Parents pay $1000 for weeklong "Boot Camp" to get ready for the "rigors of kindergarten"

Parent Cafe
81

Again, this isn’t just about preschool. In everything in life, you could say the same thing, Do you really need 8000 sq ft home just for two of you? Can you share your wealth? Do you need expensive dress to look best? Do you need a bentley to go to the grocery store? Do you need $2000 pocket book to carry worn out receipts?

How do you know parents got suckered in by the K-readiness promotion and pressure their kids? Couldn’t it just be sending their kids to a play school? I doubt the majority of the wealthy are so dumb.

82

There’s been several documentaries about the NYC preschool/kindergarten process as well as articles. Here’s one, 8 years old, that’s available to watch for free: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsuIbYLpuZI It’s an interesting insight and I’m sure it has only become much more of a rat race today. It’s only about 35 minutes long.

And, people on this forum HAVE mentioned their Teslas. I don’t remember them getting any crap about it. For every poster who is frugal and drives a 200,000 mile car, there are plenty of posters who talk about frequent expensive vacations, expensive shopping, etc. At times, its the same person doing both - choosing to spend on some things and save on others. We each have our own spending preferences. I’ve seen little judgement either way, as long as one isn’t going into debt to do so.

My concerns are more for the child and the undue stress placed on a pre-Kindergartner for “success”. I have no doubts the kids are picking up on parental angst at young ages. If you watch the video I linked to, the kids are right in the midst of it.

83

“But I will still “judge” and pose the question, “would you consider sharing your wealth?” If you recognize that basic skills and experience are important for school success at the K door then might you choose another less expensive option for your child, but sponsor a less fortunate child to receive some of the same services?”

Can you describe to me the organizing principle behind when it’s ok for a person to spend on a “luxury”, and when that person has a moral obligation to choose a less expensive option and donate the equivalent to charity?

If I pay for a sleep-away soccer camp, do I have a moral obligation to send him to the park district instead and sponsor another child to learn how to play soccer?

If I pay for a private high school, should I send my kid to public high school instead and donate what I would have spent on charity?

If I take the whole family out to an expensive restaurant to celebrate graduation, should I have instead taken them all to McDonald’s and donated the rest to feeding the poor?

If I say I’m going to Europe for a trip, should I instead feel compelled to go down the shore instead and donate what I would have spent to charity?

And for the amusement of the old-timers, just google for what happens if someone makes the mistake of suggesting that they are looking into buying nice watches as 21st birthday gifts :slight_smile:

@abasket, I’m not being challenging here; I’m asking a serious question. What is it about certain things that make people feel “oh, god, that’s just too expensive, they have an obligation to share their wealth, cut it down and donate the rest” when many equal-or-greater-ticket items don’t compel such a response? Because I’ve not seen a single suggestion, for example, that someone who is blessed enough to be full pay at an expensive college should choose another less expensive option and sponsor someone else’s child.

I might also add that at the income bracket you are talking about for the preschool, it’s quite possible that these are folks who are quite generous in their charitable giving (for tax reasons, if nothing else).

84

I think you need to think outside of the box with regards to wealth sharing. A lot of my wealth is knowledge and experience, and I share that freely in the hope that it helps other people.

Money doesn’t always help other people-I think you need to be really mindful about whether throwing dollars at the needy is really going to fix whatever issue they are having. It’s the whole “teach a man to fish” vs “buy him a fish”.

I lean very strongly towards giving people the tools so that they can help themselves, and the tools aren’t necessarily tangible.

85

@Pizzagirl, the same thing seems to come up at a community level.

Years ago, parents in affluent neighborhoods would raise money to buy new playground equipment for their local school or extra books for the school library or other things that would enhance the students’ experience at school. Now, at least in my area, this is not permitted because it would mean that students in more affluent neighborhoods would have access to better facilities at school than those in less affluent neighborhoods within the same district, and this is considered unfair.

I can see both the pros and cons of the new policy.

86

I can imagine, though, that it’s still permitted in your school district to do something like take the 8th graders to Washington DC (ok, maybe that’s a bad example since I think you live in the DC area, but you know what I mean). No one believes that the 8th graders should forego their trip because kids in other areas can’t afford to do so.

87

Here’s an example of a recent post in one of the Europe threads on CC.

Now obviously that cost a pretty penny (more power to the OP, I hope he enjoyed his vacation).
But why is it that those expenditures don’t merit a “judging” and a call-out that he should have spent less and donated something to charity? This had to have cost way more than the $1000 NYC preschool bootcamp.

The same could be said for threads on makeup / fashion / shoes, or threads on exercise where people discuss expensive equipment, or threads on weddings (which are kind of the quintessential discretionary spending).

Again, I’m not being snarky here (though it’s hard to read tone). I am truly asking a genuine question. What is it about this particular thing that raised ire when people on CC discuss a heck of a lot more expensive items than this one?

88

I think it raised my ire because it’s silly. Getting to eat at a Michelin starred restaurant, on the other hand, is a life goal :slight_smile: those guys are artists with food.

89

If I’m being truthful, LOTS of things $$ wise on CC drive me nuts - what people spend on college educations, cars, vacations, food, preschool - on and on. So this thread - early childhood education - is just one aspect. So that sort of sums up my thoughts on your question @Pizzagirl.

A % of US families would love the opportunity to take their family to McDonalds to celebrate graduation. Shockingly, a large % of families would just love to have a graduation in their family to celebrate - and that is exactly what needs to promoted - active, engaged parenting for K success, active,engaged parenting for 1-12 success. I suppose you can say that “if they can afford it and are active, engaged parents, so what?” - but as someone who works in early childhood, who lives in a city where 2/3 of our inner city school kids arrive at K NOT ready to learn, who sees our local public schools graduation rates plummeting - currently at 65%…it is EXCRUCIATING to see articles like this - just because “they can”.

I won’t debate it more or deeper other than to say, birth-5 learning experiences are key to school success. I don’t care about the one-upping. I care about a fair shot, resources, education and opportunities for every preschool child AND the parents/caregivers in their lives.

Most any NYTimes piece or any media piece could be seen from another angle. What can be discussed and debated is the angle that the piece is highlighting. In this case, “K Boot Camp” at a price.

Now back to my desk…to write grants, develop programming, work with professionals and many, many parents so that ideally ALL, but more likely MANY kids will be ready “for the rigor of K”. :slight_smile:

90

I am a parent who has practically killed herself in working long hours and give up a lot of things in life, so I could afford the best education for my kids. I have also voted “Yes” every time my town wanted to increase property taxes for educational purpose, even though I was paying for private education for my kids.

We can call whatever we want of summer camp in the article, but it is not more than what more pre-schools are doing. If a camp like that can help some kids be more prepared for K then why not. I didn’t read anything in the article that children were forced to read for hours or doing math drills.

Any enrichment or attention parents can give to their children, whether they pay for it or not, is better than doing nothing.

91

I have a long time friend who has spent the past 30 years teaching in a pre-K readiness program in a large city school district down south. When we first became friends 25 years ago and we were talking about her job, it was sobering to hear from her that the young children arriving in her classroom didn’t even know how a book worked - which side was up, how to turn pages, etc. I agree with @abasket that our society does need to care about providing resources to all children.

92

^i agree but it’s not going to happen by shaming other parents. Probably there’s too much easy money. Maybe this is reflecting the widening inequality. We could be seeing weakening middleclass. What used to be good enough, public schools, normal kindergarten, is no longer acceptable. What we need may be better funding for public schools kindergarten through college. Why is it ok to give tax breaks to private colleges of the amount about $10K/student while funding only $1K/student at public universities? Shouldn’t we tax charitable contributions to schools to fund public schools?

93

To me this has nothing to do with dolllars. It’s a wrong assumption that all that “prep” work will be beneficial and get you into the right school/college/grad school/job/happily ever after. Most of the research shows that children that age learn best thru play. That play IS the work of young children.

They have the rest of their lives to memorize addition facts and learn ABCs. Why shut off the imagination and creative play so early in life and send the message that sitting still and learning how to walk in a line are the things we should be working towards??

94

Maybe it’s me, but I didn’t get anything untoward from the actual description of the boot camp. In the bucket of “not letting kids be kids,” many of the cram schools in NYC in certain communities are far more guilty of that sin than what appeared to be a general preschool program.

95

I do not have a problem with someone paying $1,000 a week for a “camp.” What I have a problem with is when people jump in and say this is a typical price for a camp. Maybe a typical price in their microuniverse, but definitely not a typical price when it comes to the entire city. It is like me saying the average price of shoes is $200 without referring to the contents of my closet where $5 shower shoes offset $400 Jimmy Choos. :wink:

This is from the article:

I wonder how many of us here cared how many communication loops our 5 yr olds were able to complete back in the good old days of finger painting… :wink:

96

I sure wouldn’t want someone to add adjectives to my snack time chatter. Jeez, let me enjoy my snack, lady!

I’m beginning to look more favorably upon the unschooling crowd.

97

The language volley - the back and forth in communication is vitally important. It’s what kids don’t get when their caregivers have their heads stuck in devices. Or the tv is the most significant background language they are hearing.

However, to think that a preschool “report card” might list the “# of communication loops” is a bit disturbing! What we want to see is the language “serve and volley” - meaning back and forth conversation as opposed to directive conversation - “get your shoes we are leaving” “stop doing that!”. But that can be accomplished by suggesting things like having dinner conversation at a table and not in front of a tv, encouraging new moms to drop a book in their diaper bag for out and about entertainment while waiting - or, talking aloud about that good old finger painting! - stuff that CAN naturally happen in daily routines.

Your assignment this weekend moms, dads, grandparents. Count the # of communication loops you observe when spending time with a little one! :wink:

98

That would require me to spend time with a little one. None in my family, and I’ve paid my dues!

99

Somewhat related, a recent pet peeve of mine is seeing little ones - I’m talking even under two years old - being handed mom or dad’s cell or iPad to pacify them. Or going out to restaurants and seeing a whole family all on their devices instead of talking to each other. Of course, who am I to criticize as I sit here typing on CC on my laptop. :smiley:

100

Post 94–Counting “communication loops” with toddlers is actually harder than with teenagers.
The only “loop” heard in the teen years is mom’s voice going in one ear and back out again. I’ve spent a few sessions adding several colorful adjectives to my own speeches. :slight_smile: