Parents, some help for a panicking and paranoid kid (moi)?

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
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<p>Hey parents, course registration is looming ahead (only two more days left for Exeter, ahhhh) and I’m just getting more and more confused. I don’t want to do something wrong and regret it ten years later, so I was wondering if you guys could give me some thoughts or advice, since you’ve all been through high school and college and etc. THANKS A TON IN ADVANCE!</p>

<p>I’m going to Exeter as a new lower, so I only have three years of sciences to take, unless I want to double up in science or get rid of another subject. I really want to take an advanced science course, because otherwise I’ll only have introductory courses in each science (chem, bio, and physics), and my knowledge in science will be pretty weak-- according to my dad, at least. He says that science is vital no matter what field I plan on working in… any opinions?</p>

<p>Therefore, my first scenario would be this: I take care of my language requirement during my first term at Exeter by taking Chinese 330 or higher-- I’m fluent in Chinese and know I can do that. My language slot will be cleared and I can fill it up with a second science to take along with whatever science I’ll be taking in my regular science slot. This way, I can take two intro courses in one year and sooner or later I’ll be able to take an advanced science course. The only problems are that I LIKE languages! And I was planning on taking German, which I also love. I’m also super super interested in international relations such as working in the UN, and knowing a European language would be useful (at least, I think. Naive high school freshman here). Also, would colleges go ‘Oh, this girl didn’t take a new language when she had the opportunity and is just relying on her Chinese, blahh we don’t want her’? So basically, are sciences > languages?</p>

<p>Another scenario would be to double up on science my first year at Exeter. This would mean a second science would take up my slot for electives, and I wouldn’t be able to take electives at all during my time at Exeter. This is because upper year I’d have to take a year-long US history course in my elective slot, and senior year I’d have to take one term of religion and two terms of foreign history to fulfill my diploma requirements for each. I wouldn’t have any opportunity to take electives I wanted. Also, I’m afraid that the workload would be too much for me as a new lower. I want to socialize too, find my place at Exeter and give effort in clubs. Also, I fail at time management.</p>

<p>The last scenario would be to be normal and take one science each year (sigh of relief), but take an intro course over the summer with CTY or somewhere like that, which would give me the chance to jump into an advanced course at Exeter. The question here is would it REALLY, since Exeter’s advanced courses are so…advanced?</p>

<p>Oh wow, that was a lot to read. Thanks SO MUCH to anyone who sloughed through all of that. I guess my real worry is whether or not taking an advanced science course is so important. Say I don’t take advanced science courses, but I excel in my ECs and ‘real life’. Would that matter more? And do sciences really matter if I want to do international relations (just a tentative idea, though)? I’m also factoring in college admissions.</p>

<p>THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!</p>

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<p>Tuesdays, did you e-mail your advisory with these questions? My son has e-mailed his and gotten good advice. </p>

<p>All of your scenarios sound well thought out. If it were me, I’d stick with one science and take whatever language you’re interested in; you could always do the Chinese later just to finish up the requirement. Do what seems most interesting this term/year–I’m guessing things will become clearer once you’re there, and you can probably do some adding and dropping winter term if you need to.</p>

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<p>Worry about science in college. Don’t double up right now. Everyone needs a year to adjust to the new pace and culture. Don’t overthink it or you won’t enjoy the “ride.” Remember, part of being a Boarding School is to explore the range of offerings, not to die from stress the first semester trying to cram it all in. Especially since the courses are all hard (even the intro ones.) So two sciences instead of a science and an elective is a bit much.</p>

<p>Your dad is trying to be helpful but I think he’s making things worse. Relax and work it out with your advisor. </p>

<p>Tell him that this alum says, kids who try to do too much, or overdo it, crash and burn. Those who take a reasonable load and diverse courses are able to run the complete “marathon”.</p>

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<p>Classicalmama and Exie, thanks for replying. I really appreciate it :)</p>

<p>I’m actually in the process of emailing my advisor now, but the thing is, I’ve asked her about scheduling courses in relation to college admissions before and she said that she couldn’t answer my questions, since she wasn’t a college counselor.</p>

<p>I’d love to carry out your ideas, but now my main question right now is that if I wanted to get into an Ivy, wouldn’t just taking three intro courses look a bit weak? If so, the only way I can take advanced ones is if I double, since I’ll be a new lower. Sorry, this is sort of still the same question I had as before, ahhh. It’s just… would taking an advanced course/doubling up in science/cramming be worth it if I was shooting for Ivies?</p>

<p>Thanks again!</p>

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<p>Did your advisor refer you to a college counselor at Exeter? My son had a question his advisor couldn’t fully answer, so she referred him to the head of the dept. who told him exactly what he needed to know. </p>

<p>I think all the Exeter science classes are advanced, as far as that goes. Check the requirements of the Ivy schools you’re interested in; their websites usually spell out pretty clearly what an ideal candidate looks like. I think, though, that you’ll be hard-pressed to NOT challenge yourself at Exeter–and better to follow your passions and true interests than to try to take the “Ivy-perfect” load.</p>

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<p>No, but she did refer me to heads of departments when I asked her questions for language and such. I wish I could talk to a college counselor, though! Their emails aren’t online and my advisor didn’t refer me to counselors when she had the chance, though, so I’m thinking they aren’t available to most people.</p>

<p>The requirements for Harvard for example online are to have taken a year in each science and an advanced course in at least one…so I’m really confused about what to do. >.< You’re absolutely right and I REALLY don’t want to double-- I want to take the courses I want-- but I’m wondering whether I should follow my heart or my head, which thinks that doubling would be better.</p>

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<p>How about this - and other people may disagree. I think you are worried about the wrong things as a Freshman. I think you’re trying to “cram it all in” the first year before you’ve even set foot on campus. Ivy’s and MIT look at the whole person - someone with depth and breadth. EVERY person applying who is qualified is going to have good academics. You’ve got three years to do some amazing things. </p>

<p>Exeter likes to “feed” Ivy’s so their course curriculum is set up to be rigorous already. Intro at Exeter is still pretty hard compared to many schools. BMaybe this will help:</p>

<p>Here are Harvard’s requirements:</p>

<p>An ideal four-year preparatory program includes four years of English, with extensive practice in writing; four years of math; four years of science: biology, chemistry, physics, and an advanced course in one of these subjects; three years of history, including American and European history; and four years of one foreign language.</p>

<p>Yale’s admission preamble:</p>

<p>As Yale is above all an academic institution, academic strength is our first consideration in evaluating any candidate. The single most important document in the application is the high school transcript. We look for students who have consistently taken a broad range of challenging courses throughout their high school careers…The Committee also gives serious consideration to such qualities as motivation, curiosity, energy, leadership ability, and distinctive talents…</p>

<p>So why not take the lower year to “figure it out” and double up in 11th grade when you know the academic climate better? I say that because Exeter “kicks the butts” of even some of the brightest kids because the rigor is pretty stiff. It’s the same at MIT, which why the university makes the first semester pass fail - because bright kids come in and try to do too much too soon.</p>

<p>No school and no specific coursework will guarantee you an IVY. What will guarantee you will NOT get into an IVY is taking on too much before you acclimatize and getting low grades or dropping dead of exhaustion :-)</p>

<p>So see if you can get a college advisor on the phone, but I’m betting they will tell you “relax” and take a rigorous but not impossible course load the first year and adjust in future years. It can be done. And the colleges all know Exeter and how hard the coursework is, so no matter what - if you’ll still be viewed as “high potential” if you pull high grades there.</p>

<p>Not sure if they still allow it, but I was able to take enough courses between lower and senior years to graduate a term early. So surely you will have “wiggle” room in the curriculum to double up and take more advance courses once you get into the flow, right? </p>

<p>But I know what your father must be feeling. I’m trying hard not to interfere with my daughter’s coursework as she starts a different BS this fall. </p>

<p>So call the college advisor if it will make you feel better. But go for rigor AND balance. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Whoa, thanks for such a thoughtful post, Exie. </p>

<p>Yeah, my dad is being extremely proactive in my scheduling right now-- he lives in China, but we’ve been having 3-4 hour phone calls about solely this (he’s calling right now and talking to my mom, actually) and even sent me a chart and an article to persuade me to double in science. He’s wonderful and I’m super grateful he’s sacrificing so much time for this, but it’s confusing me even more. Ahh!</p>

<p>Your post made me much more relieved, so thank you for that :slight_smile: I really don’t want to structure my high school career around getting into an Ivy, and would rather it be the other way. I guess now my concern is whether or not I’ll have that ‘wiggle’ room-- but like you said, I probably will. It’s just my OCD paranoia then, haha. </p>

<p>Do you think it would be a good idea to fulfill language with Chinese, drop language, and be able to stick advanced courses into that slot in my future years at Exeter?</p>

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<p>No. I think you are cheating yourself out of an education trying to make this a quantitative analysis. Why go to a school of that caliber if you try to bypass or place out of the very things that make it special to begin with.</p>

<p>What I figured out is that this is a cultural difference between your father and a US parent. We all want our kids challenged which is why we allow them to go to BS. BUT I still tell you that Exeter is a high stress environment and the point of extracurriculars is to give you a bit of a stress break AND to make sure that you are well-rounded when you graduate.</p>

<p>If your father is bound and determined for you to do nothing but science, you’d be better off in Virginia at Jefferson High which is all science and math (and matriculates a lot of kids to MIT compared to other schools).</p>

<p>The best way to handle this is to call your advisor and ask her to put you in touch with a college counselor. Explain the pressure you are under because your father will probably listen to Exeter more than an anonymous alum. If you don’t get a response, call the general school number and ask for the counseling office.</p>

<p>If that still doesn’t satisfy your father, call Harvard admissions, explain the situation, and ask for some advice.</p>

<p>Remember - when Harvard posts its instructions - it’s also meant to serve “non-boarding school” students. So it’s saying, for instance, if you’re at Joe Schmoe Public School and want to come here don’t slack off. But at Exeter there is no slacking off. “Intro” science goes waaay beyond intro science at a public school and you’ll be fine.</p>

<p>But don’t skip or scrimp on other classes or you won’t get the whole Exeter experience. You’ll spend your entire life in a lab pleasing your father while the other students are having a more full academic life.</p>

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<p>I’m not a parent, but I am going to attend a wonderful boarding/day school in the fall. I know it isn’t Exeter, but but I’m going to try to help you out anyway. What you can do is this: once you’re a senior, if you’ve finished most of/all of your requirements, you can double up in science or take an advanced placement course if you qualify, and I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to take more than one foreign language. I don’t know if it works like that for Exeter, but I thought I might as well put it out there. I also agree with Exie in the sense that everyone needs some time to warm up to the new atmosphere, and you should limit yourself in the number of courses and extracurriculars you take (that’s going to be a challenge for me:)). You should do what you feel is best for you, and try not to become too overwhelmed.</p>

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<p>Here’s another take on the situation. If you double up on the sciences from the beginning of your time at Exeter, you will present a senior year transcript which boasts an impressive number of advanced courses in the sciences. HOWEVER, if the Ivy League is your goal, an unbalanced transcript could work against you. </p>

<p>If your transcript is very heavy in the sciences, it could look as if you are more interested in the sciences than the humanities. College admissions officers might think, “if we admit Tuesdays, she might not enroll. Clearly, she loves the sciences. She would drop us for MIT or Harvey Mudd.”</p>

<p>A cousin just made it through the ordeal of college admissions. He’s a strong student, but his transcript would lead one to believe that he’s a budding engineer, not a budding philosopher. He was admitted to colleges which favor the sciences, and wait listed to the liberal arts universities. He was happy with his outcomes, but it was clear that his proven strength in math and science worked against him at certain colleges.</p>

<p>Also, if you’re bilingual in English and Chinese, that’s wonderful. I would recommend that you take a different language, then, one which is foreign to your cultural background. Consider German, or Russian, for example. </p>

<p>I also think that one advantage of attending a school such as Exeter is leaving the tactical games behind. It is very hard to attain high marks at Exeter. Overloading yourself with extremely difficult courses is a recipe to crash and burn. It is more valuable in the long term to do well in your courses than to achieve so-so grades in advanced courses.</p>

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<p>I think there’s some very good advice here already. One more thing that might comfort your dad: you may be able to get to that so-called advanced course within your regular, one-course-a-year schedule. For example, students who do well in biology in 9th grade can take AP Chemistry in 10th (at least at Andover, and I assume Exeter would have similar opportunities). Clearly it’s important to have that talk with a PEA advisor.</p>

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<p>take physics in your lower year and then take the combined chem/Ap chem class in 11th grade.</p>

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<p>whatever you do - make sure you have four years of a language – not to stereotype, but a college doesnt want yet another Asian student with a strong science background and not much humanities. Science is very important and we in the US dont give it much credence unfortunately, but you will be poorly served if you satisfy your language requirement by opting for a high level course in a native language. Start a language you think you want to study in 9th grade.</p>

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<p>Thanks a million to everyone who replied. You guys gave me a lot of angles to look at. I took your advice, Exie, and emailed my advisor and the college counseling office, who both replied with very helpful words-- and both basically echoing everyone here. </p>

<p>In the past couple days I engaged in heated discussions with my parents (which included showing them posts from this thread) and our final decision is that I’M NOT DOUBLING! Woot. Entering three electives into that slot was very freeing this evening during registration. I am definitely not a math and science sort of person, and don’t want my schedule to be overshadowed with classes in those subjects when I could be spending my time in areas I’m actually passionate in. Also, I’m not skipping language either-- this is mainly because I love languages and feel weird about not learning something new for three years.</p>

<p>I just want to thank everyone again for their grounded, thoughtful thoughts (haha) and help, because you really did help a great deal. :)</p>

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<p>You are welcome! We were all worried about you and now I can breathe easier. You are one classy young person! Good luck at Exeter. They are lucky to have you joining them! You make me proud!</p>