball/swimming for fun and not have to go semi-pro by the time they are 10.
we could write that book together!
I’m a PT and I see all the overuse injuries. Both of my kids do sports at a high level but I long for the days of rec flag football and pee wee soccer. The worst to me is that once you hit middle school there really are few opportunities to engage in sports “just for fun.” S24 played a lot of summer basketball at camp and I’m proved a ton but it was never in the cards to play in high school. He is now a pole vaulter (walked on to college team) and fortunately was able to do this while simultaneously playing 2-3 other sports until 11th grade.
Exactly. My son is a bit of a “late bloomer”. He tried a bunch of sports and liked them and was fine at them but not enough to join a club team. He really just wanted to play for fun and to hang out with some friends. But everything became too serious by middle school and so he stopped doing them. He’s joined the pickleball club in HS now and loves it because it’s fun and lowkey. Bonus, that’s probably going to come in handy at my inlaws FL retirement community over the holiday break.
D26 was slower to mature physically so was always the “smallest” until about 15 (people constantly pointing it out too which wasn’t great for confidence). She tried a sport for a couple of years in middle school, but most kids had been in playing travel etc so she was starting out way behind. In HS, she decided she wanted a job instead and has loved that. Total confidence builder for her. I think being loved for your current-self, not the future-self or for potential, is such a gift. Sad to read so many stories above where I don’t think those parents succeeded in that department. I am sure their intentions were in the '“right” place, but ugh - step back and reflect and see what is happening.
@coastal2024 What an amazing transformation for your mom! So glad to hear she is doing so much better in her current situation.
D26 is 5’1” so not really ideal for volleyball. It was fine in rec and middle school, but travel teams want at least 5’5” for libero/DS. She always played well in tryouts, but she would have had to have been phenomenal for them to give her a chance because of her height.
But at least D26 also loves writing, art and theatre. S23’s only interest was (and is) sports. He’s 5’9” which is fine for volleyball but undersized for football, which is his true passion. He didn’t play very much, which caused so much angst- I can’t even tell you.
My D26 ultimately walked away from gymnastics because of the craziness. She was in the gym 20+ hours a week by age 9. When she quit (age 12 training Level 9) she was practicing 4-8:30 pm 4 days/week and 9-1:00 on Saturdays. Plus at PT at least one day per week. It was a miserable grind. She did manage to successfully switch sports, however. She was a diver all 4 yrs in high school, but adamantly refused to do club diving in the off season. It’s a shame because she initially loved gymnastics (was literally obsessed when she was little) but doesn’t even watch it now…
Huge congrats to your daughter!
My D26 has been accepted to Brown too, which was her first choice from the beginning.
I am most happy and grateful that she doesn’t have to write any more essays and stress out the next few months waiting on results.
I want to thank everyone here and I wish you all the best.
A big congratulations!!
It’s funny, we had the opposite issue with my D26 – she was always the tallest kid, towering over her classmates by a full head. And then, we held her back a year after kindergarten, so the difference became even more pronounced.
She hit 6 feet tall by age 11 or 12. Her school’s volleyball coach (friend of ours) pestered us to put her in a week-long summer volleyball camp, which we did. She was actively terrible, got bonked in the head several times by the ball, but still had a stellar time because every day was a themed clothing day, so she got to spend a lot of time planning her outfits. 
And then, she played with basketball band when she was in middle school, so the women’s basketball coach would always do a double take when she saw her, and once we heard her ask, “Who is THAT?” (Alas, she had even less basketball ability.)
Ah, well. She’s now almost 6’1” and loves wearing big chunky boots and standing out – it’s part of who she is. Although she laments that many of the guys in her class have passed her up in height. 
This was D19, but only until about 6th grade, when the boys and some of the girls started catching up to her. She’s 5’8” now. A hangover from those early years was a tendency to slouch to make herself less visible… took a while to get over that one.
Classmates!
Those parents are still ever present!!!
D26 is a different kind of swimmer. She’s known for a while that she wanted to use swim to get into a school that otherwise may not have been accessible without the admissions boost. D1 was never a consideration. I’m so relieved that things worked out for her, and I’m glad that swimming had opened doors for her.
My older kid is home from college and decided to have friends from HS over. Soon, the dining room is filled with kids who attend ivies, private schools, state schools, community colleges and those who decided a non-college path. Hearing these kids and the conversations - one thing became clear - they do not compare!! Not one person cares which school each other go to or that they were denied from their dream choice. They are all thriving and very proud of who they are. We have known these kids since they were in elementary school and my heart is full of happiness for them. They talk about navigating adult life, challenges they have faced, triumphs made along the way, comparing food and of course they all talk and laugh about how they have no money and bum things off the parents except the ones who have entered the work force and they complain about taxes and their work drama. I sit there and just smile. I look over to see my youngest who currently got deferred from their “dream” school and as they recover from that pain, I see the lights flickering in their brain and them coming to a realization that all will be okay. All these ups and downs of this whole process, it is easy to forget how blessed I am to have a room full of laughter and my Apple Watch telling me the noise level is too high. Soon this house will be empty and none of this college application craziness will matter. I hope we all can take some time/mind off this and enjoy time with our family. I surely am.
Congratulations to your D26!! Great news!