<p>Parents by nature are curious. Do they have to ask what my son made on his
ACT?<br>
What is the politically correct way to answer this question?
Should I be honest?
Should I ask my son if I can tell them?
Is this a rude question? or Not?
Help!</p>
<p>There is an old line you might find helpful: “We agreed that I don’t disclose my son’s test scores, and he doesn’t disclose my current weight.”</p>
<p>Ask your son if he’s ok with you telling people it.
Personally I feel that it isn’t any of their business. Test scores are personal and don’t need to be shared. Plus someone shouldn’t ask such a rude question.</p>
<p>Yes. It is rude. It’s like asking how much money you make.</p>
<p>Rude. </p>
<p>I’d say something like “he’s delighted with his score” or “he’s such a perfectionist, he’s going to take it again in month]”. </p>
<p>Good grief. Next they’ll want to know how much financial aid you got!</p>
<p>My answer to such an intrusive question would be “Thanks for asking, he is aiming at a high score and he is still preparing for the test”.</p>
<p>///Is this a rude question? or Not?/////
depends on who asked and why</p>
<p>It’s a rude question. I was asked this question more times than I expected and always answered it “he did really well”. My sons seemed to share the scores with anyone who asked though.</p>
<p>Respond in a monosyllabic tone like any high school boy would when asked, ‘how was school today?’. And of course, the only answer is “fine.” :)</p>
<p>Ask them why they are asking. Then, if it’s because they are trying to understand the process, where their kid falls, college application issues regarding the ACT, etc, direct them to this site. Here, people share that info anonymously, and it can be helpful as a newbie parent to learn and understand all the stuff about the various tests. Sometimes, I don’t understand why we are so private about what we earn, etc. How do you learn what certain jobs pay, or what benefits companies give, or how to manage money better, if you don’t have people you can ask about these things once in a while? I make awful money, and I am not afraid to admit it, because I chose the job and like it despite the pay. I use my story to help people trying to get into the same field, where you can work in a few different types of settings which each offer benefits in differing forms…and I share our struggles while I stayed home for a dozen years raising kids on one income, our struggles now to pay for college, etc. Life is life, why be embarrassed about how you live it?
Of course, don’t share info that isn’t yours to share. I just wonder why people are asking…that would matter to me in whether I asked my kids if I could share their scores, etc, or not given the situation…</p>
<p>I have people who ask for my help in these college admissions matters–well, I am a long time CC member! 
I have found that many people overestimate how good their test scores are and underestimate how good of a score they will want to have for the schools they are planning to apply to. </p>
<p>Sometimes knowing the score can help sway a kid to retake or to add a different mix of colleges to the application derby…all of which is a good reason to know the score.</p>
<p>Yes, I think it’s rude to ask. </p>
<p>But, it is rude to answer with the score?</p>
<p>Everything is situational to the people involved. What is right in one situation, may be wrong in the next. If it feels rude and invasive–then say so. if it feels to be a natural extension of an existing close relationship and you don’t mind answering–then say so. But if you are uncomfortable, then dont. And where is your child in this equation–sharing themelves openly or not? Or just with close friends? etc.</p>
<p>If someone ever asks a question you don’t want to answer, all you have to say is “I’m sorry, but that’s information I’d rather not share.”</p>
<p>It is intrusive to ask someone unless you have an ongoing relationship that suggests sharing that information is the norm within the relationship…My son went to a private school and I knew several parents all 12 years. We sahred and commisserated many many things. But that was with SOME parents–not all. And the boys themselves openly shared information with each other–and the info flow tended to go from boys to parents. And between parents it then became “I heard…” Thats just the way it was.</p>
<p>Your mileage may vary and your situation my be very different.</p>
<p>But if this is someone whom you havent been to their home, they havent been to yours, and you arent close with the parents, your child isnt close with their kids, etc.–then don’t.</p>
<p>The very fact you are asking the question on a posting board indicates your reluctance. So go with your gut–smile politely , decline to answer, and keep it to yourself.</p>
<p>I think there is a difference between asking generally how someone did - were they happy with the result - and asking what the actual score was. I chose to answer both questions the same way. Anyone who really knew my sons had probably already heard the exact score from them.</p>
<p>“Oh, Happykid didn’t take any of those exams. She’s only applying to schools that are on the fairtest.org list.”</p>
<p>I dont think it is rude, but it is personal. I have never told anyone my son’s scores.</p>
<p>Try to rephrase question. I’ve been asked if darling darla could get into MIt, for ex. I’ll ask if she did very well on Q part of SAt, NMF, etc. I won’t dissuade but will take the time to offer other college choices and their mean or median scores. I will do this research for close friends only</p>
<p>This is the perfect opportunity to answer " 2340…is that good enough for ‘flagship U’?" I’d really want to do that.</p>
<p>My D is now a Freshman in college. We shared her poor SAT and then later, much better ACT scores, when discussing the college quest with friends and acquaintances. In return, on occasion, we got some good feedback based on that data.</p>
<p>We know some parents and kids who treated the whole college search experience as a family secret, which I guess worked for them.</p>
<p>Interesting how sometimes we are all so different.</p>
<p>If I didn’t want to tell them, I’d say “I don’t remember the exact number - I think it was, like, a 47 maybe?” and then just smile.</p>
<p>In high school, many high school classmates and I tended to try keeping our SAT scores secret because of the prevailing cutthroat atmosphere and the practice among some popular-smart kids and a few teachers to refer to those with SATs below 1350/1600 pre-1995 as “■■■■■■■”. </p>
<p>From that experience and trauma I heard from other high school and college classmates, I do feel it is rude for anyone who is not a CLOSE friend/relative to ask for the score. </p>
<p>Also, none of us in high school shared our friends’ SAT scores with their parents. That would be considered tantamount to blabbing about it to other kids at school and thus, a serious violation of trust. Moreover, SAT/ACT mania was such that many of us in high school didn’t want to talk about it by the time we arrived home to chat with our parents about the day/week.</p>