<p>I am trying to figure out how to help my daughter overcome anxiety/ocd/depression. She is entering high school soon and I am afraid of the impact on her high school performance and her future college prospects. A friendship breakup in the Spring made it worse. She was always an anxious kid and had difficulty making strong/close friendships. We assumed that she will outgrow this. </p>
<p>I am interested in hearing from parents of the girls who went through this. What can you do to help ? How long does it take to overcome this with therapy. Are the meds helpful ? </p>
<p>Any advice and/or information will be appreciated. </p>
<p>First, let me state my credentials–I’m the parent of a D who suffers from anxiety/depression and has mild OCD. She has been treated for these conditions for many years, and with medication and therapy has been able to make it through college (and will be attending grad school in the fall). Meds are a permanent part of her life, and the severity of her symptoms waxes and wanes with time and circumstance. Her ADHD and a learning disability add complications.</p>
<p>Has your daughter been diagnosed by a professional? That is your first step, and summer is a good time to start. Frankly, it was foolish to assume that she would simply “outgrow” anxiety/ocd/depression. These are conditions that will likely have to be addressed to some degree all her life and managed, rather than “overcome”. Medication can be very helpful, particularly when combined with therapy–cognitive behavioral therapy, which is of limited duration, is something of a gold standard these days. Please don’t wait to get professional help for your child. You can’t do this on your own.</p>
<p>I have D15 who was diagnosed with Depression and a general anxiety disorder this year. I second the recommendation to seek a diagnosis and treatment this summer. Medication & Therapy have been helpful. We have also coordinated with the school and this has been helpful too. </p>
<p>The transition to HS is stressful and increases anxiety for all kids so its important to try to get ahead of this before school begins. HS students experience stress and depression at increasing rates and schools are dealing with this issue all the time. They are willing to work with students & parents. I urge you to begin with some professionals to determine a diagnosis. My personal experience is that your intuition that there are these issues with your daughter is likely correct and recommend that you try to get some clear information from health professionals as soon as you can without delay. Sometimes, it can be difficult to see a psychiatrist or psychologist right away. There is help out there and you’ll be happy that you’re D is getting help.</p>
<ol>
<li> Make an appointment with her pediatrician for a complete physical (including bloodwork).</li>
<li> Discuss issues with the pediatrician and get a referral or recommendation for a psychiatrist in your area—preferably one that has a good reputation for working with teenagers.</li>
<li> Make an appointment with the psychiatrist for an evaluation.</li>
<li> Get diagnosis and begin a plan of treatment.</li>
</ol>
<p>It’s better to deal with it now rather than sit back and hope she “grows out of it”.</p>
<p>Start by setting up the doctor appointments ASAP.</p>
<p>MommaJ has it right… You have to get over the idea that she will just grow out of it and deal with it head on. It is something that she (and you) will be facing for the rest of her life.
My daughter was diagnoised with clinical depression, social anxiety and mild OCD… High school really was tough for her, but with the right therapist, medication and support from our family and friends, she really has been able to succeed… She recently completed her AA degree and was just accepted to the University of Washington…
I think the biggest things I learned is that its an ongoing process- that you have to stick with the therapy and medications even during the “good times” and that each child really will hit their stride in their own time… Get rid of the expectations and pre-conceived ideas that you have in your head (typically put there from other parents or relatives that have no clue), and create a plan (plan doesnt seem like the right word) that works for her… Enjoy the small steps and accomplishments… That will help her be happy and gain the confidence and power to take life into her hands… It might not happen overnight, but it will happen!<br>
I wish you all the best!!!</p>
<p>Good advice here already with this caveat: try to be as positive as you can about whatever diagnosis and treatment plan you receive. There will be times when you feel undone with your own anxiety about how your lovely daughter is doing–HS can be rough, academically and socially, for any teen. But share these concerns with your spouse/partner and as much as you are able, focus on giving your daughter the consistent message that you believe in her, that setbacks and challenges come with the territory, and that you are confident that her resilience will grow with time. Our children have a way of picking up on our fears for them and internalizing this as validation for whatever inadequacies they believe they may have. Keep the faith–there will be rough times and plenty of laughter and joy too.</p>
<p>FWIW, DD entered HS with much the same issues you describe. Lots of ups and downs and plenty of missteps on my part. She’s now doing very well at a top 5 U, good friends, good insight into what throws her for a loop and what she can do to steady herself. Please come back here as often as you need to for support.</p>
<p>3trees - thanks for a great post. I agree about our children picking up on our fears. My daughter dealt with anxiety and panic attacks this past year during her junior year. With treatment and much support from her school she is doing very well now, but I am sure we will continue to have ups and downs. It is encouraging to hear that your daughter now has insight into what works for her and that she is thriving. I hope that we will be as lucky, and good luck to everyone dealing with similar problems.</p>
<p>Before the doctor’s visit, ask for an order for blood work - a full thyroid panel with TSH, T3, T4 and antibodies, and also check for anemia. A girl that age could have hypothyroidism and anemia that coincide with puberty.</p>
<p>[Caveat - when a teen is having “issues,” the professionals are often looking for alcohol or drug use in the tests, and can happily pronounce that the tests came back “clean” when they are clean for drugs and alcohol (but not for things like vitamin deficiencies).] </p>
<p>Also watch for her being very “modest” this summer - e.g. wearing jeans when everyone else is in short shorts, never wanting to put on a bathing suit. Cutting is rampant among teens these days. It’s a lot easier to mask in the winter than in the summer.</p>
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<p>She may have to meet several psychiatrists and therapists before she finds professionals to whom she can relate, so start asking for recommendations now.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you. My D spent the last week of school in an in-patient adolescent psychiatric ward, so I’m just starting the journey, too.</p>
<p>My sincere thanks to all the parents who shared their experience and made some suggestions. </p>
<p>We consulted couple of psychologists and a psychiatrist. One psychologist diagnosed as ocd.
psychiatrist diagnosed it as depression, anxiety and mild ocd. The second psychologist diagnosed it as Depression and anxiety disorder. </p>
<p>My daughter has no alcohol, drug or any other typical issues. She is one of the top students in a competitive middle school. We took it for granted that her future prospects are bright. Now, I am not so sure with this diagnosis given the competition and great kids out there
Am I being too negative ? </p>
<p>I have to say my wife and I argue and yell at each other rather loudly
once in a while. It is stressful for kids and we have to stop. This may be making matters worse. It is a shame that two well educated parents donot seem to discipline themselves…</p>
<p>A question :</p>
<p>Couple of parents recommended Blood work and full physical. What impact does thyrodism or anemia factor into a diagnosis of depression, anxiety.</p>
I don’t think you have your priorities in order. Your daughter is ill. Your first goal should be to help her get better. I realize you are posting on a college admissions site, but how her illness may affect her college prospects should not be the focus of your attention now. And please don’t convey those fears to her–that’s the last things she needs.</p>
<p>Also, note that OCD is an anxiety disorder, anxiety and depression are often linked, and insofar as medications are concerned, the same ones are frequently used for all these conditions–so the diagnoses you are hearing are not as different from one another as you think.</p>
<p>Don’t beat yourselves up too much about your home environment–while a peaceful home is of course vastly preferable, cause and effect in these conditions is not as simple as as that. I grew up in a tumultuous environment, but some innate resilience protected me from any negative mental impact. It’s all pretty mysterious why some kids suffer this way.</p>
<p>I second MommaJ. Concern about your daughter’s achievements is natural but cannot take precedence over her well being. Indeed too much focus on achievement is a real risk to her as it will undoubtedly trigger greater anxiety and self doubt. Try to create a home environment that recognizes challenge and sometimes failure as a developmental norm. Emphasize process (what was hard about that? What would you do differently next time? Is there any other support or help you need?) not outcomes (test scores or rank). Your daughter needs you to be unruffled and supportive when she faces challenges–this will give her the ability to tolerate less-than-perfection, a state of mind that is essential for kids with anxiety and OCD.</p>
<p>I’ve no idea how the blood work etc would be helpful in managing your daughter’s health. (not dismissing it, just can’t shed any light). I would offer this perspective. 1) close collaboration with a gifted and trusted health care team will be invaluable. Keep trying until you find a great fit. 2) sometimes, when our kids have a mental or behavioral health problem, it can be tempting to seize on other health issues to “explain” the behaviors. But be careful about how you present this to your child lest you inadvertently reinforce the stigma of a mental health diagnosis. Instead, consider making her familiar with just how prevalent depression is among teens (stats vary but 10% is a common benchmark). </p>
<p>And do be sure that you and your wife have good resources and sounding boards so that you can be strong and supportive for your daughter.</p>
<p>Your instincts are correct that the home environment is important. My D’s anxiety, which was always there if mostly under the surface, blossomed into depression while her father and I were separating. We went to a Kids First workshop at which it was made abundantly clear to us that conflict in the home is a huge factor in anxiety among children of all ages. </p>
<p>As others have said, you need to let go of the “how long before she gets over it” mindset. This is a long process not a one-way journey. </p>
<p>Get to know your daughter’s guidance counselor and the social worker at her high school asap. High school is an incredibly stressful experience for many. There were days my D was so anxious and depressed she could barely get out of bed let alone to class ready to learn. These professionals will be a lifeline for you and your child. </p>
<p>Your D can still have a bright future. Mine is a rising sophomore at a selective university and although she still has her issues, she is doing well.</p>
<p>Your daughter sounds so much like mine. I didn’t think of her as being anxious during high school – I thought that was just her personality – but when she entered college, she became more anxious. And she’s anemic too. Anemia can make you feel depressed because you have no energy and you’re tired all the time, so make sure she takes her iron. Is she your first born? My daughter is, and she suffers from what I call the perfection/procrastination dilemma. It has to be perfect, but she leaves things to the last minute (which only makes the anxiety worse). A friend who had a daughter with similar issues found it helped to have her child diagnosed and treated for executive function disorder. </p>
<p>My daughter too has trouble making friends easily. She’s more comfortable with friends who are not first borns – they get along better. Not all first borns are like her, I realize.</p>
<p>D’s anxiety peaked sophomore year of college. She was on medication but not the right ones, I felt. Finding a good therapist and psychiatrist is key.</p>
<p>This summer, she’s working at an internship, and I haven’t heard her say she’s anxious at all (besides the night before her first day at work). I think for her, being “out in the world” shows her she can handle things just fine, whereas when she’s alone in her dorm room, worrying about a bad grade she got and recalculating her GPA and hearing about the horrible job market – her anxiety is unending.</p>
<p>Hope this helps. FWIW, me and my husband don’t yell at each other. I mean once in a while, but isn’t that what husbands are for? :)</p>
<p>Imo, the advantage to a psychiatrist (vs psychologist) is the former is an MD, will be the one prescribing and monitoring the Rx. Important because many kids need their meds adjusted, both initially, to get an idea what helps and how- and over time. Finding one who specializes in teens and college age means they know the context/patterns, etc, can relate and translate. Critical for my kid. She trusts her doc, has really learned to work with her. Be willing to change if they don’t click. Mine took us thru 4 tough years, til a little over a year ago. Is now mostly thru that ring of fire, a rising college senior, continuing on meds, able to self assess. I am proud of her. Good luck. There is good support on CC, parents willing to share.</p>
<p>The hardest thing for my husband and me has been to drop ALL expectations, and let our sons lead the way. Their doctor has said they will be able to accomplish a lot, but it has to be taken slowly - THEIR speed, not ours. Sometimes it feels like a snail’s pace. Sometimes they’re even moving backwards. But we are thankful for baby steps and take one day at a time.</p>
<p>we had weekly therapy sessions with a therapist for D
Psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft. Tried 6 weeks. No improvement.
Changed to Prozac last week.
Started contraceptives to regularize harmonies and periods.</p>
<p>Not seeing any improvement.</p>
<p>D started being anxious about High School which starts in 2 weeks. Saying things like I may not be able to concentrate or see crowds or make friends.</p>
<p>Please suggest some strategies. Worried and stressed.</p>
<p>Maybe a moderator can answer–parent cafe doesn’t count toward post number–you have to post on other forums.
Did your D get a physical work-up to check out thyroid etc?</p>